Dear Jimmy – Don Charisma’s Opinion


I have a long time female friend who’s dutch, more than 15 years we’ve known each other. She’s the salt of the earth, one of the most likeable people I know. A real ambassador’ese of Dutch and everything Dutch.

So I’m always a little bemused by Dutch men I’ve come across on WordPress who seem to be utter sociopathic trolls, it beggars belief. Don’t get me wrong – I’m sure there are some cool Dutch guys out there, happy for you guys to prove me wrong. Do make yourselves known, before I end up reaching a hopefully wrong conclusion!

I closed the comments on my home page and about page, not because of all the lovely charismatic people who leave comments for me there all the time. But for morons like Jimmy who seem to have had the charismatic part of their personality removed – perhaps it’s not enough love from the mother or perhaps they are bitter for another reason, kids wouldn’t play with them in playground ? Wouldn’t like to comment, I’m not a psychologist.

Jimmy seems to feel the need to spew his inner angst all over my comments, with the expectation that I’ll publish it. I dunno where you got the idea that I would Jimmy, I tend to just laugh or use this kind of stuff to enhance my blogging. That’s the only charismatic way I can deal with it, apart from spam queuing it.

Trolls-R-Us 2014

troll-pixbay-18240-DonCharisma.org-1024LE

So here’s Jimmy’s comment and if I could have been bothered, what my replies would have been :

How blogging seems to work

Indeed ! And you’re telling me after 2 years at it !

I ‘run’ a Dutch blog since it’s my native language and I’m better at expressing my thoughts and feelings this way. Obviously it really narrows my chance at getting followers and/or view(er)s.

If you want more followers you’ve got to respond to as many blogs as possible, this is the way to get exposure. There seems to be a trade going on: “I follow you, you follow me”.

So it’s a blog just for Dutch people, so then you’re a racist ? I’ve been using Babelfish for decades and Google translate more recently, I can read pretty much anything in pretty much any language. So not understanding why this would limit your chance of getting followers. Which leads me back to the start of this paragraph, you’re a racist. Or at best a big pessimist.

“I follow you, you follow me” … horseshit … I’ve never followed a blog expecting the blogger to follow me back. If they like my blog and want to follow me, then good. If not, then also good. It’s all the same for me. There’s no forcing someone to like something, they like or they don’t, it’s subjective and up to them, and nothing to do with me.

I’m really oblivious to the real ‘goal’ of having a blog.

You have no goal, no dream, no purpose in life ? I find that hard to believe to be honest, but up to you if you want to randomly drift from one troll episode to the next … each to their own … idle hands and all that …

Also doesn’t surprise me that you’d blame other people for your problems, when you don’t have the courage to set a direction in your life and get on with it. It’s easy to blame others, hard to take responsibility for yourself and get the fuck on with it. That’s life, either take control of your life, or it’ll seem like others are in control. Blame doesn’t generally fix anything. Hard work and effort quite often does.

It seems to me the quality doesn’t matter, better blogs don’t have more followers. What it seems to be about? Selling yourself, like a cheap whore, the cheaper the better. As cheaply as possible, to as many people as possible.

Quality doesn’t matter ? You must be kidding, I’ve spent days/weeks on some of most popular posts, really you’re just being rude whether you know it or not. Weeks/months/years I’ve put into the content on my blog, so I do take umbrage on that fella. Not feeling any empathy from you, it’s all about you, you, you.

Better blogs don’t have more followers ? … horseshit … I know blogs with a hand-full of followers that are awesome, and ones that have 250000 or more followers that are awesome … there’s no correlation between followers and how good a blog is or isn’t. IT’S THE CHARISMA OF THE PERSON BEHIND THE BLOG THAT COUNTS – CLEARLY THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON’T POSSESS JIMMY.

AND you’re pissed off with the way communities and social life goes, you shouldn’t have to present yourself in a positive way, after all, you’re special aren’t you Jimmy, so people should just adore you for you being you ? How old are you, five ? A bit narcissistic Jimmy …

Some random idiot followed me today. I wanted to know why this person was interested in my blog, seems the fucker doesn’t even speak Dutch. Do I follow back? Of course I don’t. Selling out makes you a good blogger, good enough to award yourself with the most influential blogger award.

So now you’re calling me a “random idiot”, not very nice Jimmy, where’s your manners ? You were doing OK up until this point … one thing I do know though is – if you’re able to be rude, you won’t mind me being rude back … or perhaps you’re a cry-baby troll too ?

Is your blog that crap, that rubbish, that pointless that others wouldn’t like it … selling yourself a bit short, and not much confidence going into how you perceive yourself ? Seems a little bit insecure to be asking why someone likes you blog, personally I know some do, some don’t like mine, why is the why so important ? Why could I care what they like or don’t like, I’m not them. I like what I like and that’s enough for me.

AS FOR WHAT I LIKE AND DON’T LIKE, THAT’S ACTUALLY NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. YOU PRESUME TO DECIDE WHAT I LIKE AND DON’T LIKE BASED ON UTTER IGNORANCE, WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO GET TO KNOW ME. HOW SUPERFICIAL AND PRETENTIOUS YOU ARE. AND YOU HAVE THE GALL TO ACCUSE OTHERS OF BEING THE SAME.

You call me “fucker” which is just rude, and how the fuck do you know I don’t speak Dutch. IN ANY CASE with the aforementioned Google translate doesn’t matter if I speak Dutch or not, I can still read your blog.

So you didn’t follow back … well whoopy-shit Jimmy, what the big man with the principles you are … I’ve met five year olds less petty than you. You don’t need to tell me you didn’t follow me back, I don’t actually care. I might actually go out and celebrate that you didn’t follow me back. An unfollower party, yay !

I was awarded the “most influential blogger” by other bloggers, posted about it, look for yourself. Even spent hours creating a new badge try and spruce the award up a little. It was the last award I gave out, which is why it’s still on my sidebar. I’ve given out many many awards, and hope to continue to do so as and when I have time. I think awards are good for blogging, and couldn’t care less what anti-award neigh-sayers say – the arguments I heard where all *WRONG* misinformed sensationalist spin. NEVER-EVER will I feel ashamed to display an award badge when someone was kind enough to bestow it on me.

No need to follow me

Consider yourself “not on my following list”, for being one of the least charismatic people I’ve spoken to this week, perhaps this quarter, maybe even this year.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy

Please grow the fuck up Jimmy. Many might share your disappointments with how social life can be at times. Others of us have chosen to just accept the annoyances and get on with enjoying our lives and being happy as best we can despite the deficiencies in human nature. If you feel inner angst about it, blog about it, that’s a good way to let it out. But I suspect you probably don’t have the balls to blog about anything real.

I’m not your counsellor or dad, so have a little bit of respect when you leave comments on my blog, or piss off to be honest.

Silver Linings

There are good people out there, but you won’t find them if you’re so angry about stuff no one can do anything about. And when you project your personal problems onto other people, you’re very unlikely to get a positive response. Making it personal with someone who isn’t actually responsible won’t help you. But perhaps that’s what you want, I’m not omnipotent, I am the only partially seeing, not perfect Don Charisma.

Oh, and thanks for this 1700 word blog you just helped me write 😀 I am grateful for that Jimmy, it’s the alchemy of turning a negative into a positive. New bloggers that been asking me for tips, there’s one right there – Don’t let the bastards grind you down aka learn to turn negatives into positives.

On the whole and in general, I love the positivity new bloggers bring to this community, at other times, well just meh really – prefer you went back to Facebook and left us to enjoy WordPress pettiness free … but then what else would I blog about ? Kittens ?

Over to you …

Cheers

Don Charisma


Resources & Sources

Photos courtesy of Pixabay CC0/Public Domain


Notes for commenters:

Don Charisma Warning Improvised Writing

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma


 

DonCharisma.org Opinion Graphic


75 thoughts on “Dear Jimmy – Don Charisma’s Opinion

    1. LOL, I think it’s the making it personal that’s a problem, then one can only suspect a troll at work … and yeah, me too, I know my faults but don’t need others telling me them ! … Boring, not ever Suz, you’re one of the liveliest … and BBW ? … anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so says more about him/her than you !

      1. How do you tell if it is a him or a her when they set up a fake account to troll? lol
        Yeh, it is when they make it personal and resort to name calling that you realise they don’t have much of a life really.

      2. I dunno how do you tell ?

        I just take a guess either way … and generally I can spot someone who needs to be right or needs an argument off the bat, so doesn’t really matter if they are male or female, their comments end up in the same place …

        There’s generally no rational discussion or argument with trolls, so why bother engaging in the first place …

        Anyway, as you say, life goes on 😀

    1. Thanks my friend, it’s a strength (and a curse sometimes) to do it my own way, but often get positive responses, so happy for that 😀

      James, for me it’s the person I find attractive, charm, warmth and humilty, mean a lot more to me than pride, arrogance and coldness … as for shared interests, well we’re human beings, we all share interests !

  1. Nice scalding Don! It’s one of the finest features of the English language – scalding people who deserve it. You do it well.
    More importantly, your message of self-awareness and self-confidence comes through excellently.

  2. the Man has no imagination or a brain to create imaginative content,I find the best way to deal with people like this is to ignore them and delete or moderate their comments,that way you’re not giving them an outlet to spread their poison,xx Rachel
    P.S no Not all dutch men are like this being born in Holland and having a dutch dad and many uncles ,aunties and cousins I can say that the majority aren’t like this,though there are exceptions to this rule,xx

  3. I love how you spread this out & built up the suspense…at first I was all “Huh, so he feels more comfortable writing in Dutch, don’t think that makes him a racist…” I mean, I don’t speak every language out there…then you get the thing where he doesn’t know the goal of blogging, which…there is no one goal…whatever people make of how they want to use their blogs, right? And then finally you get to the stuff where he’s flipping out because you followed his blog, and it’s like a movie where everything is calm but kinda wierd and all of the sudden THE KILLER JUMPS OUT FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN AHHHHH!!!! LOL. 🙂

    1. Thanks Jen I read a good book on story telling, so must be getting it right somewhere, and thanks for saying … blogs are personal, people have their own dream about what they’d like to do with it, and it’s their blog so they can do what they want … if someone doesn’t know why they are here then they need to figure that out, not moan to me about it … not my job to decide for others what they want to do with their blogs and lives, I’m not them, so how do I know what happiness and success looks like to them ?

      THE KILLER BEHIND THE CURTAIN … love it Jen !

  4. Don! Maybe your problems with “Dutch Jimmy” have arisen because someone is hogging all the charisma?? Oh yeah, you 😛 Share it out buddy. Come on. The peasants are thirsty. heh heh

  5. What a great post! It amazes me you put Jimmy in his place with as much tact as you did. It was a charismatic verbal @ss beating. I love it! Please pass this along for me if you ever come in to contact with Jimmy again. “You suck Jimmy! – Mojoshawn, happy Don Charisma follower.”

    1. Thanks Mojoshawn … Jimmy’s still learning same as the rest of us, Twitter ain’t WordPress nor is Facebook … Personally I don’t see the need generally to start in conflict with people, so they get an @ss beating for that 😀

      1. I’m a man of peace myself, Don. I do however have disdain for the “internet bully”, being an IT admin. Anonymity turns some lambs into lions! Worst part of the innerwebnets.

  6. My husband is Dutch. He is super nice but super opinionated. He says, “We are the land of a thousand opinions.” The Dutch like to barter, I say argue, but my husband says barter. My opinion Dutch are super easy going people, but slightly neurotic. You should read the book, The “UnDutchables.” It explains all the weirdness (differences). The Dutch learn the minimum of three languages in school, Dutch, English, and German. They are curious people, maybe a little too much…OH AND VERY DIRECT. HAHAHA Oh and they love Gezellig (comfy-cozy and not hoity-toity). Just be normal because normal already crazy enough.

    1. LOL … ok, so Dutch guys are direct … so I have to remember that they won’t mind me being direct with them !

      My short time in Holland for a weekend, I enjoyed, the sights, the people and generally found plenty that’s Dutch and likeable …

  7. Very early on in my WordPress life, I wrote an article in response to one of those weekly prompts the wordpress team sometimes send out. This particular one was written by a guest blogger who was a published author who also gave advice to budding writers. A week later she wrote a post detailing her top 5 responses to her prompt. Unfortunately, she also wrote quite a lot about the truly awful quality of some of the posts she had read and how tiresome she had found it to read posts with terrible grammar, awful spelling and passages of text that rambled on and on and on. As someone who was delicately dipping her toe into the world of writing, I found myself upset and mortified by her comments. I assumed (correctly) that my first attempts at writing would be pretty rubbish, so I felt embarrassed that I had put myself out there like that. If I was any less stubborn and rebellious, I would have given up before I had really even started.

    We all know how tiresome it can be reading poorly written literature, but publicly cutting people down like that, to me, felt pretty unprofessional from someone who was supposed to want to support and give writing advice to budding authors. I believe I commented with a rather sarcastic response, pointing out how her careless words had made her appear, in my opinion, like a bit of a bitch and NOT someone who’s professional opinion I would rate to help writers improve their craft. I didn’t use those exact words, but that was my meaning.

    ‘Jimmy’ has done sort of the same thing. By ridiculing his followers and assuming they are only following him to get follows back, he is insulting his readers and making himself look like…well…a MUCH less adorable version of the cute trolls I used to collect as a kid. People really should be careful what they say online. It can come back and bite them on the ass.

    1. So there’s a paradox for a leader between tyranny and humility, the best leaders I’ve found who I’d follow willingly err to the side of humility, but aren’t afraid to use the big stick if they need to, but generally that’s an absolute last resort …

      It’s common in organisations to rule newbies with tyranny, “The pursuit of happyness” for instance, the unpaid, openly abused intern. I’ve also experienced it personally in diver training, lot of these people seem to have an ego because they are a “scuba instructor” … for why though, the guys, the instructors, who have humility and personability I learn a lot quicker from, and have much more enjoyable time with … the tyrants, glad to see the back of them … Reminds me of “Frost Nixon” which I watched recently, Frost’s continued charisma making him extremely likeable, and well Nixon you know that story …

      Also there’s whole range of personalities in “students” anything from the highly sensitive “rain man” type genius who can memorise an entire telephone directory in one sitting, to dumb insensitive grunts who wouldn’t feel anything if you punched them square in the face … as GOOD writers are generally creatives and on the sensitive side of the equation, again best to err to the side of caution and look towards positive reinforcement of what they’re doing well and tip-toe around the deficiencies … only problem is when you try this with the insensitive, they think you’re trying to patronise them … or you’re a “suck up” … or that you’re generally weak …

      So it’s a skill, that of a leader, teacher or mentor, to learn how best to empower those who one is trying to assist. I think there’s a general way to be as a mentor of the group, and then a more specific way to be with individuals based on the above.

      Add to that that personal direct criticism is amplified for the individual when there’s an audience, worse when the person knows and cares what that audience think !

      I’ve done guest blogs here, had submissions with typos and spelling mistakes … my approach was to direct my criticism to the attitude of the group, not towards individuals, that’s a harsh stick I don’t think needs using very often … I did that right at the end of the event, as a “what I learnt from it”.

      Jimmy’ll learn, probably the hard way, from someone who suffers fools less gladly than me …

  8. Don, I follow you because I like your blog, not because you may, or may not, follow mine. I would rather have 5 followers who like what I post than 500 who just want me to follow them. Keep doing good work.

    1. For me it’s the man (or woman) behind the blog that counts, and what counts most is what I call Charisma, which is generally just being a friendly normal human being … with the occasional sparkle, because we all have the possibility to shine !

      And thanks, our conversations have always been relevant and interesting to me 😀

  9. I follow a lot of blogs that are not usual for me because I am curious about my world. Like you, some are not in my native language. I click the top bar and it says, ‘translate to English’ and I click it. Not perfect but enough for general understanding. But there is now a prevailing thought that if you are following someone you must want something back.

    I am new to blogging, and I am a stranger in a strange land, to quote someone higher than I.

    1. Easy enough to translate … and yes my interests are diverse, and not up to the blogger to decide what I like and don’t like, that’s my business …

      Following on blog means following the RSS feed, which is “following” doesn’t mean “following expecting you to follow back” never has been … perhaps on twitter or facebook, but I don’t use them much, so dunno 😀

      Hope you meet some nice people here, I have and prefer it to twitter, facebook or anything else …

      1. Agreed, tools, WordPress.com I actually enjoy being part of, a sense of community and being in the same boat, rather than competitors in a don’t trust anyone scenario 😀

  10. Don, Your blog is very popular and it’s inevitable that you are going to have some idiot out there post crappy things on it. I think you have dealt with this in a thoughtful and also passionate way. I hope you aren’t seriously impacted by “Jimmy”. I have had a Dutch guy as a friend for several decades now; he can be incredibly warm and charming but at other times when we disagree,is stiff and intractable, more so than men I know from other countries. I still enjoy his company though.

    1. Ah, ok, so wasn’t just me then … would love to be proved wrong as I don’t like to write people off without good reason !

      I’ve been doing this a while now, and the only serious impact I get is a little thicker skin each time, which isn’t a bad thing …

      And yeah, goes with the territory people wanting to express their angst to me, I just wish they’d own that shit instead of blaming it on others, that way I might actually be able to help …

      Lastly I generally blog this stuff for others who aren’t as confident as me, the hope they might find ways to stick up for themselves … Other bloggers did same for me, and really appreciated their sharing of their ways of dealing with the troublesome minority …

  11. You sum up – very elegantly – one of the BIG problems of life online. There are some weird, petty and self-obsessed people out there. I once had a ranting comment on a blog piece that was actually three times longer than the original blog piece itself. That might have been an interesting start to a conversation, except that the person commenting appeared to be deranged. You get to have some great conversations with followers, but you also meet people who shouldn’t be allowed near a laptop. The one blessing about this (and thanks to a dear friend for reminding me of this) is that the more successful you are, the more likely you’ll attract these – ahem – people needing mental health assistance. Thanks for a great piece!

    1. LOL, been there for sure … and yes I’ve seen the exact same sentiments expressed with charm and respect, and it’s a whole different conversation … not convinced just open the mouth and speak is best way forward, but each to their own …

      And yes, people with dubious sanity one deals with daily … still lucky we’re sane LOL

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