You Took Too Long To Reply To My Comment, I’m Unfollowing You

I seriously cannot believe the level of morons that I have to deal with … I’ve been processing up to 500 comments a day, I’m running a backlog now of around 60-70 … I’m replying to comments on the little orange box, and attacking the queue from the top and the bottom … I even posted about the fact I was struggling with it … Danny been helping me too !


I can’t even be bothered to copy and paste the comment, it’s somewhere on my about or home page, but reads essentially :

“You took too long to reply to my comment I’m unfollowing you”

To which I replied something like :

“Petty, but each to their own”

I mean come on, it’s probably been a couple of days. I’ve had people take a month or more to reply to comments I’ve left on their blogs. If anything I’m just pleased to hear from them … We all have busy schedules, is it really that important whether I took 5 minutes or 5 days or 5 weeks …

Reminds me of a friend who got shitty with me because I didn’t do the “your place, my place” routine when visiting each other. Fully grown man ! My real friends couldn’t care less who’s turn it is. I have friends I always visit them, and I have friends who always visit me, the friendship’s the important thing not who’s damn turn it is … Petty, petty, petty …

Where does all this stupid pettiness come from ?

Warm regards

Don Charisma

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Notes for commenters:

Don Charisma Warning Improvised Writing

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma

337 thoughts on “You Took Too Long To Reply To My Comment, I’m Unfollowing You

  1. I just discovered your blog while I was at Mostly Blogging.

    I had to laugh at whoever got angry with you over something so … stupid. I mean really it’s laugh or cry sometimes, you know? Maybe they were just having a bad day and … I don’t know.

    I don’t have a blog yet, but plan to by the end of the year. I’ve left comments for bloggers and they’ve answered me up to a month later. I was happy to hear from them.

  2. am so glad I stumbled here – good to see that I’m not the only one confused by blogging at times. I suppose its anyone’s prerogative to only want to follow sites that answer them quickly, but it can be a jolt to one who tries to keep up

  3. I don’t usually comment expecting a reply. Especially if someone, like yourself, has hundreds of likes and comments. I do get happy when I get a reply . . . it could be months later . . . doesn’t matter. It is fun to communicate via blogs, but I don’t expect it. Especially since sometimes I don’t realize I am commenting on a post that is not current. 🙂

      1. Hello again Don. My apologies for the absence on the blogging scene as I took a personal break for several weeks and am playing catch up now. So did you ever get to the bottom of whether it was a spam?

        On a different note, being a writer, do you ever go through personal issues where you just don’t have it in you to write anything? If so, how do you deal with those times?

  4. I can’t speak for the idiots, I can only speak for myself. So, I comment on a persons blog because I want to. My comment or follow is not a binding agreement that means that you have to speak to me. It simply means that I felt the need to comment, you’ll read it when you get around to it and comment if you feel like it. At least that is how I look at it.

  5. ahhh people….such assholes. Why would they get mad if sometimes they also take too long to reply? I understand what you are going through Don and I do not get mad at all….sometimes I even forget about it.

  6. Thanks for the follow. Enjoyed looking around here and reading. Don’t worry, I won’t expect a reply on my comment. I never leave one because I expect a reply. If it’s a question, then I’d appreciate an answer but never expecting one! As for the guy from the post who stopped following you because you didn’t give him the attention he oh so thought he deserved…well he can hit the road. Who needs wishy washy?

    1. You’re welcome, I just do my best at the moment to reply as quick as I can … and yes, after replying to thousands of comments, one isn’t so patient with people who aren’t patient with me … thick skin is growing … cheers … Don

  7. This shit made me laugh so hard….I ask myself the same question on the daily (“Where does all this stupid pettiness come from ?”) I guess people have wayyyy to much time on their hands.


  8. I see all your posts (mostly the interesting and beautiful photos) but don’t comment because I figure you must be following every blog on the planet! Are you Santa Claus?

      1. 😀 Oh good. So now you know I can be mean if you don’t respond in time!
        Love reading your blog, btw. Was lurking in the shadows for a while and then finally decided to jump in!

      2. Always happy for lurkers to make themselves know, I’m pretty personable to other personable people 🙂

        And yes sometimes I don’t reply instantly to comments, just do my best and it doesn’t mean anything bad !

      3. Of course not! I too love to hear from other people, and love talking. But sometimes there just isn’t enough time! I understand completely 🙂

  9. Sorry but it makes me laugh. You write a lot of post like this one: insulting, criticizing, can i write whatever I want in your blog?, please unfollowed me and now this. I suppose it’s the price you pay for having a lot of traffic. In any way you’re practising interpersonal relationships, so be lucky! haha 🙂

  10. I believe you answered your own question. The pettiness stems from the stupidity lol. 😉 It’s not like you have one follower (more like a gazillion … lol). Don’t sweat the small stuff. 🙂

  11. Waaaa! Took a long way down here! hahaha 😀

    You’re doing your best Sir Don, it’s not your loss.. you already have a lot of followers. Your gain, not theirs. Hope things are well with you. Be blessed Sir 😀

      1. Hello Sir Don!

        I am just here around the corner, been dealing with a lot of stuff at the moment and looking forward to better days hopefully.

        Just haven’t updated the blog a lot but I still read most of your posts. 😀

        Hope you’re doing great! Keep safe always.


      2. Hey Mikee, sorry to hear of your woes, I hope things will improve soon for you 🙂

        You do what you need to do, and if you feel like reading anything then that’s a bonus for me …

        All ok for me



    1. LOL … nevermind, eh !

      I’m gearing up with audrey for a wbiia3, your name is high on the list of participants, it’ll be an improv event, wanted to give you a heads up (again ?) cheers Don

      1. I need to keep it small’ish and select in the number participants because it’s something cutting edge, I don’t think been tried before on the blog … I’ll drop you over a quick email …

      2. No apologies necessary dude, we all have our schedules, commitments and need for “me time” … I spelt three words wrong in that sentence (corrected now) …

        Let me drop you over an email now, so we have a line of communication open …

    1. Bit stalker’ish really, however a blog isn’t really stalkable due to it already public nature … that’s like a TV news man accusing the camera men of stalking him because they are filming him …

  12. Oh good grief! I can’t believe they did that to you. Really? Can they be that sensitive? Do they watch the news? Don’t worry about it for a New York minute babe. I blog because I enjoy sharing my writing. And I enjoy other blogs like yours not because I get comments or follows. Just for the shear creativity of it all. Keep doing what you do. You have a fan with me. Regardless if you respond to me or not. 🙂

    1. Always repsond even if it’s only a smiley face … and good to share the good and the bad, people have complimented me when I share the negative stuff that’s it’s helped them, so win-win all ways … see you soon … Don

  13. See, I cannot even begin to understand behaviour like that. I suppose that’s why I tend to walk away from people who pettily demand my time, or make assumptions just because it took me awhile to get back to them. I work 12 hour shifts at a hospital, have a five-year-old son, a husband who works very long hour, and a novel on the go. While I would certainly try my best, there is no possible way I could comment on 500+ comments a day and still keep quality material for my readers! I commend you for that level of interaction! 🙂

    Seems like most of your following feels the same, and is likely the reason you are so successful!

    1. For sure … I like the interaction and make time … when I first started blogging 25 comments used to take me all day, now I can do 500 comments in 6 hours … in another year maybe I’ll be able to do 5000 in an hour … who knows … “anything is possible which Charisma” LOL

  14. I take time to respond to comments all the time, especially people I like best, because I want to give thoughtful answers or sometimes because the questions posed requires research. One lady took a month to reply and we had a lovely conversation. As many people said, better off without someone who can’t understand a very human limitation, time. We all have it and its going to come bite us each and every one eventually. Frankly, each time we give someone the time of day, we’re literally giving them a bit of our time, which in aggregate, is our life. And we only have one. Some of us choose to save our lives by staying away from exploding volcanoes. Some of us choose to save our lives by not spending it on people who would waste it. Cheers!

  15. Being a complete newby in the blog world and seeing how many people follow you .. I must say I was very impressed when you replied to my comment a while back . I can’t even find time to post on my own blog . I’m hoping you can let all this stupidity run off your back . I don’t know where these people come from or how they sleep at night but Bravo to you for fighting back . I read most all your posts but hardly ever comment as I don’t think I can add much more except ” Go Get’em Don ! ” and keep up the good work ! :o)

  16. Mmm, bacon.
    Sorry, I’m a bit of a magpie when it comes to bacon.
    Even though it’s nice get a reply to a comment left on a blog, it is definitely not required. If a reply is warranted and the blogger feels like commenting to your comment, great! I certainly won’t feel slighted or feel I’m being ignored if I don’t get a reply.
    That said, I’ll be awaiting your reply to my comment (just kidding).

  17. Really? I don’t even expect a response to my comments. I am posting a comment, not initiating a conversation. A comment is a singular statement which I thought wasn’t obligated to be responded to. Oh well. Stupid me. 😉

  18. Haha..I can only imagine how immature that person was.I mean everyone is busy.Sometimes I hardly have time to reply to people’s comments even for a week.I actually feel bad about not reading their posts everyday but I can’t help it.

  19. wow – really I am unfollowing you?? I write on peoples blogs and then if they get back to me I am happy, and if not I don’t notice, I don’t run tabs – lifes too short. I am surprised anyone has the time or energy to have Online OCD. But now of course I am going to check every 5 minutes if you answer, and if you don’t I will have to consider what to do to punish you 🙂 – happy working on the backlog!

  20. If they are that impatient, do you even want them following you? You, literally can’t please everyone. I’ve accepted that. Plus, do you not have to comment on this if you don’t want to. I’m happy to have just found you. Not Petty At ALL. Spread the Love.

  21. Well I have decided to re-follow your blog after seeing this post.
    I have also just enrolled in a ninja class. A secret one.
    You would have been welcome to join too DC. But no no no!
    Someone was too busy to reply!

    Today we learnt how to throw these awesome star shaped things.
    I can throw like two million. In like, a second…

    Someone should write a short script about ‘blog-tiffs’ as I call them. Would be great haha 🙂


    P.s. The movie could end in a cataclysmic ‘blog-off’ hahaha!

    1. Very much enjoyed reading your comment … I’m doing an improv event coming soon, so keep an eye out for it you might enjoy, and we might if we can get it off the ground need some more spontaneous wits to participate …

  22. Oh Lordie I feel guilty now ~ Im one of those bloggers who take ages to reply to comments ~ as you say we are BUSY people and I can’t always spare time to read the comments every day. Once a week is often the best I can do.
    To paraphrase Dr Seuss, “those who matter don’t mind, those who mind, don’t matter!”

    1. I know hun, and look don’t worry about it, I don’t care that i get people replying 1 week 4 weeks or whatever … it’s the thought that counts 🙂

      I have said saying on my front page 😉

  23. I’m giving you 8 hours to respond to this comment. That’s plenty of time. And if you miss my deadline be even one second, I’m going to stop following your blog. I’ve given you fair warning.

    Oh wait, I haven’t been following your blog. Okay, I fixed that. Now I am following your blog. It’s up to you whether or not I still we be 8 hours from now. See, I can be petty with the bet of ’em!

  24. I’m quite certain that comment was to get a rise out of you or this person is seriously starving for attention. I’ve noticed its those sad desperate souls with noting else to do that usually make such coments. You’re blog is great and you do a great job keeping up from what I can tell.

  25. You’d better reply to me in TEN MINUTES! Some people! You will get a lot more people who are not so petty so I wouldn’t worry about it. Looks like you are doing good! Keep it up. 🙂

  26. WOW… That’s all I can really say. Do people think you have no other life then just to sit in front of your computer to write blogs and respond to replies? We all have lives and life tends to take up time that doesn’t involve desks and computers.
    I would love to write more on my own blogs but honestly, I’m usually to tired to, both emotionally and physically, at the end of the day. I also tend to be a little to busy during the day to find time to get online and do anything. No-one needs negativity in their lives, nor do they need emotional-vampires sucking away on them.
    I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Thank you for the replies you’ve left me and for just dropping by my blogs when you do.
    Warmest wishes to you and yours,

      1. I don’t believe WP will completely shut off comments, because they would lose too many bloggers.

        I like the idea of being able to turn off comments on my own blog. And encourage readers to interact with me on social media where the exposure is higher.

        I’m still a new blogger though. I don’t know if this would benefit me or not. Something I might tinker with at the end of May or June.

        I am curious though as to why you have comments disabled on your G+ posts.

      2. I didn’t know I did have comments disabled on G+, I’ve had some comments before … it’s possible I just don’t answer them because I never get off the blog !

        As for the “engagement” in other networks, I don’t know, I very happy with the engagement I have here on wordpress, and am most at home here … FB, Twitter, G+ … I’m still fairly much a newbie !

      3. I just checked and G+ comments are on. Maybe I missed something. Wouldn’t be the first time!

        I just finished up a social media boot camp course, so I am very social media happy 😉 Twitter and Google Plus are my new favourite places for gathering/sharing content.

      4. OK, thanks for confirming Carrie-Anne … and concur that Twitter and G+ are my next fields of expansion, FB is I’m afraid something I’ve never really gotten on with … I use it mainly because it’s popular and other do too … assuming you know about publicize in WordPress ?

      5. I’ve given up on FB. FB algorithms make it rather difficult to reach your audience. So I have a pinned post on my page directing people to the social media accounts that I am active on.

        Publicize for WordPress is very convenient, but I only use it for Twitter. For G+, I create a bit of an introduction to my post. I include a header, a brief summary (without giving all the info in my blog post), then a short link to my blog post, a short link for people who like to pin to Pinterest, and then attach a image that hopefully grabs attention.

        It is a lot of work, but I only post once or twice a week, so it’s doable.

      6. Your experiences very much mirror mine. FB are in it for the money, so limit/disable/cripply everything so you have to pay to promote yourself … and generally I don’t much like FB as a social network, the only validity I feel is for families, otherwise it’s like a kind of social club for people I don’t really care to share anything with …

        Had same ideas, best solution would be a syndication engine that was customized for my purposes … probably could sell such software or online service … but it’s a lot of work, without a gauranteed pay-day …

        Nice chatting to you about this, especially since all of what we’re discussing is of great interest to me and what I’m doing with DOn Charisma 🙂



      1. Should have been, I put your email in the box … don’t worry for now I’m leaving that one in draft, so no urgency … I’d like you to see it and tell me what you think 🙂

      2. Super – will look now.
        Ps –
        Something interesting I have noticed – maybe you would know why.
        The disco flutterby seems to lose its giff factor as it moves along? Was that inevitable Mr technician?

      3. You mean when it’s been copied and copied onto other blogs ? problem is that inexperienced bloggers start resizing it and messing with it and it gets “damaged” along the way … My badge for the angel award someone had resized horribly down to 150 pixels for her blog, and then awarded and the other person had used the horrible image … I kinda felt like telling them, but probably more effort than the reward !

      4. Yeah – that thing:I asked one lady who did a post and she said she thought it may be because she posted from the wordpress app on her phone.
        Honestly – I really cant be asked to be bothered about it – just curious. AND one of those arbitrary things one wonders about O_o

  27. What? You were not at his beck and call? I mean come on. I already think you have no life other than your blog considering the fact you are even ATTEMPTING to try to respond to EACH AND EVERY COMMENT. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful, but you have an insane amount of comments. I TRY to comment back to each comment on my blog, but some get missed. It’s called a life.

    I commend you for trying, and because you are trying, you ( and this includes Danny ) are also not expected to answer that very minute a comment comes up. This blog cannot be the only thing that you have your plate.

    If someone is going to be like that, you really don’t NEED them to be following you anyways. Have a life people ( that includes both of you ). Respond when you can, or don’t. It’s up to you. It’s YOUR blog.

    1. Thanks Kimberly 🙂

      And I have to reply, or the queue just gets longer … but don’t worry it;s no biggie, I’m happy doing what I do …

      Keeping on keeping on …



  28. … moreover yesterday you explained your choice to moderate comments in order not to miss none..
    What do you want more, DEAR PEOPLE? Leave him alone!! Grrr..

      1. … you’re welcome … I didn’t want to be your “lawyer”.. but I just couldn’t refrain my self.. 🙂

  29. Wow. DC, do you suppose comments like these are related to the frequency of one’s posts? For example, in my case I could not anticipate such a comment because I am a very irregular blogger anyway. Bloggers are just not used to ‘seeing’ me out here regularly, even on a weekly basis in most cases. I just don’t have the time, regretfully on my part. (perhaps happily on other’s parts… I guess it depends on who you ask….:) )

    Anyway, whatever the case, it is petty, I agree.

    btw, you don’t have to reply! 🙂 regards my friend

    1. Thanks my friend, and i see your point …. perhaps my next post will be “I’ve Unfollowed You, You’re Clogging Up My Feed” … to which I have exactly the same answer … if someone doesn’t like the frequency of posting then either adjust settings or just quietly unfollow … I do post a lot, because I like to and many of my readers enjoy a variety of posts …

      I always reply to you hun 🙂



  30. the people that say they will un-follow you let them be, they seem to just be seeking attention. to them, comments are important than what they’ve written. some people are just me me me

  31. Late to the game, as usual, but Heaven forbid YOU have a life, too. 🙂 Or is there some kind of comment response deadline rule that I missed somewhere? Also, in some circles, it’s ok to be fashionably late…

    1. True hun … I never actually said in any of my posts, but some days I’ve spent 4-6 hours just on replying to comments, and I’ve been doing this for 9 months … nevermind I enjoy it, good people like yourself do make it worthwhile 🙂

  32. Wow. It’s those expectations. I’m always pleased and delighted when I get a comment from you super-bloggers. I usually don’t ever expect it because I know how difficult it is for me to get around to all those I follow and those who follow me. For you folks, it’s takes 50x the time and energy (because you have about 50x more followers than I do!) I appreciate it every time I see your gravatar on my blog!

    1. Best efforts on my part Susan, and like I said, it’s not a game of “your place, my place” … we’re adults and some people have more to do than others … good to see you 🙂

  33. We get all sorts of people on the net and it was just inevitable that you encountered one of these types. Lets just hope he/she learns a lot from this and fast. More power to you Don! 🙂

  34. Dude that’s shitty. But I gotta say I am jealous of how many followers you have! I guess I won’t know the struggle for a while 😛
    Oh, and if you don’t respond to this comment I promise I won’t be offended, you busy guy 🙂

    1. For sure, and yes I hadn’t thought of that angle … and probably best if they have unfollowed, jealous usually got some anger and hatred in there, that’s not really what I’m about … dead weight, bye bye !

  35. Do what you want to do Don. You’re killin’ it! Just because someone’s offended, doesn’t make you or your actions offensive. And it certainly doesn’t make them right. You obviously have an awesome following!

  36. Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
    You are doing fine and your numbers are growing fast! Impressive! Maybe I should get lessons from you… We all go through these stages. Sometimes in different order.-OM
    Note: Comments disabled here, please comment on their post.

  37. Wow it sounds like a full time job, keep going and just ignore the stupid people, a lot of us on here look forward to and enjoy reading your posts, I we feel we need to comment that’s fine, we don’t all expect a reply, the reading of your posts is what it is about x

  38. In the surfing world, when a master shaper on a label gets to big for his britches; he will employ a “ghost shaper.” So for the top team folks and the big wigs, they get the shaper. The run of the mill customer gets the ghost shaper.

    So…on that note, how will we know if we are getting the authentic Don comment or the “ghost comment” from Danny? Will there be an official seal? Ha ha!

    Anyway, have a good week and enjoy the spoils of becoming the bigger fish in the pond. A lot of extra head ache at times…but worth it.

    1. THanks Steve, and it’s an interesting way of explaining what I’ve seen in other fields … let me make it real simple for you :

      Danny answers comments on posts he’s authored, I answer everything else … clear enough ?

      And thanks Steve, you too my friend 🙂

  39. WoW……sounds a wee bit narcissistic to moi.
    Thanks for the follow by the way and I expect you to read ALL of my posts and leave long detailed comments on each one from here on out. 😀

  40. [ Smiles ] I am actually bewildered by this; I didn’t know that there were people who unfollwed others because they took too long to comment. The thing is: you replied.

    Do they know that there are bloggers out there in the blogosphere who do not reply to any of their comments?

    Well, you can’t win them all.

    1. Yes I do know that I’ve left comments on their blogs … in fact it’s often larger blogs like my own, probably because they get too many comments … anyway, not to worry too much, it helps to channel it out, and readers get to learn and share a bit of my life … so it’s all good 🙂

  41. Wow, I must be making a whole lot of people angry at me too, since I do not always have time to answer all, nor look at every blog sent. One would do nothing more than that, meals, sleep, family, cleanliness and everything else would have to wait in order to satisfy the demands of your followers. Vey egotistic, if you ask me. I would not bother with such people, there will always be one that is offended or what ever. Let some steam out.

  42. Don, I draw the line with manipulation. If you manipulate me, I give you ONE chance at redemption. If you try it again. I cut you loose. Uh uh. The um “immature” behavior sometimes on here is annoying. xx

      1. So a lady with strength and charisma … but I already knew that Amy … ladies using their strengths for positivity, I have endless amount of time for 🙂

        As for prince charming … what about princess charming !

      2. Any way one looks at it, if one waits for rescue, that one will be waiting a long time. As for the princess … now I could use a strong woman FRIEND to be my ally. Anyone who is willing to pick up the Sword of Light with me, is welcome! ⚡️

      3. I’ve got a few ladies like that around me, probably you know most of the already … send me an email I could make a few suggestions … call in collaborative SEO lol …

      4. Sorry, Luv, B-U-S-Y today. Way behind on comments, and much to do in LIFE. As for the Ladies, I am meeting them slowly, actually, through Petals. We encourage one another!! FYI….I have a post I want to put up, but will I have the courage to? Is another question. It is under the category “ADULT”. Words came to do my RED Tulips justice. HOT. Whoa! Not today, though. Hehehehehehe…. *got my running sneaks on today* xx

      5. I do think I shall. At 11:11 last night, the “flowers” had me run for my pad and pen. And out flowed hot lava. O-LA-LA! You’ve just spurned me on. I believe Thursay will be the day. I have very special editing to do with my Tulips. xx

      6. LOL, that does sound racy, and probably you’ll find it’ll go better than expected … but there’s always those moments after you post where you think – did I really want to do that ? … I’ve bombed before, it happens, but at end of the day it’s your blog put what you want on it …

      7. Oh, Don, with shaking hands at times I’ve hit the publish button. It is usually those times, the posts do better then I think they will. This one the flowers spoke very insistently, and being what it is, some may think, “LadyP??” Yet to deny our sensual natures under the capstone LOVE would be denying a huge part of who we are. So as usual, I follow my heart, and I listen. Don’t worry. I will make sure you are aware when it is posted. You I do know, will enjoy it. I was stunned after it was written….

      8. I’ve had the same moment Amy, and yes it’s usually prior to my greatest triumphs … occasionally some of my dumbest moments … but you know what I know I’m gonna learn something either way …

      9. I can see … someone asked me recently in a FB group what makes a good blog post … many other answers … my answer “passion” … and you succeeding in surpassing my expectations with that one 🙂 cheers Don

      10. You can thank the “RED Tulips” for this one. I was dragged out of bed with words that were persistent to be written. And I wrote. Oh boy did I write. The tears came to my eyes in seeing the beauty set down before me. All I do, Don, I do with passion. That to me is the secret to happiness in life. Go with gusto and a smile. Embrace everything with JOY and in Love. Pour yourself into what you do. And create beauty and LIFE, not death, as you do. My passion had cooled, for many a year, and recently has been reawakened. It shows in my work, it shows in my photography. Your appreciation of my work touches me deeply for I know you only like quality art. Thank you, Don, for a very high compliment. I will treasure your words, keeping them tucked safely in my Heart. xx Amy

      11. You’re welcome 🙂

        I do love that you’re passionate, and I do love that you’re channelling your energy in such lovely ways, those are traits of a master …

        Not entirely convinced on the “death” bit, I do seem fairly able to create beauty and life too, but then again I don’t know everything… or may have misunderstood !

      12. Seeing I am on a break … yep, in my gardens, hence why I am so quiet today. What I meant about the “death” remark. OK. When a person is living in fear, not fulfilling his potential, but allowing fear to reign, thereby destroying what is rightfully that person’s to live, that is a situation I term “death”. By not living life ALIVE but on the other hand, living, going through the motions, cut off from any real emotion that which is based on JOY and LOVE, that person is living death. I know many people like this, Don. They have bowed to fear, afraid to take chances to at least strive for their dreams and they just exist. Is that better? Sometimes I say things that I understand, or I am “famous” for my one liners or philosophical sayings, which can be vague and are rightfully so. I want people to THINK and come to their own personal conclusion what I am talking about. I don’t like others telling me how to do, or what to do, or how to think, so I allow room for that in others in a lot of my writings. Yet, when someone asks, like you have, I try to explain simply so that person can jump from what I say and go A-HA! Yes, I DO get it! *giggling* Now that I have said more then a mouthful ….. Ya know what I mean, JellyBean? Tee Hee ….. One half hour more, then back inside to feed my cats, feed me, put my feet up for a while …. this stuff is hard work! I need a back rub darn it! (smile) Off and going …. hoping you are having a better day today!!! xx Amy

      13. LOL, it’s an interesting hypothesis … personally I’ve yet to come across a being that didn’t experience fear … fear is a necessary part of being alive, and I would probably argue that one who let go of fear isn’t living more already accepted death … so dead already … interestingly my conclusion would be the exact opposite, fear is more alive … for me fear gives me warning signals, which sometimes I need to pay attention to, sometimes it’s a false alarm … when crossing the road and I see a car speeding towards me that I hadn’t noticed, I experience fear, I get off the road, thus I’m more alive and not dead because I didn’t care in my fearlessness…

        One could get into the semantics of what fear is and is not, and this might be a different conversation based on precise definitions … personally I’m of the holistic point of view, not looking to eradicate or let go of fear, more embrace it as one of the gifts that “god” gave me … if fear stops me getting run over by a car or from spending all my money and being broke, then I’m happy to have it … beings I think use fear for staying alive, and staying alive is staying alive, not dying … being alive is the purpose of being alive … being free of fear isn’t the purpose of being alive … also doesn’t mean that because one experiences fear in one moment that one can’t experience joy and love in another … I think that’s called a dynamic emotional range …

        As for fear that goes into repression of oneself, then I’d possibly agree with you on that, within limits … sometimes it’s necessary to repress ourselves out of respect for others or for our own self-preservation … so again arguably fear could be justified and reasonable here too …

        I’ve read quite a lot of spiritual books from different persuasions and was close to woman whom I’d describe as “enlightened” for quite some time … she seemed to think she was fearless, but I saw her jump out of her skin to a loud noise – frightened out of her wits even just for an instant …

        Largely the conclusion I’ve come to is anyone saying they have no fear is either lying or isn’t aware of it or has a different definition that me or worst of all in denial …

        I could be wrong I don’t know everything, anything after all is possible with Charisma, and I do learn something new every day … but that’s my take …

        Enjoy the cat feeding 🙂



      14. Wow, Don, thank YOU! Yes, I do have a healthy dose of fear for if I did not I would be lying to you. I have “instincts” that push the fear button, alerting me to danger. Now, if I didn’t have that, I could land in a heap of trouble. Fear IS healthy for it keeps things in balance and keeps things in check. I was talking more of the fact, when people allow fear to steal their very lives away from them. I’ll give an example. Someone who is very talented artistically, deliberately does not use that Gift because it is this person’s perception no money will be able to be earned from that Gift. Instead of using this Gift for the sheer pleasure of doing so, this person suppresses that Gift and in so doing, a part of that person really does “die”. Being fully alive means to embrace all of one’s innate natural Talents, and even if those Talents cannot be expressed in one way, find another way to do so. Another example of this is me. I wanted to be a ballet dancer. I never got that chance. But now I pour those emotions into my photography and see the flowers dance with me in my heart. That is what I express through my photography. I am not actually doing ballet, but yet I have found another outlet to express myself that satisfies that Talent I possess.

        I have a very keen sense of fear. I don’t fear “fear” but I respect it. And when it does rise, I know there is danger around me, and for me to be aware of that danger.

        Interesting conversation we are having here, Mr. Don. Thank you. I like the way you think. I also don’t believe that those who claim they are enlightened, are, for if they were, they would no longer be in this realm. It is UNhealthy to claim you don’t fear anything. Fear was given to us to use as a safety mechanism. It is all a part of being human. Now I have shared more of my thoughts with you. (smile) xx

      15. Interesting conversation for sure 🙂

        Great so we’re still on the same page, usually I clarify before arguing, I find it saves an argument often … not entirely convinced with the it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission … often best to use wisdom to make that decision !

        So look this is the line that I got – “And create beauty and LIFE, not death, as you do.”

        Now that the way I read that is that you are saying something about me – the “as you do”. That’s the bottom line why I pulled you up on it. It kinda comes across as pride, like “I’m all brightness and light, and you’re not”. Pride generally says more about the sayer than the receiver as it goes.

        Obviously still being a unenlightened being, that still stings, but I have enough respect for you to ask you about it first.



      16. That has to be a typo on my part. Usually I reread what I type but being in a hurry today I did not. OMG! No I would NEVER say death as you do. *forehead slap* I think I was saying that so many do not live LIFE but instead create fear, versus Love. I see YOU as living juicily, vivaciously, passionately, doing what YOU love! I would never come OFF as being better then anyone, holy moly. I really really do apologize for any confusion. I always honor and respect the other person, no matter what I “see” or “sense”. I encourage and I try to convert something negative into a positive. It doesn’t always work but it usually does. As for pride, I get squirmy in my seat about it. I don’t like the lime light on me, and in fact, everything I do here at Petals I want the viewer to gain pleasure. When I get complimented which I do, I say a simple thank you and move on. I won’t put myself as “I am better then you” for I will not say that ever. We are all walking our paths and living life which can be extremely difficult at times, and who am I to say “No, you are wrong?” I listen to all perspectives, and I let my heart guide me as to what to say. Sometimes I have to wait because “ego” wants to jump in and get nasty. I won’t do nasty either, yet I will stick up for myself in a way that expresses my feelings, but not down and dirty. There is enough of that in this world, and I refuse to contribute to it. Oh, Don, I really feel terrible. I hope you believe me I honestly did not mean what it sounded to be. I am very humbled by all that is happening at Petals, and thrilled at the same time. To know I am bringing beauty and truth and love into this world, is a “high” for me. Yet, I will not do pride. I won’t act like HEY MAN I am doing this great thing and look at me! NO! My Life Lessons have pounded pride out of me. I’ve had one heck of a difficult life, but out of it, has come this gentleness and this love, and I was shown how to love myself for who I am.

        I hope now we are on the same page. Thanks for being honest with me and thank you for “challenging me”. I didn’t understand the “why” behind it, but I wrote from my heart in response to you. Except for that darn typo. Sorry about that. xx Amy

      17. OK Amy, it’s OK, understood … I’ve got a french lady who I put her comment through google translate, I didn’t understand it asked her to explain, and she sent the same thing back with “good” in front and “have a nice day” … now I took it that she was being rude in the first instance, asked her to explain because I didn’t understand why, and she’s come back and said the same thing … I replied with a slightly rude reply, and now she’s acting like she didn’t do anything wrong …

        One of those days I guess, crossed wires … it happens … I’m happy enough, need to go to bed now … gn … don

      18. NOW I know what I MEANT to write …. “And create beauty and LIFE, not death, as MANY do.” I could have sworn that is what I wrote. Eeeks. That is a big lesson for me, because when I am in a hurry I don’t go back to read what I wrote. Now I will. I never want something like this to happen again. And as for wisdom, that goes for saying, it has a lot to do with life experience, IF you are listening and learning. Petals is a means for me to share my life hard earned wisdom for those whose ears are ready to hear. This is the role that those who are over 50 SHOULD be in, yet, this world pushes our elderly away, putting the stamp of useless on them. Why? Because this world worships youth. I read somewhere that a young woman should do the child bearing and an older woman should do the child rearing. I happen to agree and some cultures actually live in this fashion.

        Anyways…..I’m off for a while, to soak the aches of today’s gardening away. I LOVE the way your mind words and I LOVE the way you challenged me. Couldn’t for the life of me understand it, like I said, but it was a very moving conversation. I really LIKE using my mind, and thinking things out. And I see the same in you. xx

      19. OK hun, it’s no worries … I do pull people up on matters of respect … and I enjoyed chatting, made me think too, although would have preferred to have had the conversation under slightly different circumstances 🙂

        So alls well that ends well 🙂



      20. I got caught up but now am ready to run out the door. Just wanted to comment on the email … these women are committed bringing Love and Light into this world with their work. I know what it takes to keep Petals running and with traffic at a premium. I know I am not able to fit something else into my life, especially now with the reopening of my gardens. Weather is giving me a break, thank goodness, but now I have catch up to do inside the house. I know you are big on collaboration, and I think it is a great idea for in number is strength. I “see” a network beginning to form, just with the association of those that I speak of with me and others. We know we are here, and we know that we can depend on one another. It’s quite beautiful to see unfolding. Now, I have to *running sneakers* syndrome. Hehehehehehe …. The Flower Lady.

      21. Thanks Amy, I think I’m alright, bit rough around the edges maybe … do my best to be a positive influence … most of the time LOL … cheers don

      22. That was last week. Tee hee. Me this week. I wrote a post telling how I HIT MY DENTIST. I’m definitely changing. That man is lucky I didn’t kick him. It was serious pain when he hit a nerve with that needle! ….

      23. Go read what I just sent you. I GOT IT. *tongue in cheek* Dental pain is bad. I just hear a drill and I get ill to my stomach. Sorry about your trial. 24 crowns? Good grief! Plus 3 implants? *faints* That’s pain.

      24. Worth it in the end I have the nicest set of teeth that I could want, expensive and painful, and would be some things I would do differently if I did it again … but almost perfectly happy with my new teeth 🙂

      25. LMAO!!!! I got it! OMG! I am laughing SO HARD! And who, I would like to know, told you, I am “a diamond in the rough?” What have you put in your coffee besides sugar and cream??? ROFLMAO!!!!!

      26. LOL … finally … and I can make my own decisions, it’s a kind of a way of giving a compliment and then taking some back … teasing, in a nice way 🙂

  43. It seems the “rules” of the blogging game keep changing, more and more. I try to respond to everyone I can but lose track,and I don’t have nearly the number to keep up with. Forget them.

  44. The internet magnifies pettiness.

    My daughter was only saying last night that she has someone as a friend on FB (she has never added random people only people she knows in real life a rule imposed as a child and one she self imposes now an adult). Anyway this ‘friend’ is someone she works with who added her when she first started and to appear sociable and keen to be a part of the team she accepted. Now, 2 years later it is more than clear that the ‘friend’ hates my daughter but she said the crazy thing is if she deletes her from FB the ‘friend’ will flip and regard it as the ultimate insult when really it’s just my daughter reasoning that you don’t talk to me in person and when you do you are rude and abrasive, you go out of your way to leave me out of things which bothers other people more than it comes close to bothering me so why do you want to know about my life? Deleting or unfriending is not worth the backlash so posts are hidden from her instead but the situation is crazy. How can you ‘friend’ someone you don’t like? What’s wrong with people?

    1. Thankfully I don’t have that much to do with FB, so that situation isn’t one I’m familiar with. However I see and understand what you explained, it’s difficult for your daughter to get rid of this person because they work together and actually the person isn’t really “a friend” … I think probably that she maybe should consider unfriending and taking the flak until it blows over, provided that’s not goiing to put her job at risk … one thing I don’t really like about FB is the concept of “friend”, most of the people on my FB aren’t “friends”, most like “acquaintances” and it is often the same in social groups, they are “acquaintances” … so there’s a trick being played here by facebook to make people think that people are closer than they actually are …

      Twitter and wordpess use “following”, and Google+ circles which is similar to following, it for me more accurately describes the nature of online relationship, not perfect but in my opinion better than FB …



      1. So true, a word can make all of the difference. She’s moving to a new job soon so she will probably have a cull then, I think she will probably stop even using it, it’s just a great way for her uni group to share info and stay in touch but she finishes her degree in 2 weeks so she might just deactivate.

      2. For sure … the way I look at FB outside of family is it’s people promoting themselves, it’s superficial and the people aren’t really friends … for family I can see the use to stay in touch and share photos etc … only issue is that FB is so massive and virtually everyones on it, it may make sense to use it for social groups … just my take, and probably best to ask more experienced FB people as I don’t use it any more than I have to …

  45. I’m new to blogging, so I guess I haven’t got to grips with ‘comment etiquette’ yet, but I just figured that it didn’t really matter how long it took to reply… Or even that a reply was explicitly required no matter the occasion… To be honest though, you sound busy with your comment overload so take this one as a freebie… No reply required 🙂

    1. Well some bloggers do reply some don’t … some reply in seconds others can take weeks … so as for normal practice it’s up to you to decide on what’s best … I like to reply to everything as I think it builds relationship, and I often have fun and learn things in the interaction …

  46. You should feel bad about how long it’s taken you to reply. Why, I am ticked that you haven’t responded to this before I hit the “post” button. (Sarcasm, in case it didn’t come off that way)

  47. Life happens – I’m always so late with things that I really feel bad, but most people/friends are really cool. Sorry you have such nasties – I suppose that when you have such a popular blog you’re going to get the horribles – we still think you’re the coolest charismatic guy though – if that helps.

  48. What a shallow individual to make demands on another person’s time. Not only that, their demand is so incredibly selfish and arrogant. They must have fallen asleep in science class, or they would know that the world revolves around the sun, not them. There are times when it behooves a person to be a bit selfish with their own time, so that they can take care of themselves and be sure to be in tip top shape to take care of everything else in their lives. But to be selfish about other people’s time, is infantile, rude, and makes that person the epitome of pathetic.

      1. HaHa! I learned the ability to insult a person with fancy language intertwined with disdain from my dear mother. She could insult someone with a smile on their face, and have them begging for more. She was a sight to behold. Cheers. 🙂

      2. I don’t know if you ever watched the show Designing Women, but my mother was a bit like Julia Sugarbaker, except that she wasn’t southern.

      3. LOL, I’ll have to take your word, I hardly ever watch TV and usually it’s movies … I got the idea and have met ladies with similar abilities, my granny is pretty good at it 🙂

  49. It reminds me of someone I was “friends” with on Facebook – I sent her a copy of a petition regarding koala bears in Australia and promptly got a response that I’d “spammed” her, and she was such a busy lady with all her e-mails and, of course, so important, so she was “unfriending” me. I actually hadn’t got a clue who she was, which probably says a lot about the whole friendship rubbish on FB, and was glad to see the back of her. She actually had the nerve to try to resume the whole “friendship” thing so I told her to bug off These idiots probably exist to make you realise how great most people really are!

    1. Thanks lovely-crazy-crone … totally hear you … I keep forgetting my improv status concept, that often helps me to demystify what people are doing … basically my moron wanted to raise his or her status, presumably because they starting feeling low status because I hadn’t replied in what is a timely manner to them … either way, it’s pettiness on a plate 🙂

  50. LOL. When you have a lot of followers, then you are bound to have some of them like this. It’s like having a lot of children and hoping they’ll all act or behave alike, you know what I mean. So, just take them on your strides and ride on. I wouldn’t say he/she was “petty”. Rather, I would say he/she was emotional. They liked your blog so much they felt like being a part of you already!

  51. I’ve always been grateful when people reply to me. Never really expected it all that much. I usually comment because I’m moved by what another person has gone to great effort to share or produce, and I want to say that. If people are going to unfollow you and miss all the beautiful photos…their loss. I look forward to your posts.

  52. This is so interesting to me. I’m new to the blogging world. I guess it’s just like the other world out there – insecure folks do anything to get external validation. It must suck to go through life needing others to confirm you are worthy. Be flattered that these unfortunate folks think so highly of you that a simple ‘thanks’ from you can make or break their day/life.

  53. A need for instant gratification? Or maybe, I don’t have a smart phone but I know most people do, maybe some people just assume all people have instant access to the internet everywhere they go.

  54. I can’t believe the self-importance of some people. First, that my life would revolve around getting on a computer and using some of that precious time to reply to his comment, 2nd, that I’m supposed to care that he’s unfollowing me! Why, again, would I care about someone this rude?

  55. As one of my mentors always says. If they are offended by something I do or say, then my message wasn’t meant for them, and we keep it moving. There are, I’m sure a number of people who are not the least bit bothered by the timing of a blog reply. (me being one) Keep doing you, I always enjoy your posts!

    Reply not required. LOL


    1. “If they are offended by something I do or say, then my message wasn’t meant for them, and we keep it moving.”
      To which I add: “I keep it moving anyhow.”

      Perfectly defines my blogging philosophy Marci.

  56. Lol….there is word for this…emotionally immature…:) Anyway, Ive been wondering, is WordPress reader seriously the quickest way to get through all your feeds? I have been trying Bloglovin’ because I fear I am missing some of my favourite blogs, however, I ain’t lovin Bloglovin’ that much because I never know who even knows that I have indeed read their posts or not…mmmm…don’t sweat the small stuff people, its never anything personal xxx

    1. I’d be inclined to follow them directly on their blog, that way they know that you’re following them, often people like to follow you back. Then use bloglovin as a “backup” just a place to read, but make sure likes and comments are coming through as the real you so the blogger knows it’s you …

      And yes I think the old one is “childish” or “petulant” 🙂

  57. Really?! How moronic – is that a word? It is now – snorts. We all do have a life outside of blogville. Sometimes life comes first – WOW – can’t believe I said that – double snorts. Hogs and snout kisses my friend. XOXO – Bacon

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