How To Block Abusive Stalkers


It’s come the time to talk about this and name the party responsible. He his the first to go on my public blacklist which will be located at :

http://DonCharisma.org/blacklist/

I started the DonCharisma.org blog back in July-2013. These problems occurred in September-2013, when I was still fairly new to blogging, and quite unsure of myself. I nearly gave up blogging the day I saw these words in the WordPress.com public support forum – “How To Block Abusive Stalkers”. It was thanks to blogger friends Shaun Gibson and A.D. Everard that I had the friends around me to turn a negative into a positive. The incident sparked my trolls post which was one of my biggest early successes. Both Shaun and Alison are on my friends page and have earned lifetime respect from me.

FAR FROM making a laughing stock of myself, I gained a tremendous amount of friends as a result of posting about my experiences, I even have a very prominent figure in UK mainstream media who’s a reader and friend – AS A DIRECT RESULT OF HAVING THESE PROBLEMS. So there are positives, but doesn’t make it right for people to lie and behave in an very hostile way.

DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us The Axe Muderer

How To Block Abusive Stalkers by “The Axe Muderer” aka “Ernest Dubois” aka “Ernest Dubious”

Really this should be called :

“How to lie in the support forums in an attempt to defame an innocent man, and satisfy a personal desire to attack a fellow blogger”

or “Abusing the support forum staff by getting them to put my toys back in my cot for me”

I monitor as part of my SEO my Google and Yahoo results. One day in September last year I see my name associated with a thread in the support forums entitled “How To Block Abusive Stalkers” by Ernest Dubois

The thread is still there, click the Google link below, third entry down, I see it almost every day :

http://www.google.com/search?q=don+charisma

As I explained in my Trolls post, all I ever did was follow this guy’s blog, liked a few posts on his blog, a couple of polite comments where exchanged on each other’s blogs and we unfollowed each other. I didn’t think anything more of it.

At the time I was helping my friend with his home improvement business in London, which had suffered badly during the recent recession. My friend was flat broke, and really finding it tough. I helped him improve his website, and at the time was making contacts with tradesmen on WordPress, Ernest Dubious would have come up maybe on my search for “carpentry” for instance in the reader. I thought these contacts might be able to help my friend, although I didn’t know exactly how, collaboration, perhaps they know of work etc. My friend’s home improvement business London Home Maintenance is now back on it’s feet this year and he’s got plenty of work.

As I explained in the support forum, my father is a carpenter, and I’ve been involved in the trades myself. I used to run a plumbing and heating business, and I’m a qualified gas engineer. My father used to build timber framed houses in oak and build furniture in again oak. Wordworking tools like axes I have an interest in through working with my father and later on my own.

Back to Ernest Dubious, he runs a public blog with a public feed and at the time he had like buttons on it. Following and liking posts with a genuine reason, is normal blog behaviour, there is absolutely nothing stalkerish or abusive about this. If the guy didn’t want public attention then don’t do a public blog, simple, not rocket science.

I must say I was gobsmacked at the lengths that he went to to lie about me publicly, at the time it was very upsetting. The talk on the thread also mentioned illegality, which made matters even more serious as far as I’m concerned. “Abusive stalking” is something that I could potentially get police questions over. To make an allegation of criminality publicly, is EXTREMELY HOSTILE and something I will always DEFEND VEHEMENTLY. Especially since I’m entirely innocent of the allegation.

My friend and fellow blogger Jason Cushman came to my aid, and tried to make light of it by dismissing as “New bloggers”, which is kind and helpful of Jason, but that’s his style. It gives the Ernest a way to back down without losing face. Did he back down or apologise ? NO he didn’t. All magically went quiet, presumably as he crawled back under his rock or bridge. Troll.

Ernest Dubois never withdrew the allegation, apologised or set the record straight. He is still blogging hermit or recluse to his 26 followers at :

axework.wordpress.com

His gravatar is :

en.gravatar.com/ernestdubois

I’ve spoken to my business partner and friend Danny about the whole thing. He doesn’t care, I think he actually thinks it helps us not hinders us, something like the old adage of “There’s no such thing as bad publicity”. My objection is that it continues to appear when people search for “Don Charisma” in the top three results. Some people won’t bother to read the thread or find out the real story, they will just decide that I’m a bad person. This is entirely unfair as I never did anything wrong, I never said or did anything abusive to Ernest Dubious, I have never and never will stalk Ernest Dubious. My only intention was networking and making friends, normal in the blogging environment, most people are happy for new connections.

DonCharisma.org-Support-Comments-Box

At the time I asked the support staff to remove my blog name and my ip address from the support forum thread. They agreed to remove my ip address. But refused to remove my blog name, even thought their forum says underneath the comment box – “We love positive and productive discussions, so please keep comments on the topics at hand and not on other members of the community. Thanks!”

There have also now been “copy-cat” morons posted similar crap in the support forums. PLEASE PLEASE give these support forum volunteers a break from your lies, it’s not their job to be putting your toys back in your cot, grow a pair, doing this is completely manipulative, you f***ing morons.

I’ve even talked to some of Ernest Dubious’ friends, who I’ve found to be entirely contrasting to Ernest, very friendly and personable people, I still follow some of their blogs and some of them follow me.

I didn’t feel ready to share this publicly until now, but I feel it’s in the public interest to know of someone who is a liar. Someone who will go to the extreme lengths of lying about me in the WordPress.com support forums to try to personally attack me. The support forums are run by volunteers, nice and helpful people actually, why increase their workload with perry crap like this ? That’s just pathetic when there are genuine people waiting for the support staff’s help and attention.

Ernest Dubious is so devious that he’ll spin a situation into a lie, then waste everyone’s time trying to help him. Ass-hole.

SO ERNEST DUBIOUS OF AXEWORK IS THE FIRST TO BE INCLUDED ON MY PUBLIC BLACKLIST FOR THE REASONS STATED HERE.

I will NEVER tolerate being strong armed by liars and bullies. I will always defend myself vigorously when I experience this kind VILE behaviour, it’s abhorrent to me.

And seriously a guy who’s obsession is axes, a recluse *REALLY ?* … does make one wonder if the guy likes to murder people with his axes … hence “The Axe Murderer”

My piece said.

What you my readers do with this information is up to you. I’ve just told the truth because I think you should know what this person is capable of, and what others may be capable of. Maybe you’ll learn something about how you can defend yourself.

Standing strong and unmoved in self-defence is a charismatic trait not a petty one. I will always defend myself against bullies and those that attempt to strong arm me.

Warm regards

Don Charisma


Resources & Sources

“Toys” Lettering produced in Adobe Illustrator (c) Don Charisma


Notes for commenters:

Don Charisma Warning Improvised Writing

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma



31 thoughts on “How To Block Abusive Stalkers

  1. I had an encounter with a blogger who was down right miserable, he was harrassing me until I used the B-word. I called him a blog bully and boy did he feel some kind of way afterward, he then replied with the famous hypocrite,,. And then I sent him a cyber hug and said nite nite blog bully. It was not until I called him that name was he ever going to stop. I aLmost did not want to be apart of wordpress, but I stayed. People are mad, and miserable, so Cheers to you, cause you have a great blog, and mine is not to shabby.

    1. Thanks my friend, and yes plenty of nutty people around … I don’t know the B-word, but then again I probably do, just don’t know which B word !

      I keep going and not let this affect me too much, I’ve gone public on it now, so don’t have anything to hide 🙂

      1. Ah, I didn’t even know that was a reserved word, I had a shit storm because I used the R word the other day … didn’t mean it in the context that people got upset, but some people just read titles, react first and ask questions later … I’m still learning, and I’m not an american so be gentle with me 🙂

        Cheers

        DOn

      2. Love it! I don’t think it is a reserve word, I just used it that way. We do need to be careful, not to offend. Lol. Have a great day. Peace. You made me laugh.

  2. It’s kind of a shame, because I’d probably enjoy reading a blog about axes, but it’s not worth it if the guy might freak out and accuse me of being a “stalker” or something just because I hit a like or a follow button. So, follower 27 won’t be me.

    Interestingly enough, having dealt with stalkers in my day, both online and in the real world, I know what the legality is of dealing with it in the U.S. (though not the UK or Holland) and I’ve read some things on the psychology of it. Apparently an ACTUAL stalker may seepublic mentions of them, even negative ones, as encouragement, so often it’s wisest to handle it with as little public play as possible.

    1. Go on Jenny see if you can get him to write about getting you removed on the support forums, that’d be a great write, I’d definately publish that one LOL

      And thanks for info on stalkers, sorry to hear you had problems with them. Generally I do my best to ignore morons, but this guy just doesn’t know what subtle or not washing dirty laundry in public means … so he’s been added to me blacklist which I’ll update periodically

  3. Hi Don, I am a new blogger and I actually googled you because I am still very paranoid about who I follow and who follows me. I actually saw the support forum post and it initially turned me off because I really wanted just a quiet blog, albeit public, so any connection with “abusive” bloggers is a bit problematic. I did, however, read through the forum and saw your post, and even looked through 3 pages of google search results. So far, the contents are all good words about you from other bloggers and your prompts.
    I did sense some sort of impatience in the support replies as the conversation seems to turn circular. Anyway, if there really was abusive behavior, it would be easy to take screenshots and report it somewhere where definite action can be done. But that’s just me.

    1. This one was in my spam queue for reasons unknown, so I’ve rescued you 🙂

      I know that I get Googled a lot, that’s why I publicly named this guy. I never did anything to him apart from exchanging polite comments and liking a few posts on his blog. He for some reason has a problem with me and decided to make up lies in the support forum. Call it envy, troll, I honestly don’t care what his reasons are …

      But hey that’s life, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

      Warm regards

      Don

  4. I think airing your personal dirty laundry is pretty low class, not a public service. But to each their own, I suppose.

  5. Don, it is funny, shortly after i started to follow your blog, I googled you (because you are such an interesting man and I wanted to see what else you were into) and this information came up. I read it because it was interesting and I figured you had already discussed it on your blog before i started following you. Because of how you handled the situation with this man in the fourm, made you all the more interesting in my eyes. If one is a person of integrity, I think we have nothing to hide and these tough situations we find ourselves in at times helps serves everyone by sharing the info and shedding light. I am glad you saved this story so I could get the full meal deal! hahaha.

    1. Thanks hun, and yes plenty do and that’s why it’s in the top 3 when I dominate the whole first 3 pages or so on Google … It’s good that people like you actually bother to look beyond the end of your nose and read what happened, so perhaps a positive way to look at it is that the t-shirt philosophers get weeded out … Danny I’ve talked to about it and he doesn’t see the fuss or why it annoyed me … so bottom line I guess is it’s good publicity for us … and glad you fished for dirt and still trusted you instincts, otherwise I would be typing this comment to someone else 🙂

  6. It’s a true pity these people feel like they need to do this to others. I was in a similar situation years ago in another community because I chose to stand up for someone. In the end nearly everyone came to my aid and supported me, but it did affect me for awhile. In the long run, you show people who you are through example, and in the end, you’ll come out on top because of your truthfulness. Keep it up, Don. I love the blog.

  7. I’m sorry, but I know how difficult that would be. But I can’t help but chuckle at some of the comparatives. (I hope you see the humour) 🙂

    -he has 26 followers… You have many, many more…
    -he has an Axe to grind… You know how to use one…
    -he picked a fight… You roasted him in the forum…
    -he is introverted… You are extroverted (am I wrong?)

    Yeah, I think he picked the wrong person to mess with….

    1. LOL, not sure about extrovert, I seem to “wax and wane” if that makes sense … but yeah, the guy was pretty stupid, hopefully he’s learnt his lesson … on a serious note, look, I really only look for friendship and networking … haven’t really got time for shenanigans !

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