“Thinking Too Much” – Don Charisma’s Opinion

I have had this phrase used on me more than once. Whilst in a stressed or confused state I don’t find it very helpful. My usual response is something like “You arrogant idiot, I’m not thinking too much, I’m thinking just the right amount”.

The phrase is usually mean’t in a helpful way. sometimes I certainly have to admit that I do think too much.

I’ve noticed that when I’ve got an unresolved difficulty, one that I perceive to be serious, I can go to bed and get what would be considered a long good night’s sleep. However I wake up in the morning, with something not quite right. Mainly I’m more tired than when I went to bed !

Eventually what I realised is that part of thoughts are churning and churning and looking for a solution to whatever the perceived problem is. I also realised that actually I’ve sometimes been almost awake the whole time.

This is one scenario I would describe as thinking too much.


Or I guess all of us know the one where we’re excited about something and go to bed but the mind just keeps on churning over perhaps good thoughts about what’s coming up the next day. Or could be we’re doing something we’re dreading the next day and the mind is churning over all of the possible problems that could happen.

Again this is a scenario I would describe as thinking too much.

A more dubious situation that it’s been suggested to me that I’m thinking too much is when someone’s trying to sell me something. Dubious because it’s very likely a pacifier to get me to drop my questions or the things I’m uncertain about, buy the goods and the saleman/woman gets paid. Almost certainly I’d walk away from a salesman/woman who said this to me.

Lastly I thought maybe it was a religious/cultural thing as I’ve heard it more since I’ve been in Thailand. However I’m also noticing it in American films, so I’m not so sure now it’s an Eastern thing ?

I could go on all day talking about this. As an experiment, let’s just see what you guys think … rather than me thinking too much or writing too much !

Warm regards

Don Charisma

Resources & Sources

Girl Thinking About Chess Move – morgueFile

Notes for commenters:

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Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma


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66 thoughts on ““Thinking Too Much” – Don Charisma’s Opinion

  1. Important things need to be thinked but the problem is when you’re focussed only in it and you forget the rest. You think too much because you don’t find a solution? Or maybe because you are discussing with yourself? If you’re so stressed with your problem then your mind is blocked and it can’t find the best solution. If you’re more relaxed, your mind work better. In any way, that’s the solution for me. I hope helps you.

  2. I’m always told that I “think too much”… Ever the curse of an analytical mind. But really, what is “thinking too much”? Unless you are trying to come to a different outcome of a situation and therefore continue to think on it, but then to extend that thought isn’t it said that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results (Einstein)? Is this applicable to over thinking?
    I’m in agreement with curiousinhabit, action leads to avoidance of stagnance… or at least onto a different path of thought.. More thinking…
    I happily think too much, I think 🙂
    Thank you for the thought provoking read (alright maybe I’m trying to be funny now haha).
    A pleasure to read as always.

  3. I, too is an over thinker. But then I have noticed that over thinking ruins us, It ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is.

  4. As an individual who also gets accused of “thinking too much” or “overthinking” I truly enjoyed this article. I actually have a draft post cooking about the same concept 🙂 I find in addition to what you said about the phrase usually intended to be helpful, it’s used a lot in condemnation as well. I find that when I’m thinking critically about a situation, that I deem important enough to give considerable thought to (and am sometimes a bit sensitive about how others involved are so apt to easily blow it off or not consider it thoughtfully), someone will often attribute my “thinking too much” to me being a woman often. Which pisses me off to no end! So I appreciate this topic being covered by a male 🙂 thanks Don!

    1. You are very welcome … and what you talking about, women do think too much … only kidding LOL …

      Happy to have given some insight into, and agree with you, so nothing to add 🙂

  5. Interesting comparison at the end…I know in some Eastern philosophies there’s the idea of “stilling” the mind to really observe what’s before you…I know when I’m agitated my mind can either race all over or get fixated on one thing like a broken record, and it’s easy to miss things in both those frames of mind.

    As for hearing it in American movies? I’ll be blunt, we have a definite anti-intellectual streak here from ostracising smart kids in school as nerds to politicians who use loaded vocabulary like calling education “elitist” or accusing intellectuals of being “socialist” or whatever else they perceive as unsavory at the moment. (DISCLAIMER: I personally do not perceive socialists as “unsavory” , readers in other countries, it’s just a general viewpoint here in the U.S..)

    1. Thanks, and yes I’ve studied some of the eastern philosophies a little, so aware of the empty mind kind of ideas … and you’ve very well described the processes of racing or broken record, very well put … I won’t hold you to unsavory … and thanks for filling me in on the dumbing down mentality …

  6. Some have said that to me as well. Maybe it’s because I think about anything and everything that strikes me as curious, strange, fascinating and even hysterical. Weird that I can go to sleep thinking about something and wake up six hours later still thinking about it. However, that ability has allowed me to solve problems in my original trade of electronic repair. I guess that’s why I sleep on it when I have a problem to solve.

    What’s really cool is that I now use that ‘technique’ to solve problems in fiction writing.

    So, no, I can’t see how anyone might ‘think too much’. That is, unless that person is hesitating to do something that they really should be doing instead of thinking about it.

    I expect whether one is thinking too much is very much something that lies only with that person. However, it can keep one awake, just like a good book. Thinking like that just isn’t nearly as fulfilling.

  7. Has it ever happened to you that you’d be overworked about something and thinking deeply about it in yoyr regular workday to the point that sometimes people talk to you or salute you and you never notice it and go on doing what you’re doing absentmindedly? ?? It happens to me all the time and people accuse me of being arrogant and disrespectful for ignoring them while the truth is I would be so consumed with my thoughts and I never do it purposely!

    1. In a nutshell, yes ! … I find people are usually thinking about themselves if they think you’re being arrogant or disrespectful, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much 🙂

  8. Oh, I am not sure I should have stumbled on this today – I have some things I need to DO…and thinking TOO much…stops me…depending on what it is I am thinking too much about…:D
    And look at that – it DID end up a post in itself…YAY! Will ping back dear.

  9. To me “You think too much” is associated with “pressure” to accept something like an opinion, a rule…and/or after “you think too much”, comes: “…just get on with it!” 😀

  10. I usually find that when most people say “You think too much,” they usually mean something more along the lines of “You don’t do enough.” If they think they’re being helpful, they’re being obliviously condescending, playing quack psychologist.

    So my reaction to that critique is pretty much the same as yours 🙂

  11. I really had to think about this. 😉 Lets see do I calculate every conceivable probability beforehand? Have I re-typed this 4 times already trying to decide what to say? Thinking about thinking makes me think to much.

    Great post seriously could have been me.

  12. Is “thinking too much” the same as obsessing about something? I would rather be productive and “think” I am thinking too much than to admit I am obsessing which to me is worse. Thinking to me is doing something I need to do to decide on something where obsessing is replaying something over and over in my head in indecision. Just my random thoughts!!

    1. Sounds very plausible and yes could be obsessing, which is why I put it out for comment … and yes I’d rather be thinking and productive, rather than worrying if I was an obsessive … actually love the way you put that !

      1. …. sounds torturous !

        Yes I heard latin was good for those who wanted to learn other euro languages, my grandfather was into french, although I have a suspicion he secretly liked french ladies, and I think my granny knew it but was happy about it because it made him happy … an innocent’ish interest if that makes sense 🙂

      2. Yes Latin is good for French, Italian, Spanish and Portuguese to mention a few. Greek, funny enough, is good for Russian and some slavic languages.
        Mandarin is good for a lot of the Asiatic languages. Funny how the languages share certain ideas. Like the word for mother.

  13. I do this. My daughter calls it over thinking, trying to work out things I can’t possibly know yet, ends that are not possible to fathom and possibilities too wide to focus on. She says I’m “inpatient to know everything” and that I should do what she does, sleep well and wait to find out if it’s not something I can influence the outcome of. Easier said than done.

    1. For sure, sounds like she’s got a handle on it, and happy enough … I’d say with commitments come responsibility and that entails planning and figuring things out … if you’re a mum then you have commitments … I think you could probably measure it with things like the number of keys you have 🙂

  14. I think we think too much too–And I think our modern society perpetuates it whether we like it or not (or are even aware of it as an issue). But how can we not think too much when we are bombarded with the amount of information we are bombarded with? And now access to such is at our fingertips. Stopping thinking too much is a skill that needs to be learned and that takes time and patience, and the willingness to just sit down, be still, and be quiet.

    1. Bravo, absolutely … I’d probably bring in the ADD ADHD thing, is it any wonder with that little box keeps flashing at the top of my screen that we find it difficult to concentrate ? … I’ve had to do due to quantity my comments now in a batch once a day … it means that I’m a lot more able to concentrate 🙂

      1. ADD/ADHD definitely. Trained within the tradition of depth psychology, I see such “illnesses” as symptomatic of a “dis-ease” within the collective unconscious. I think the rise in such cases of ADD and ADHD is symptomatic of my aforementioned bombardment of images/information. We aren’t given the time to let something sink it before we are given the next. Unless we value pausing ourselves…

      2. Couldn’t agree more my friend, although I don’t know that I fully understand the collective unconscious I have an inkling I understand 🙂 …

  15. Are you an INTJ? Over-thinking is often a prescribed character “flaw”. I prefer to say over-used skill in certain situations (and that’s coming from an INTJ). Does your “over-thinking” lead to analysis paralysis? There’s a cure for that…action…at times it’s better to make a slightly imperfect action than none at all. And when your mind is focused on discriminating between all the possible scenarios and the “best” way to handle them, you could be missing out on key points of information that will allow you to hone in on the most likely scenarios….or maybe….or maybe I’ll stop here, perhaps I am overthinking this….;)
    Thanks for the post! Good to know I’m not the only one spinning my wheels 🙂

    1. LOL, never thought about INTJ or heard of before, so I don’t know … action is good, often solves you are right on that …

      And yes my friend not the only one spinning the wheels … always happy for some extra input, provided it’s polite !

  16. Yep, I get this! not often but always when it is said, deeply.
    And generally when said I take it as not very helpful.
    The brain is a marvellous tool. Good sleep is the greatest healer.
    Learning meditation techniques is valuable.
    When planning a project, it is vital to be able to work through the possible procedures.
    Knowing when you cannot know the outcome… is the most important aspect.
    Thanks for asking!

  17. I usually don’t overthink a given situation, but I do tend to perseverate on things that have happened- interactions with people, conversations, etc. Thinking too much can be a good thing- helps us work things out, look at things from different perspectives. As long as it doesn’t turn obsessive I guess!

    1. For sure, and I very much do the same thing … sometimes it’s very useful to think/feel things through, but sometimes I think I get stuck in an endless loop when I can’t find “the answer” … and actually I couldn’t explain how I get out of the endless loop, it’s a process that I’ve developed over time … patented Don Charisma technology LOL

  18. Thinking too much, or critical thinking? Some people don’t understand the difference, and will often criticize you for trying to arrive at a resolution that fits your logic better. I do a lot of critical thinking, along with experiments to add data and continue dissecting the information obtained, in order to arrive at more precise conclusions.

  19. How inspiring! I often get accused of thinking too much. It’s true. I am really grateful to have a brain that is capable of thinking about others and – yes – worrying about them. I fret about my impact on others and want to keep it all positive. I wish to help everyone and to be good. I am trying to be mindful, meditate and live in the present moment. Yet, my yearning to make a difference and my going over the day, each evening, often leaves me with concerns as I replay the words of others. No, I really can’t change anyone except myself. Yes, I need to be my best. Surely these are the capacities of thoughtful, loving and intelligent people? And love and concern and creativity may well look like obsessiveness and over-thinking to others? If I want to be my best, I need to keep changing and improving and that’s very hard work. But the rewards are immense and – short of a lobotomy – I will keep doing my very best to live well and wisely. Life; it always ends badly, doesn’t it? So let’s use all those capacities and strive while we are here.

    1. Was that an example of thinking too much … then yes, I could write all of that … as to how to respond, well that may take me while to digest LOL

      I think there’s many paradoxes that we have to come to terms with, accepting that they are paradoxes, quietens things down I find … one can’t help everyone, start from inside and work your way out, do what you can do … Do you need to do your best all the time ? Do you need to work hard all the time ?

      Does life end badly ? Not convinced that death is bad ?

      Most important paradox of all (probably) is being vs doing, that’s a good place to find a balance …

      Not sure if that was helpful, it’s been a very busy day !

      1. Great points! I meditate and take time out for me. Being – just being – seems to help doing, doesn’t it? I understand the point you are making about death, but losing people and missing them is a hard part of life.

      2. For sure hun, offering a little, is all, I’m not perfect was a big post a couple of days ago … Death we all have to come to terms with, because it’s certain that we will pass away, at some point, it’s said that we’re happier when we’ve accepted it and don’t think about it too much … Personally I’m not still looking forward to it, but I’m not an enlightened being LOL … and for sure losing people we care for is tough, I’d probably put that in it’s own category, because we can lose people we care about without them dying … my personal experience is there’s an emotional process to go through, and it takes as long as it takes, letting the process happen is the only way to speed it along … ultimately we have to let go … but as with I think forgiveness we have to let go, but don’t always have to forget … I still have fond memories of departed loved ones, but it’s less emotionally of a trouble to me … feeling grief long term is not what departed loved ones would have wanted for one anyway, they’d want us to be happy probably, and let go as soon as possible … but hey as I said, I’m no expert hun, do your own due diligence, and do what’s right for you …

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