It’s a shame we have to deal with insincere people. However inauthenticity is a fact of life, the only way I’ve found to deal with effectively is through awareness. Sometimes that awareness comes from wise friends sharing their experience, sometimes in life first hand, sometimes from books, movies and sometimes it’s a matter of knowing thyself. Forewarned is fore-armed.
Simply – you can’t kid a kidder
I recently blogged about people wanting compliments ‘confirmed’, whilst I was critical of the asker, I understand the reasons behind it – insincere people giving compliments in order to try to get something. Yesterday I blogged about cynics, well actually people who’ve gone beyond cynicism into negativity – “Don’t Let The Bastards Grind You Down”
Today I’m blogging about crocodile tears. I’m sharing a story a friend told me about when he was a boy, some might relate to it.
I’d been called to the head teachers office at my school of maybe 1000 students. I was in my early teens. I and a couple of girls about the same age were waiting to be summoned for a ticking off by the balding idiot who spat when he talked, who ran the school. How he was a good role model, I have no clue, but that’s another story.
I saw one of the girls crying, and felt, I guess, compassion towards her. I asked her what was wrong and her answer surprised me, a lot, my jaw dropped and stayed like that for a while.
I said “what’s wrong”, and she said “nothing, I’m crying so that when I go in he’ll take it easier on me”.
Fair enough, honesty like that is rare, I can’t fault her for telling the truth. She also taught me a very valuable lesson that day, one I will never forget.
This is the story as my friend told it to me, some years ago 😀
Crocodile Tears – The origin of the saying I understand is from actual crocodiles. Apparently they irrigate their eyes “tears”, whilst they are devouring their prey. So not a sincere expression of remorse, sadness, grief or fear, considering they’ve just killed something and are eating it.
One can’t criticise the girl from the school, because she told the truth and taught my friend something incredibly valuable. High praise to her actually.
I will always be thankful to my friend for sharing the story. Sadly, I do often see this strategy employed by people everywhere, all the time. Doesn’t impress me much, to be honest, especially when it’s employed on me. It’s a lie and a manipulation.
Tied in with “The Boy Who Cried ‘Wolf'”, it’s easy to see why people become cynics. Fake-victims like this do really give all victims a bad name, even genuine ones. Which is very sad, when there are people who genuinely deserve our compassion. It’s my hope that sharing this would enable some to be able to see who the genuine ones are.
Also it’s sad that so many people are taken in by these fakers, which is why I’m writing this post, to raise awareness.
I understand more complex psychological explanations, but they are beyond the scope of this writing.
I’ll leave you with a quote :
“I begin to fear, lest his humility … be a counterfeit humility, and his tears crocodile tears.”
Edmund Grindal, Archbishop of York and of Canterbury, 1563
This is said to be the origin of “crocodile tears” idiom.
The positives that come out of knowing this – being aware of someone who’s lying about their hurt, in order to get something, would serve one well in life. It’s possible that it would free one from being manipulated in this way. It’s also possible that knowing this would enable one to see it going on and not buy into the ‘crocodile tears’.
Happy blogging – Don’t Let The Bastards Grind You Down 😀
Resources & Sources
Crocodile Eye – MorgueFile
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Warm regards, Don Charisma