DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Six Trolls-R-Us

Trolls-R-Us, a guide to blog Trolls – Moose, Mr Whisk and The Axe Murderer


Personally, I don’t follow the news too much, I started my information diet some years ago, and I’m emotionally much fitter as a consequence. I catch the occasional story when I check my email on Yahoo, and keep abreast of issues which are relevant and necessary, but largely I don’t miss it or need it.

UK – I was incredibly saddened by the death of Hannah Smith, suicide, it’s said the cause was Trolls on the website ask.fm. I don’t know the entire story, nor will any of us probably ever know the truth of exactly what Hannah was thinking. From what I understand she was young girl struggling to come to terms with personal issues and looking for friends and people to support her, normal stuff in any kind of caring community. Normal supportive behaviour of people who have any kind of moral compass, good heartedness or integrity. But it seems all she got was abuse and a kick in her vulnerabilities. Really, I’m disgusted by this, why pick on someone who’s young, vulnerable and impressionable, that’s just cowardly bullying. And to do it in “anonymity”…I can’t really find words without swearing, makes my blood boil. What kind of cruel sickos are these people ?

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Six Trolls-R-Us
DonCharisma.com Six Trolls-R-Us

So why am I writing this ?

I’ve not been blogging all that long a time, a few months. Recently my 5000 followers mark came and went, without announcement. I’m happy that people like my blog, happy that I’ve inspired people, but don’t want to let it go to my head too much. Occasionally I do blow my own trumpet, hope that other’s would want to share my happiness.

The WordPress community I’ve found is such a breath of fresh air, so many creative, inspiring people here, it’s a joy to behold. In short, I like it here, I enjoy the chat, I’m loving what I’m doing, even though I don’t earn any cash at it, hopefully that’ll come later. Something like, find the passion and the money will follow.

So it’s not all that pleasant to see defamatory and untrue things said, by people who I can only guess are envious or mean me harm for some other reason. Personal amusement in their empty lives to compensate for their utter lack of in happiness, maybe? Seeing themselves having some kind of power over others makes them feel big? Ultimately they are looking to get me/you/us to react.

Sidenote: Of course I’d like feedback on what I’m saying here. Your experiences and things that I have missed are solid gold. I love to learn from other people’s experiences, that can drastically shorten my learning curve, a great thing. But keep it positive, and don’t name specific people or blogs.

A little more about me

I always reply to comments personally on my blog, I never send spam to people, do my best to keep up with comments on other people’s blogs. It can be time consuming to write full and meaningful replies to every comment, some days 10 hours or more have gone by, just replying to people. I don’t mind, my integrity says people who’ve taken time to contribute and help me, deserve my respect. I do my best.

I enjoy meeting other like-minded bloggers and chat a little about whatever’s current. I believe in Charisma and Positivity. I’m human, get tired, need to rest, get fed up, this is normal, but do my best to be Charismatic and Positive in what I’m doing, when I can. These are the characteristics of friends and mentors who’ve inspired me. These are the shoulders of the giants, that I’ve had the privilege to stand on.

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Five Trolls-R-Us
DonCharisma.com Five Trolls-R-Us

Who and What is a Troll?

A troll is someone who gets gratification, that is pleasure, from seeing someone else suffer in some way. Well more than that, they actually set about causing another person to react, in the hope that they will expose that person’s weakness or trip them up into making a social faux pas (error). Ultimate goal to see them humiliated and laughed at, or hurt or punished in some way. It’s a power game for weak minded people, leveraging manipulation rather than any real strength. The larger the audience, the bigger the “thrill” for the troll(s). So a sophisticated social bully, celebs and other well known people would probably compare with paparazzi or hack journalists.

I could explain various Troll strategies in detail, but don’t think it would be anybody’s interest to educate Trolls any further in their black art. “Fake” victim would be one for instance.

They want to hook you in, then perpetuate the situation by throwing more and more at you. They are social-vandals on a power and control trip. They will try to make others think they are doing good, by “exposing bad people” (utter nonsense), freedom of speech or similar (again utter nonsense), it’s a far more selfish and sinister in reality. Some people are dumb and innocent enough to buy into it, which is how packs and families of Trolls form. Dumb and dumber.

Since I started blogging, I’ve had three and a “bit” Trolls try to get me to react to them. The “bit” is a French lady who made a comment, a “veiled” insult with plausible deniability built in, very sophisticated work, excellent craftswoman-ship, top score… NOT, I could see her a mile off, wasn’t impressed. Not really worthy of an extended mention.

The first real Troll was somebody calling himself “Moose”

DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us Dog Moose
DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us Dog Moose

First Troll – Moose, Australia

Troll potency 1/10Utterly flaccid, pathetic in the troll arts, a “force” to be well and truely ignored.

I don’t know what this guy thinks I did to him, really I have no clue. I’m guessing from looking around at what I found on Google that he’s pissed because we share the same name and he doesn’t like sharing Google-space with me. I couldn’t see that he was doing anything successful, so perhaps envious of my doing well. Conjecture on my part, honestly I don’t know, nor really care any more.

His comment went into my spam queue, and I did my own investigation based on ip-address and email in case of further problems. These details I’ve kept private and will stay private, as I don’t believe it’s good behaviour to publish this kind of stuff. Just because someone else is weak doesn’t mean I have to be as well.

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Trolls-R-Us Mr Whisk
DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us Mr Whisk

Second Troll – Mr Whisk, USA

Troll potency 2/10Impotent, troll art skills virtually non existent, a “force” to be ignored then laughed at.

This guy had followed my blog a month or more prior, and he’d commented with his life-story twitter style, an exhausting 160 characters, then never heard from him again. Bit odd really, perhaps a “hi, really like your blog, how are you?”, and then a conversation over a few replies, would have been “normal”? Perhaps he was too busy creating the wall of words on his daily winge. Who knows.

So, time passes by and then out of the blue, I get a comment on my blog’s moderation queue “how do I get you out of my inbox” … my reply “come again ?”, ie what-the-funk????

I check out his blog, again, and he didn’t really seem to be very happy with his lot in life. I sympathise, really I do, but not going to jump in the ditch with him, doesn’t help me or my loved ones. In contrast, I’m blogging about positive stuff, enjoying what I’m doing and making the best of my life even with my own challenges and disadvantages.

So again, perhaps envy, I really just don’t know, I prefer not to engage with these trolls to find out. Perhaps fed up looking for someone to lash out at ? A cry for help ?

Lastly I check my inbox and there are twenty messages “Mr Whisk is following your blog”, he’d obviously kept pressing repeatedly the follow/unfollow button in order to “send me a message”. Childish? Personally I just found it a bit pathetic.

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Trolls-R-Us The Axe Muderer
DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us The Axe Muderer

Third Troll – Affectionately know by my friends and I, as “The Axe Murderer”, Holland

Troll potency 5/10Quite skilful in the troll arts, to be taken seriously, but relatively minor annoyance. A force to be stood up to, then squashed, then laughed at vigorously.

A grown man from what I understand, several blogs been here three years. I followed his blog some time ago, and liked some of his posts.

For background, my own father passed on knowledge of his trade to me, a carpenter. Via my father’s trade I have an interest in what this guy posts about, it’s why I followed his blog in the first place. It’s normal behaviour in most people’s reality, following a blog that’s of interest.

In point of fact, anyone with a computer, internet connection can BY DEFAULT anonymously view a blog or follow it’s RSS feed. So it’s not like we need to be bossom buddies or facebook “friends”/”sweethearts”. I don’t need to drop him a little sweet message every five minutes, it’s just not that kind of relationship. Following a blog just means that I have an interest in the blog, a normal ordinary anonymous interest.

He could set his blog to private, but most people don’t do this with a blog as it defeats the object of blogging a blog in the first place. So you want to blog to yourself, why, what’s the point ?

Liking is a way of showing appreciation and merit. I use it on my own blog as a measure of whether I’m getting it right or not in terms of my content. More likes=better content, less likes=poorer content. Building an ego over likes, well maybe for a novice blogger. Not any more for me, it’s just a feedback meter on whether I’m getting it right or not. I’m happy when I get it right, I learn when I get it wrong. Likes is a nice way to do it.

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Trolls-R-Us
DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us

So, anyway, I’ve digressed… some time passes, and he leaves a comment on my blog. Not exactly friendly, but rather blunt and rude, asking me to remove my following from his blog, no substantial reason given. Fair enough, he’s asked me, so I leave a polite comment and unfollow his blog. I didn’t think much more of it.

Then whilst checking my SEO on Google, I stumble across something he’s written publicly elsewhere. He’s named my blog, given my IP address and worse, he’s made untrue defamatory comments. He accused me of being an “abusive stalker” and a “persistent annoyance”, what absolute and complete utter rubbish and fabrication. Those are just not things that are in my nature, anyone that knows me, knows this. So why on earth would I waste time doing that kind of stuff when I’m busy enjoying doing my blog? JUST UTTERLY RIDICULOUS AND UNTRUE.

What has the world come to when a grown man gets upset and annoyed by someone just following his blog and liking his posts…absurd and ridiculous, yes, but that’s what happened to me !

Completely taken aback and unprepared, I replied to his fabrications, which did at first, still in shock, annoy me, I admit. For most sane people who have had someone blatantly lie about them, making attempts to harm their reputation publicly, they’d be annoyed, that’s normal. And behind their back, let’s be honest is even more annoying.

On reflection and speaking to a few friends, we concluded that following a public WordPress blog and identifying myself, is normal. Anyone with a Gravatar account can do this on any WordPress.com blog. Further, as I’ve already said anyone with a computer, internet connection, half a brain cell can follow a blog anonymously just by going to myblog.wordpress.com and reading their browser or following via RSS. Liking someone’s blog or posts is done with a positive intention, to provide positive feedback, a mini-compliment. What kind of stupid person doesn’t like a compliment?

I’ve chalked this down to experience. I generally don’t respond to trolls, but do reserve the right to defend myself against lies and fake serious allegations. That’s starting to go beyond troll’ing into slander and deformation. I don’t accept the defence of English not being the persons first language in a public forum. Ignorance isn’t a legal defence, it’s the individual’s responsibility to inform themselves of law and the language they are using. Having said this, with humility, “sorry, English not my first language, I made a mistake”, then olive branch accepted, shake hands and make up.

It’s probably more a matter of ignorance more than malice on the part of the “The Axe Murder”, but really wish he’d spoken to me personally, rather than going behind my back.

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Family Of Trolls-R-Us
DonCharisma.com Family Of Trolls-R-Us

Positives that have come out of it

  1. If his intention was defame me publicly, he failed, he’s actually ended up looking the stupid, ignorant one. Rather this has enhanced my reputation. I’d prefer not to win like this in my life, but up to him, he brought it on himself.
  2. It’s given me a good chance to clear out of the blogs that I was following. I don’t really need to be following and waiting for trolls to arrive on my blog, or troll me elsewhere. I do my best to follow ALL of the blogs that follow me and a few others. Sometimes I will follow a blog speculatively because it looks like it has potential – I will be a little more choosy about this in the future.
  3. I’ve learn’t a lot about how I react to trolls and how to deal with them more effectively next time. There will be a next time, I’m sure, 100%. Squashing a troll can be relatively painless for those that have prepared themselves. Real experience is good preparation, arguably the best.
  4. I’ve remembered (again !) that it’s good to have a few friends around that can put things in perspective (thanks Shaun and Danny!). So happy to have them around for when a troll tries to wield his black arts on me again.
DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Three Trolls-R-Us
DonCharisma.com Three Trolls-R-Us

Advice on dealing with Trolls in public places

Trolls prey on the weak, the gentle, the vulnerable, those in need. Scummy cruel little narcissists. First line of defence, try not to be weak, overly gentle, overly vulnerable or need too much, in public – easier than it sounds I know, but you can only do your best. Save your virtue for the ones that love you back. Caution doesn’t mean you’re a coward, it might mean you’re using your brain to stay safe from the weak minded.

  1. First stock advice is to ignore Trolls, they are looking for a reaction, they want to laugh at someone else’s suffering, by poking at you in any way they see a chink in your “armour”. Without your reaction, they haven’t achieved their objective. This can take courage and strength, but that’s what it takes. Ignore, block, delete, put in spam queue.
  2. If you are publicly forced into a corner by one of these prehistoric Neanderthals, then keep calm, be polite, continue with an air of respect, but be firm and don’t buy into their point of view. Never ever in your own mind let them be right, you are right, they are not. Try to make what you say your final comment, so there isn’t anything else to be said later. Don’t be pushed off balance into making a social faux pas, or getting involved in an extended interaction. Be a leader – “this conversation is over” (or you can craft better) closing words.
  3. Most other normal well adjusted human beings will recognise a troll a mile off. Whilst their support may not seem obvious, they are there. They dislike trolls as much as you do. They are also wary to get involved, as they don’t want to get stung either.
  4. Look to your friends, family and loved ones for support, help and advice if you need. They often can put a much calmer relaxed perspective on things, and help you deal the the troll more effortlessly. But be careful who you ask, some may make matters worse.
  5. If you’re unlucky enough to find yourself in a pack of trolls, without a friend, then remove your self from the situation, your safety comes first. Just walk away. Better to be on your own and safe, than amongst trolls and abused. You know you’re a good person and that’s all that matters.
  6. Do your own investigation on the Troll, search Google for their ip-address and email, be inventive, use your imagination, it’s very possible to dig up a lot of stuff very easily. Keep screen prints of web pages as they do change – Evernote good for this, save entire page. Keep links, emails, ip-addresses and any other information. File away, just in case the problem escalates. Never publish or share this information, but police/authorities may wish to see it if the Troll goes beyond scope of troll’ing and is actually a nut-case, not a harmless weakling.
  7. Do realise that internet is public, and that written communications can and are seen by many people and can be easily copied and re-distributed. By all means say what you want, but think about what you say, before you say it, before you press send.
  8. Don’t reveal too much of yourself in public, save the best bits for yourself, your loved ones and friends:)
  9. Do use your moderation and spam system in your blog. Also consider disabling commenting or like facility if you’re sensitive to people’s comments or feel that every like should be wholly authentically given.
  10. Important – Once you’ve recorded the info from the troll’s comment, put it in your SPAM queue, you won’t see another message from him/her again. I said this already but it’s important:)
  11. Lastly I know Troll baiting is fun, but try and have the heart the troll doesn’t have, otherwise we’ll never be rid of this nuisance. Use the good judgement that the Troll lacks.

Although it’s pretty colourful (and has bad language, so not for everyone), I like how Vinnie Jones deals with his challengers in the movie “Snatch”. You can find it on YouTube, “Desert Eagle vs Replica”. This is the kind of strength needed to stand up to persistent Trolls, and highlight them as just flaccid empty vessels where a good human being once stood. Don’t watch if you’re offended by bad language !

Conclusion

Don Charisma 3 / Trolls 0

My blog has received over 37000 visits, and I have had three and bit trolls come to visit. In perspective trolls are actually quite rare here on WordPress, endangered species, which in this case doesn’t need protecting, squash ’em, well at least the ones that deserve it. You can learn a lot from a Troll, about yourself, about how to be more charismatic and a better person, so don’t thank them, but be grateful for what they can teach you.

Future Ideas

DonCharisma.com, Don Charisma, Trolls-R-Us I Squashed a troll AWARD
DonCharisma.com Trolls-R-Us I Squashed a troll AWARD

Squashing trolls for the experienced can actually be quite fun. Who doesn’t love to see a pumped up bluff, burst and then crawl off back under it’s rock? So, how about a “Don Charisma, I squashed a troll award”, for people who can send me a publishable post on their Troll slaying activities ?

Just leave a comment on this post with your proposal if you’d like to share your troll-squashing activities.

Update 11-Oct, My first award goes to Shaun Gibson for his Troll squashing activities – http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/so-i-gave-a-person-an-award-he-asked-me-if-i-was-a-jew/




Resources & Sources

‘She’s pathetic’ – Now Facebook trolls target family of latest Ask.Fm suicide girl – http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/shes-pathetic-now-facebook-trolls-target-family-of-latest-askfm-suicide-girl-29476014.html

“Reblog” on thoughts – http://scarletts-letters.thoughts.com/posts/how-to-deal-with-trolls

Re: “toys” lettering

Note: I drew my own “toys” lettering in Adobe Illustrator for this post, I didn’t use a font for the logo or captions.

Note 2: After completing the post, I found on Google (1st result) this FREE font, might be useful for anyone wishing to do similar lettering who doesn’t have Adobe Illustrator skills – http://www.freepremiumfonts.com/free-font/toysrus-babiesrus-32273.aspx and also this one is quite similar – http://www.freepremiumfonts.com/free-font/best-of-the-toys-for-sale.aspx

151 thoughts on “Trolls-R-Us, a guide to blog Trolls – Moose, Mr Whisk and The Axe Murderer

  1. Reblogged this on Beneath The Headstone and commented:
    Again, thanks for commenting on my own post regarding trolls, as well as taking the time to share this one with me.

    When I wrote my own version, it was because one of my followers had recently dealt with a troll on Amazon and it reading his resulting post had fired me up. Thankfully, *knock on wood*, haven’t had to deal with anything like that as of yet. Sure, I’ve had past experiences with these little beasties, but it was in a different setting altogether. (Forums, live chats, etc.)

    I enjoyed reading this post of yours because you not only detail the troll’s behaviors, but what you did about them as well. Very informative material and excellent advice, which I will enjoy sharing!

  2. Shew – that took longer than expected to read!!! I did not quite get through all the comments in the end. Super post Don. If I ever get one of these people – I am emailing YOU first OK? 😉 (I am pretty sensitive (really) but am growing a bit of a tougher skin – it is hard not to take these things personally – and it is hard sometimes not to fall into the traps because you don’t really see them till it is too late. I just would not have the energy to to ‘argue’ it is just easier to ignore it/back down or – yeah well – ignore it. I would have a bit of a problem though if I came across this on someone elses blog for example that young girl— I swear I would be rallying up the cardboard people squishers so darn quick to decide the best action to get the law involved.

    My first month here at wordpress I came across a young lady who was very depressed and suicidal — that was so sad and scary – I actually called The Samaritans for guidance on what to say and what not to say!! (like I said I was VERY new still. It all went up and down for a quite a while – I remember sitting one night for a long time just chatting to her because she was so down.

    Then I did not hear from her for AGES – though I still saw posts – and would just leave positive comments – to which she did not respond. Eventually I saw her mindset change – and just in the last couple of months she has done SUCH a huge turn around and even replied so beautifully to one small comment I made thanking me for just constantly being there. One wishes you could be there for all folk who need that – but – the truth is – it just aint possible…and it is a hard one to call sometimes.

    Any way – good tips here for keeping safe and keeping watchful 😀 Ta

    1. So you’re digging deeper into the Don Charisma archives today, I guess I either must have done something right or wrong LOL

      I think some people are more sensitive than others, and less or more affected by external input. Within that we’re all learning along the way.

      Glad to hear you championing the less able, I do try my best with people I see around me and hope that at least a few are inspired and grow a little with my help.

      Warm regards

      DC

      1. Did you not get it????? Sent off last night with another email following a few hours later to confirm – thought you may have been asleep or put me in the queue –

  3. I had no idea what trolls were… other than what I’ve been told about on Facebook. I think I’ve had a ‘friend’ who was one (unfriended a long time ago) Thank you for your follow, Don. I’m going to take your advice and dis-enable comments and likes. Given the purpose of my blog, I don’t need feedback of that sort. Thanks again for the education. LAE

  4. Hi, Don!

    First, let me say, “Thank you,” for following my blog. I do hope it is with purpose and not for a “follow” exchange (Typically, people will follow a page with no interest in the topic just to say later, “I’m following you so now you follow me.” It’s a way to get followers that doesn’t work with me as I have a particular genre that I offer/associate with via this account.). Likewise, I hope my posts are informative but are never needed in an official capacity.

    On topic: Trolls!

    If you browse through my posts, you’ll see a treasure trove of them. I’ve dealt with the worst kinds of trolls for many years, and I’ve become an expert on dealing with them. Some have been amateurish, at best, but others can be dangerous. You’ve mentioned both in this article, and I see you know your way around them.

    It’s ironic but this post is, actually, catering to the trolls. You should never post about specific trolls. It’s a Lifetime Achievement Award for them when they have finally gotten under your skin so much, you dedicate an actual blog post to them.

    In my case, I shame them as much as possible because they think everyone is a scared child they can bully. Some come right on in with their trolling. I send most of those to my Spam. Some of them, though, provide valuable insight into the mind of abusers that I want my readers to see. Their trolling, therefore, benefits me and I take every advantage of them (much to their surprise and outrage).

    Some start off as innocent bystanders who “just want to talk/learn/discuss.” I can smell the B.S. from a mile away, but I play their game to, again, show my readers how they operate. This is how they groom children, and I want my readers to see it first-hand. At some point, they become irate because they figure it out that I’m not being fooled and I am, in fact, trolling THEM. Once the reach their breaking point, they start saying things they had previously tried very hard to avoid. Going back to my ’90s days: BUSTED! It’s always nice making the bullies of children feel weak and diminished.

    Unless your time is already dedicated to cutting down the types of trolls visiting your site, it’s best to follow the wisest advice of your post: Ignore them. They can, indeed, become dangerous and you don’t want them to feel justified in what they do next.

    IP addresses: Not always useful. You never know if someone is using a proxy, and career trolls will 99.9% of the time use a proxy. A proxy, as you know, is a service which changes the IP address so it cannot be traced by the ordinary blogger. You could look up the IP and it will tell you they are posting from an internet cafe in Bangladesh when they are really sitting in their bathrobe in Philadelphia. Same goes for e-mail addresses. There are plenty of proxy services that provide free or paid-for e-mail addresses, which come with the IP location of your choice.

    Amateur trolls won’t know about these or won’t feel like bothering with them. Exposing their IP address can be a very good tool in scaring the shih tzu out of them and making them think twice and thrice about ever trolling again. At least on your blog. Experienced trolls, however, will come back harder for your audacity at attempting to shame them. As I said, unless you’re prepared to dedicate a large chunk of your life combatting internet trolls, it’s best to send them to spam and ignore them.

    The one who went crazy because you followed him sounds very familiar. I had a guy do that to me on Facebook (aka: Fakebook, Failbook, Freakbook, Brokebook…). Let’s face it, Facebook is the best source for the craziest people on the internet. That honor used to be reserved for channers (more later), but now that 4chan has its own Facebook pages, Facebook is the new 4chan. It’s never going to recover and will only go downhill from now on, including an increase in trolls, cyber bullies, and just all out stupid people.

    Back to this guy … We were Facebook friends so of course, his posts would come across my newsfeed. He had a lot of cool things to say and some funny shares. When I would see them, I would “like” them – as I did with my other friends. Well, that fateful day came when he posted something with which I didn’t agree. It happens. We are all entitled. I was going to leave it alone but then his comments to someone else who commented got to me personally. It hit really close to home, so I commented my thoughts. Just my thoughts and not confrontational or in the form of seeking to debate.

    I don’t know if he was having a bad day, if someone finally told him his pursuit of a modeling career would be better suited for a deformed mule, or if he had some new woman in his life who made him feel he had to be a jerk to any female friend who showed him attention. Whatever the reason, he went off on me in that post, attacking me as a person, bringing race into it (he was “black,” I’m “white”), and going off on one weird trail after another that made no sense and had absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand.

    When I tried to defend myself, (calmly and considering that maybe he was just going through something bad in his offline world), he started calling me a stalker, demanding to know why I was always “liking” his posts, why I shared some of the things he shared on his page (he and I were subscribed to a few of the same fan pages, which is how we met, so those shares came across my newsfeed the same as they came across his), and accusing me of trying to always ruin his day. I rarely commented on his page, just “liked” things that came through my newsfeed, and the only time we chatted was when he would comment on my page posts. Nothing was ever negative, just joking, and never a longer conversation than 1 or 2 replies.

    He posted about me on his page, forgetting to block me from seeing the post. He went on and on about the “crazy white chick” who was stalking him and how he should expect that from women on the internet since he was such a successful model. (The only modeling he did was in front of his own camera for his own Facebook business page.) It was a fairly long diatribe that sounded more like he was using me as an opportunity to talk about himself. He mentioned at one point that I couldn’t see that post, so I didn’t know that he would be removing me soon. Someone on his friends list commented that he better block me and copy all of our communication because I sounded like a stalker.

    Fortunately for me, he was Navy and since I am a Navy wife, I was able to post a comment to his ignorant status informing him that he just did a lot of damage to his Navy career from all the things I had seen him post that were OPSEC violations. I suggested to his friends who commented that they look through his page and find out just where I supposedly stalked him or trolled him.

    I was infuriated, honestly, and I let my emotions get the better of me. He was an ass. I could have just ignored the post and removed then blocked him, but I felt attacked and wanted to get in the last slap. I didn’t stick around to see any reactions. I just removed myself and blocked him. Then, of course, I posted about him on my Facebook page, to which a few people replied that they had witnessed some of it from what I affectionately call the “stalker ticker” above the chat box. They said it was good I had removed and blocked him, but reminded me of the advice I’m always giving people about ignoring jerks like that. They were right, of course, and really, what positive impact did it make in my life to get the last word on someone’s status message or to waste my time posting about them on my personal page?

    At any rate, been there, done that, got the cookie. Been stalked, too, so I have the cookie, t-shirt, and sparkly keychain lol.

    Going back to 4chan: Just because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of trolls here on WordPress, don’t forget that your link can be copied and posted on any other website, and 4chan is the worst troll nest on the net. There are 3 goals of a channer: making fun of child rape (most members are pedophiles grooming the younger members by desensitizing them), hurting people on the net (making them commit suicide earns you “Troll God” status), and trolling people so bad that they shut down their blogs/social networking page just to get away.

    It used to bother me that no one was doing anything about the site until I found out about the numerous undercover agents from various law enforcement agencies that have infiltrated it. There is now a database with all of the information for every 4chan user, and they cannot make a move on the net without someone with a badge knowing it. This has led to child porn ring busts and arrests in severe cyber bullying cases. Hackers frequent 4chan, as well, and have exposed themselves to arrests. It doesn’t change the harm they cause, though, and arrests AFTER the fact are sometimes of little consolation.

    All in all, we have to always remember that we can only control our own actions and reactions, and when we don’t respond to a troll, they will find a new target. They may return later to catch you at a vulnerable time because they really don’t forget (the internet is their life), but you just have to treat them as you did before – like dust on your screen that you brush away like a minor nuisance and go on about your day. Any more attention than that will only fuel their fire and could turn into very real stalking. Someone you think is thousands of miles away could be three streets over. “Don’t feed the trolls” really is the best advice.

    (PS: Sorry for the long-winded comment! I like to share my knowledge when I think it could be useful.)

    (PPS: I really hope those are your troll dolls because that is awesome! The only one I was ever able to get was the birthday jewel troll. Now, they have Zelfs – new version of Trolls. I bought myself … um … my daughter the whole set.)

    1. Hey, hardly anything I can possibly add to that, I learnt a lot, only thing I could possibly add is to ask you to do a guest post for me !

      Obviously my own background and personal life is private and generally the reasons you’ve given here are why and why it will stay that way. Only thing I will say is I’ve seen a lot of bad behaviour personally and as a consequence don’t suffer fools gladly.

      As for Facebook, my presence there is purely to promote my blog and have a presence. Your names are ironic, funny and essentially true.

      Only thing I don’t agree with is the making friends part at the beginning. I do follow people, many ignore, but I do gradually find a solid base of good hearted, genuine people. For that I will never apologise for speculatively following a blog. The ones that aren’t interested, fade off into the sunset, the ones that are become friends.

      Morons are everywhere, I had to deal with two in my own circle last night. I was unwell yesterday, antibiotics, they knew the situation, decided it was time to take a pop at me in my “weakened” state. My claws were ready, and I dealt with it, not such a pushover after all. I like to relax around family and friends, morons get their card marked. Unfortunately for them I’m unlikely to be “sympathetic” should they become weakened for any reason. So they’ve shot themselves in the foot with that. True friends just don’t do that, have compassion for someone who’s not 100% and don’t use it as an excuse for a little power tussle.

      So keep it touch if you want to, no obligation, and I make no promises other than to be friendly, whilst I’m being treated with respect.

      This is what I wrote as a conclusion to the trolls post – https://doncharisma.org/2013/10/13/what-is-charisma-by-don-charisma-with-a-little-help-from-richard-branson/

      Warm regards

      DC

      1. I need to make a second, more outgoing personal blog on WordPress so I can be more free to follow people. I really like your blog, and I would be honored to guest post for you.

        I know about the “true friends don’t do that” situations, which is why my personal space is best suited for a hermit. I love to talk and to listen, though.

        Let me know where I can send you an e-mail and you can tell me what you have in mind about the post or whatever else is on your mind.

        Take care!

      2. Awesome, so I’ll leave a comment on your blog and you can pick up my email address from that. Interested in guest blogs, perhaps along the lines “social manipulators, how to recognise, protect oneself and thwart them” or title there or there abouts.

        I’m not setup for sharing dashboard, so would need to be agreed privately, then I will post giving credit to you/your blog.

        Warm regards

        DC

    2. I meant to mention the troll dolls in the picture. Good that someone else has reminded me. I haven’t seen dolls like that for ages, not since my (primary) school days in England – more years ago than I intend to admit to here 😉
      I remember we used to collect them and bring them to show off in the playground at break-time (recess, for the Americans…)
      Thanks for the memory 🙂

  5. Hi, Don!

    Thanks for visiting and following my blog. I’m so glad that, because you did, I have now discovered your own. What an amazingly versatile guy you are!

    Anyway, about the trolls – I see where you are coming from when you say “troll baiting is fun, but try and have the heart the troll doesn’t have, otherwise we’ll never be rid of this nuisance”. However, this is really, really hard to live up to! It’s such a pleasure to squash the little cockroaches!
    I do have a heart, truly – but I’m not sure it should be wasted on trolls.

    1. This was written a couple of months ago, and I’ve gotten quite a lot firmer and less patient with people who are obviously trying to wind up or pick an argument. Squashed vigorously or ignored generally.

      Nice to see you following me:)

      Warm regards

      DC

  6. Informative post, thank you. I guess it is best if we can try not to buy into the negativity – it is like Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

  7. Hi Doncharisma 🙂
    Your article on Trolls is a brilliant piece of literature THANK-YOU! I have been the victim of a Troll through social media, from a person that I thought was a friend, I had created a Not for Profit Inc, that was about uniting the artists of our rural community. The troll presented herself as a truthful person of like minded interest, and when the social media site was a success, this friend then set about to tell me that what I had been doing for 2 years, which I had done 90% of the work, no longer met her high standard of professionalism, and she wanted me out and desired full control. Naturally I rebelled and stated that if I was no longer part of what I had created, the Incorporation would close. The troll then fraudulently changed the name of the social media site, and blocked me access to the page.Hundreds of abusive messages followed over the next 8 weeks attacking me personally, professionally and spiritually.Through her abusive content she lied out right with innuendo, and even implied that my lack of response to her crap was because I couldn’t handle the truth, and in fact by not answering her I was the bully. I decided that this bullying, power over childish crap was not what I wanted as part of my day, so I officially resigned from the Inc. thinking that would be the end of it and started another page Australian Artists United. The same troll that found my work didn’t meet her high standards trolls my page every day copying content without ever acknowledging where the content came from, I don’t really care about that anymore because my page and blog are done with honesty and integrity, and the growth it has received since its inception, is testimony that people also see this as well. this personal experience has given birth to the idea of creating an Art event on my social media that address the issue of bullying, I have had this idea running around in my head for quite a while, and I think that your trolling article would be a wonderful introduction to this art event that I am proposing. Many friends and family said I should have named and shamed the bully, but I personally felt that this would only bring on further attack after I had removed myself and I enjoy the peace without her abuse. I did send her abuse to Facebook but due to the clever innuendo with no proof it would appear that my proof against her innuendo is enough for Face-book to deem it not abusive. locally the community and those that are my friends know the truth and know that this person to be a control freak and a liar and cant sustain things on her own. So with your permission, I would like to use this article, or parts of as an introduction to this Anti Bullying Art Event that I propose to create, yet to be named? I will of course acknowledge your article and your link within the Art Event and would send you the intro with your content to you for your approval before publishing. great blog Doncharisma cheers Karen

    1. Hey Karen, thanks for your comment, sorry to hear of your woes. I’ve had similar experiences, and whilst there are negatives of course, I try and use it for learning and to be stronger in the future.

      I’d be happy to help, I will send you an email so you have my email address.

      Warm regards

      Don charisma

      1. Thanks doncharisma, I look forward to your email, and I agree these things make you stronger, and the reality is the bullying not only made me a stronger person but also so many positive things that I wanted to do that were squashed down by the bully are now in action and quite beautiful 🙂

      2. Hey Karen, I sent it already to Australian artists unite email … you not receive ?

        It’s funny what can come out of the negatives, often there are positive outcomes 🙂

        Cheers

        DC

  8. Damn. In my own blogging I try to both inspire people and sometimes rattle their cages. Now you have me worrying that I may be a troll …

    1. Thank you so much for kind words, much appreciated. Has been a quite high profile post, and a lot of people are of similar mind that trolls are just a bunch of idiots.

      Cheers

      DC

  9. This was a great post. I wish I would have read it prior to two trolls I had on my blog. I wouldn’t have responded so angrily to them. But as someone who is having a bad year, and grieving, I really needed to “yell” at someone, and the first troll provided an amazing outlet for that. But she also made me feel really badly about myself. But you are ultimately correct, responding politely is the best way.

    1. Hey, hear that. Within our anger there is always vulnerbility, so not surprising an “argument” could leave you feeling badly. Each situation has to be judged on it’s own merits, some trolls humour, some firmness, some anger, some compassion, up to you to use your best judgement for each situation. These little critters are out to exploit your “weaknesses” for the own personal reasons, best not to get involved unless you really have to. So first choice you should consider is not politeness, but put them in the spam queue – ignore, block, delete, forget about them. WordPress blog gives you this power so use it. If you have to get involved, because there is a significant reason, then be firm and polite, and make what you’re saying a closing statement, no questions, no accusations.

      A principle rule in martial arts is when a fight can be avoided, avoid it, it’s not cowardice, it’s common sense, ordinary logic. I have had people try to start fights with me in nightclubs, I don’t fight unless I absolutely have to. I just stand my ground in body language, talk slowly and calmly, apologise if that’s what the person wants. Every time when the person sees that I’m not reacting to them, and that I will fight if I have to, they stopped picking a fight. Often it confuses the f*** out of them, because it’s just not what they expected to happen, perhaps that’s why they back down. Why waste the rest of the evening getting kicked out or in a hospital or with the police ? Why risk my life and limb, over the fact the dudes annoyed about X, Y or Z ? Not worth it, walk away.

      So sorry to hear of your loss, it’s challenging to come to terms with significant loss for most people. I’ve lost much myself, and I’m sure you know already, takes time to heal.

      Sincerely

      Don Charisma

  10. I hope you haven’t chosen to unfollow my blog! I know I don’t post anywhere near as often as you, but I am looking to improve my blogging abilities and use yours as something of an example – it would be nice to know you see my occasional posts, too! 🙂

    1. Loving your graffiti EBEZA on your blog, really cool, I need something like this, is that a Font or did you do it yourself ?

      Always happy to answer any questions if you want to improve, if you want:)

      Best way to keep my following your blog is to follow mine, I follow all the blogs that follow me. I’m following you now.

      Sincerely

      Don Charisma

      1. Thanks! I found a website for it – I’ll find the one I used and link you to it when I’m next on my laptop! 🙂

        I saw your follow, and have followed you back as I tend to follow back, too. Do you play computer games at all? (As that’s the main point of my blog)

      2. I’d really appreciate that if you could, would be really helpful … been a while since been playing computer games, more like I used to LOL

        Cheers

        Don Charisma

      3. Haha, you may still like my channel then, as it will be a mix of new and old games!

        If I’ve not sent you the link within the next four hours, just send me a gentle reminder and I’ll get straight on with it! May be busy for that period of time though…

      4. Hey, well the last time I was playing video games serious was PS1, V-Rally I used to like … also had a PS2 … used to enjoy arcade games like space invaders, pacman and outrun … Also had a bunch of different computers before PS1 … so yes played a lot of games but nothing recent … seriously dude I had to give it up in the end, just ate all my time LOL

        Do you know you can embed youtube videos on your blog ?

        Cheers

        DC

  11. Thanks for the Award buddy..
    Just the THRILL in telling this TIT he was what he was and Schooling him was pleasure enough 😀

    But I accept, thank you my friend.

    Shaun

  12. I’ve recently had similar problems, I got past two particularly persistent ones by befriending them, then I blocked them after they started harassing my friends. Good blog 🙂

    1. Yes, I’ve had some previous experience elsewhere, and sorry to hear you’ve had these nuisances. I wanted to keep this post current and relevant to WordPress. Seems befriending and humour are strategies that I didn’t explore so much and this is moving towards a more compassionate solution (perhaps troll-r-us part2). Having said this the humour and friendship can backfire and provide ammunition as the troll spins it, so use with caution. The Axe Murderer, I’d tried being friendly, he’d spun this into something unfriendly. Also humour doesn’t always work in print, as I had to write a long explaination here for another commenter, where my humour didn’t go accross.

      Each troll or pack has to be dealt with individually based on circumstances, depends on what I think has gone in behind it and whether serious harm or malice is intended. Serious threats I will always put down hard. Same in real life, if a friend smiles and teases me and I don’t mind, I laugh along with him. If someone I don’t know lies and says I stole something with anger, malice or straight face, I will deal with this hard. If someone’s trying to strong-arm me by manipulation, he forces my hand and I may have to strong arm back, this is normal sticking up for yourself, being assertive.

      Respect is a big part of my who I am, I treat others with respect and expect them to treat me the same way. A friend told me he’s teaching his kids to treat others how they’d like to be treated themselves – same thing, respect. Without respect who are we as people ? Just a pack of trolls, doing whatever we want, taking whatever we want, saying whatever we want, hurting whoever we want ? Not personally a community/family/relationship I want to have much to do with.

      Thanks for reading and contributing, happy to have you around:)

      Sincerely

      Don Charisma

    1. Thanks for the reblog, much appreciated:) WordPress seems to have a different ethos than facebook, the ability to moderate our blogs, largely seems to keep trolls from gaining any momuntum:);)

      1. Which is cool. Probably why I only check the FB account about 3 times a week. I am not into the whole sharing of personal life on FB, and really don’t want to read others who do. I follow a few photographers, a couple celebrity sites (not as a crazy fan, but more out of what they do when out of the spotlight), and a few people who don’t shove religion or their politics down my throat. I also follow a few sites for human and animal rights and rescue.
        I will say my two little trolls I have though are very sweet and would never cause anyone trouble. Perhaps it is because they are old school, no gem in their bellies. I saw those once and just thought, “Trolls take an imagination already, then sticking a charm in the belly, no!”
        Peace

      2. Not sure if there was ever a charm to facebook for me, and the more advertising and garbage they put in there the less I want to use it for sharing anything personal, or using it at all for that matter. I removed all my personal pics, and untag myself if anyone tags me in a photo. It may have been a good idea in the start, but seems more about money than anything else now. I just use it to promote myself, given up trying to have any kind of conversation with people about anything except work. So not really a fan!

        FB are trying to make it more community oriented by stopping things like befriending people you don’t know, but probably too little too late. And personally I like making “new” friends so they couldn’t win either way with that.

        Main reason I have a FB profile is so I can maintain my FB page, that’s it really.

        WordPress been a breath of fresh air, much more like what I want to do online anyway.

        I reckon the grumpy old man type of troll isn’t such a nuisance, some trolls are amusing, but humour hard to pull off with text only. It was pointed out to me that my article extended into cyber-bullying, which is the next level of trolling which isn’t in any way shape or form healthy.

        With you on the “bling” troll, but hadn’t paid much attention till you mentioned, change happens I guess sometimes good sometimes not 🙂

        TC

        DC

  13. I have encountered many a troll before – some of them people I previously considered as friends. I think many people start to “Troll” as a self defense when they feel they are lacking in something. They are just as vulnerable as any other human being – but they handle their vulnerability in the worst ways possible!


    Mad as an artisan
    Alice’s Art Asylum http://alicesartasylum.wordpress.com/

    1. Hey Alice, I totally agree:)

      My girlfriend’s sister recently had a baby. As the baby was ill couldn’t eat properly, they thought he might die, my GF took time off work to go and help her sister and sister’s husband. I forgot to call her one of the days, and next day she phoned me and tore strips off. I could see that I wasn’t REALLY the REAL problem. So I tried not to react. Tried to talk calmly, slowly, patiently. In the end she calmed down and stopped “shouting” at me, and I gathered the rest of the story. I could see that she and those around her were suffering, vulnerabilities hurting. I tell her all the time, look if you’re upset in the future, just tell me what hurts, and I’ll help.

      One of my Scuba teachers taught me this when I lost my rag with him. He was patient but extremely firm. I now try my best to be patient, but extremly firm. We’ve been good friends to this day. I have a huge amount of respect for him being able to deal with it in such a compassionate way, and teaching me “the right way” to deal with conflict.

      So you are right everyone is in the same boat, but someone I don’t know nor trust, tearing strips off me, will be dealt with in an entirely different way than someone who’s the love of my life. Relationship is the difference, strangers are strangers, friends are friends and loved ones are loved ones.

      Thanks for chipping and contributing.

      Sincerely

      Don Charisma

    1. Hey, thanks for your comment and contributing:)

      I hope perhaps this would serve as guide to others with troll problems. Sometimes they can be dealt with with humour and friendship, but depends on individual circumstances and seriousness of the “attack” …

      Keep in touch

      Don Charisma

  14. Thanks for sharing this important information, as I didn’t really know much about these trolls before. Haven’t run into any yet, but like you said, you put yourself out there, they’re bound to show up at some time. I will now know to ignore and throw into spam. Great blog with very informative information.

    1. Thanks for comment and contributing, appreciate it:)

      And yes, it could be a measure of success if the haters start to turn out. They still need to be dealt with effectively though!

      Glad you liked

      Sincerely

      Don Charisma

  15. I don’t know how I missed checking the
    box off that allows me notifications via e-mail when you post. Mea Culpa…I love your site! I will send you my personal story in a short while and maybe I can get one of those cool buttons!

    Until I started blogging, I thought trolls were short, naked adorable creatures with hair that behaved like mine. But, Don, I have learned…oh yes…the hard way what mischief they can cause.

    1. Thanks for compliment:) I have a really tough time following all my followers and the blogs I’m following, so it’s no worries really.

      I’ve just sent you an email, probably best to chat about troll story there first before publishing. And yes of course you can have a “I sqaushed a troll award” 🙂

      Some internet Trolls are short, naked adorable creatures, it’s the nut-case ones that really need to be prepared for !

      Warm regards

      DC

  16. Great Blog Don!!
    Loved how you worded it, YOU TOLD THE TRUTH, so well done…
    We have 2 options with these SUB-HUMANS, We can argue back or we can ignore.
    I argued back once. But this lad wasn’t having a go at me, he was having a go at a RACE OF PEOPLE!
    http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/so-i-gave-a-person-an-award-he-asked-me-if-i-was-a-jew/
    I stood my ground with that idiot. And would again with other haters, Usually however, I just click spam and they are never an issue again, and if they email me, I spam that also. This is to everyone. Spam them 😀

    In all, they are Cardboard Gangsters and wanna-be tough people. Woman do this as well remember,,
    I think this is one of the best blogs I have read, and also you named people, so well done.
    Maybe we can all keep an eye out for these people and together if we see it, we can get them away from each other? I think this is a good idea. We all come here to write/share/help and share points of view. I come here to tell my personal story and also do a little writing for a paper, talk rubbish, have fun, a bit of Soccer writing and ENJOY THIS PLACE!! This is why we are here yeah?

    So is this is the start of a “Word Press Neighbourhood Watch” ???? If so, I AM IN!!…. BRILLIANT Don!! 10/10

    Really Great Blog Don..You outed idiots
    Cheers Shaun…

    ps: Can I have the Award for squashing the “Jew Hater” troll? 😀

    1. Thanks man, you’re always a source of inspiration for me, glad we met.

      Neighbourhood watch, that’s a great idea Shaun – “The Cardboard Gangster Squashers” ?

      So my first nomination for “I squashed a Troll AWARD” goes to you Shaun – badge just download off this post. Rules, display the badge on your site, and squash trolls that deserve it.

      LINK: http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/so-i-gave-a-person-an-award-he-asked-me-if-i-was-a-jew/

      Cheers

      DC

    1. My pleasure and thank you for your kind words. After dealing with the trolls, it was actually quite fun to write, I enjoyed, learn’t a lot from writing it and learn’t a lot from people’s comments, so a win all round:)

      Warm regards

      Don Charisma

  17. I have mixed emotions about this topic. I have never had a troll (thank The Lord) so I haven’t had to respond. I haven’t had a troll so maybe that means I’m still not reaching very many people. It is a double-edged sword, I think, because every effective blogger I’ve read admits to having to deal with trolls. Do I want a troll? Uh, no. Well, maybe, if it means I’ve taken my branding platform to the next level.
    There is something wrong with our society if bullies can be blamed for suicides. Where were the friends and families of these people? I tend to think there were other issues that spurred these victims to end it all, but the bullying is public and obvious (and immature and spineless), making it easy to pinpoint as a possible cause.

    1. “Possible” Sharon? In many cases the bullies ARE the reason, not possibly the reason. Feel free and read some on people that have actually killed themselves, like the 15 year old girl that was raped by her teacher and then shamed into killing herself. And guess what, that was in good old America and she had a great support system. So is it then her fault for not getting more support? hmmm

      1. I wasn’t in any way faulting the troubled teenager who felt life was no longer worth living. I just wonder why more parents, teachers and peers aren’t paying attention to the warning signs and reaching out.
        This is an emotionally charged topic all around. I appreciate Don’s fortitude for approaching it.
        Thanks for responding.

      2. Hey Sharon,

        If you don’t know him Opinionated Man is a friend likes a good debate:)

        We will never know the true truth on what happened with Hannah, the media want to sell newspapers and advertising, so they’ll say whatever’s sensational in order to do so, the truth isn’t really the issue in my experience.

        I’ve met a ton of people over my lifetime, some bold and confident, others timid and gentle and anywhere in between. Bond and confident don’t tend to get bullied so much because the bully’s haven’t got the balls, they’d rather pick on easy target, someone without a voice or ability who wont fight back.

        Also, some people just don’t have a decent support system, parents are idiots, friends are idiots, their teachers are idiots etc. Some even get abused by their own support systems, fathers, mothers, sister, brothers etc all can be abusers. I reckon it’s up to the strong ones to stick up for the less able, do their best to encourage and help people they see struggling. I tried to help people understand how to stand up for themselves in writing this, and that they are not alone.

        The bullying isn’t good, it’s cruel cowardly behaviour, so let’s tick that off the list before we start looking for other reasons why people commit suicide. Bullying is something we can all do something about, always have a choice whether to just watch and do nothing or stand up for a friend, an acquaintance or a girl on the other side of an ocean. And we always have a choice when we see someone’s hurt to stop doing what we’re doing.

        Hannah had some issues I believe, so we can’t say for 100% certain that bullying was THE cause, the bully was definitely A cause and probably a major one. What I heard about what the trolls had said to her were extemely abusive, really nasty and not what needs to be said to a girl who’s vulnerable and looking for friends and support. I have friends that if I said those kind of things to them, to their face, they’d tear me a new one, on the spot in that instant, and to heck with jail or prison. You just can’t go around saying “you’re a stupid idiot for your problems, why don’t you F*** off and die”, that is unless you’re anonymous on the internet, when you can, AT THE MOMENT.

        Any freedom is for those who have respect for that freedom, including freedom of speech.

        Thanks for contributing, useful and interesting:) And thanks also OM:)

        Sincerely

        DC

    1. Couldn’t agree more, someone said earlier that really it’s empathy or compassion that we’d like to feel, but it’s really challenging to feel that towards someone who’s intentionally committing non-consensual acts of cruelty against another person, for their own personal gratification. And yes people do have boring and shitty lives, often they get a shitty deal from their parents and support systems, and anyone that’s had a tough break knows it can be hard to find the strength to get out of it.

      Cheers

      DC

  18. I’ve had some pretty terrible run-ins with trolls/cyber bullies in the past. I wasn’t even blogging at the time; this was a group called “Get Off Myspace”. Life happened to me, and life isn’t always pretty. Apparently when things aren’t like they are on TV, some people freak out and don’t know what else to do other than be absolutely, horribly mean. Worst thing is, trolls have absolutely no idea of the term “hitting below the belt”, no sense of common human decency, and will take advantage of you in your weakest hour.

    I dealt with years of abuse from them and other trolls. I’ve changed online identities countless times… Pretty much constantly. My friends who don’t know what I was going through complain about how often I have a new nickname, or email address, or new account. I finally figured things out in my head. So I’m still different – life happens. Whatever. Now I’m working on overcoming my physical issues, and in the meantime I’m changing my attitude towards trolls and troll-like people. I can’t make everyone happy, and why should I? I’ll just be me, and the people who don’t like me can just go away. It’s not like I’m forcing them to read/watch my pages. I have the power to ignore trolls, and I use it.

    One of my awesome friends has recently started receiving attention online for our shared hobby, and of course the trolls come out. These trolls are just idiots, but there’s a lot of them all of a sudden. Thankfully, our group of friends is awesome, and every time there’s trolls, it is quickly dealt with. It’s not a blog (yahoo news articles), comments can’t be removed/blocked – so we do the next best thing – defeat the trolls with humor! I’ll tell you what, nothing will stop trolling like a large group of mermaids and mermen barging into the room and turning everything into a joke! Fat jokes? The proud-to-be-curvy mermaid with an attitude pops in and slams down. “I-wanna-see-boobs” comments? Prepare to be emasculated by at least 4 different mermaids and mermen. Seriously, how do you respond to that? It seems to work rather well, and it’s really truly entertaining to watch happen! Ah, the power of a good pod of friends…

    Very good article, sir, and well-written. 🙂

    1. Hey,

      You’re a good hearted lady, really nice writing, I’m right there with you.

      WordPress is great because I have control of what’s being said on my blog, and trolls can’t get any momentum going, spam, ignore, delete, bye bye dickhead. It’s a great community of lovely people here, talented, creative, positive and overall awesomeness.

      I reckon most normal people have their fair share of being bullied in lots of areas of their lives, and bulling trolls online is f***ing annoying. It’s good when one’s in enough of a comfort zone to baffle the trolls with humour, that’s when you know you’re truly winning and winning in a positive way. Really like to expand on that if I ever write a “part 2”, stranger things have been known.

      I said to someone earlier I’ve been on the receiving end first hand on forums, so know entirely what that’s like. I, like the other OP, had the used my own name, thought I was being authentic or something dumbass like that. But I decided to walk away, after getting no help from my peers and “friends”, they probably laughing at me in the private VIP chatroom anyway. Years later I look back at emails and what I was doing at the time, and those people were a bunch of fools and idiots, really they were, real dead weight dragging me down. These days it’s a quick in and out with forums, ninja style, get my backlinks, make myself look good, say what I want to say and then run for the hills LOL … I’d never use a public forum for sharing much that’s intimate too me, or anything really authentic, again. Forums I visit aren’t generally where trolls congregate, it’s much too highbrow stuff for a lowbrow neanderthal to comprehend, there really aren’t any easy buttons for them to press to produce those all important crack-whore highs. Best they stick to what they are good at, wanking, drugs, beer, envy and being lazy mostly ?

      Happy to have made your acquaintance, again, I think, hard to keep track, I’m a dude, I always forget birthdays and anniversaries:)

      …have followed you, and be proud if you want to follow me back.

      Warm regards

      DC

      1. Haha, yes, this is the first time we’ve “met” that I’m aware of (I, too, forget every date ever, except my birthday and a handful of holidays).

        I’ve also stopped posting too much in forums… once I realized I was making tutorials, I decided it was time for a blog. 🙂

      2. Phew, I though it was just a dude thing:)

        Blog much better place to be doing tutorials, people can find what they’re looking for in Google and I never ever found a forum search that worked properly.

        Keep in touch, and you’re blog is looking awesome, wishing all the best.

    1. Hey thanks, really appreciated:) I just do my best, all I can do … I’m Christopher Garder’s son after he’s told him not to give up on his dream and not let these trolls make me give up … So yes I keep on going, and taking things to the next level.

      Warm regards

      DC

  19. Thanks so much Don, you always bring good stuff to light 🙂
    I’m horrified about these revelations, shows you how in the dark I really am when the internet and technicalities come into play. Never knew there was a name for these morons but now I do. Very informative and precise, I’m more prepared now should this ever come my way.
    Well done for rising above them and dealing with this the CHARISMATIC WAY 🙂

    1. Thanks hun, you are someone who has inspired and encouraged me, I’m very grateful for that. Having good friends around me, makes dealing with problems charismatically easier.

      I would have liked to explained the mechanics of how these people operate, but felt it wasn’t in anybody’s best interests to help trolls get better at what they are doing. Best people can do is educate themselves, and emotionally prepare themselves so they are equipped to deal with problems.

      As always happy to hear from you, hope you are well:)

      TC

      DC

  20. Hello Don,

    I actually had you pegged as a bit of a troll a while back. I have very few followers so I pretty much know exactly what the activity in my stats relates to! I posted, you read it, didn’t like or comment, but then went to my ‘about’ page, which was blank at the time (it had that stock message) and ‘liked’ that. I was outraged! Who does this guy think he is!? If I want to write an ‘about’ I’ll write an ‘about’! My posts are very biographical anyway was my reasoning. It really got to me at the time to be honest, it felt like a put-down. It was a wee bit troll-y. So don’t throw stones, and all that!

    1. Hey, Every one of my followers is important to me, and I’m glad that you are still following me even though you were annoyed. Really honestly I’m not an enemy, I am friend, I’m definitely not a troll. Let me try to explain.

      When you leave a comment, all I see is the link to your gravatar and your email address, your gravatar page doesn’t have your blog name on it or link to your blog. Normally when someone leaves a comment I can go straight to their blog from my comments page, via I think the link on gravatar page. Could I humbly suggest that you update your gravatar page with a link to your blog ? I know that gravatar site is confusing, god knows it still confuses me, but it can be done.

      I did try to maintain a widget on the side of my blog when I was at 700 followers. Copying and pasting the links and blog names took me a whole day, and was out of date almost immediately. For 5000 and odd followers now that would take now more than 8 full days work. I did try to put all 5000 gravatar pictures on a widget over the weekend and it crashed the wordpress server and my blog was down for 8 hours.

      I’m quite a slow reader and writer, and it would take all my time 24/7 to visit every follower’s blog and read every post since last I was there, leave meaningful comments. I wouldn’t have time to produce any content, which is why I came on WordPress in the first place.

      My point is that I do my best to keep in touch with my followers, respect them, try to help by putting links to the on my blog, giving awards etc, answer questions personally, have even given emotional support. But over a few hundred people, and it’s really really challenging to give personal attention, which I initiate, to everyone all of the time. Challenging enough in fact to be producing my own content, responding to all the comments here, admin, running three blogs and living my life. This post took me 2 days to do. I’m Don Charisma, not Don Superhero !

      For me visting blogname.wordpress.com/about is a shortcut to reach a blog, I put it straight into browser and is often where I leave comments for people, especially a new follower. For instance, I just visited Tom’s about page today, and left him some suggestions for song playlists he asked for from my iphone and he’s replied said one of them great – Little Green Bag – George Baker selection. I’m always looking for these kinds of short cuts so I can get more done.

      I’ve left a few comments on blank about pages, because I used to have a blank about page myself and took me while to fill it in. I thought it would be a little nudge to encourage people to fill in theirs. I’m sorry that the humour (and empathy) didn’t carry, honestly and truly, not my intention to annoy. Personally I hate writing CVs and would like people to know me same as you do, by getting to know me, but CVs and about pages are norms that help people make good use of their time. I’d love to be better at writing great stuff about myself on CVs, have a completely killer about page and write SEO snippets like a pro, but I just do the best I can.

      I’ll never ever stop throwing stones at trolls and bullies, they behaviour just isn’t necessary or wanted in my life. I will however always try to be reasonable where I’ve upset someone, whether my fault or not, provided they are reasonable with me and treat me with respect.

      So if you’re ok, can we shake hands and make up ?

      I am busy a lot of the time, really honestly I am. My friend Danny helps with the technical side, but we don’t have the money for staff, PAs etc. You could really help me by leaving an occasional message, I don’t bite, honest and I promise to reply. In real life I have friends that always come visit me or vice versa, I don’t really care neither do they, it’s the friendship that’s important and what matters.

      I’d love to see your blog as successful as you want it to be. We’re all in the same boat here, want to produce content and have people visit and appreciate our work, so can we try help each other, instead of getting annoyed ?

      Someone helped me today (and yesterday) even though I wasn’t able to help him last time he asked me, where else can you find decent people like that ?

      It’s taken me close to an hour to write this message, I don’t mind I want to do it, but just to give you some idea of the time I put in.

      OK ?

      DC

      1. I’ll sort out my gravatar page, that needs doing. Thanks for the tip and the lengthy reply. Something about the tone I don’t like though! Have to admit. Quite possibly that’s my problem. You have an audience so more power to you!

      2. I can be blunt or opinionated or arrogant sometimes, I’m a dude, that’s normal ! Humour is more difficult to pull off when it’s not face to face, timing and smiling are hard to do. Not all of us think the same things are funny too.

        I have an audience, but still we are in the same boat, we’re trying to do similar things which should make us allies ?

        I wrote “Virgin’s guide to promoting a blog or a website” https://doncharisma.org/2013/08/30/virgins-guide-to-promoting-a-blog-or-website-on-google/ to get other people started on promoting their blogs (and websites). Share my knowledge and skills, and let people know what’s involved (and a little bit of humour). It really does take a lot of effort, trust me I’ve done it, continue to do it every day. One of my part 2’s or part 3’s will include ABP, Always Be Promoting (in sales they have ABC, “Always Be Closing”). In promoting, it’s Always Be Promoting, I have to do that in everything I do and say (well almost).

        I met a guy on a long bus journey, American (Chinese). I like to listen to my music, chill and keep quiet, myself to myself, like the opportunity to just be. We get a flat tyre, so everybody off the bus at the garage, I start talking to him, the flat tyre already broken the ice. Tell him I’m a blogger, bit about what I’m writing. BOOM, he’s hooked into the SEO, keeps on asking me question after question about it, like I turned on a switch in his brain or something. I don’t know if he’ll be a customer or a friend or whatever, but my point is that opportunities are around us all the time. My bad we got separated and I didn’t get his contact or give him mine, probably need to factor that ABC into what I’m doing.

        Promoting not about vanity after one’s created ump-teen logos and cartoons, it’s about getting the message out and getting the people to come and visit. My logos and cartoons I enjoyed doing but they are partly about branding, which may be “Virgins guide part 2”

        I really like the WordPress community, it’s an entirely much more awesome place to grow and be creative than anywhere else I’ve seen on the internet.

        And man I’m no superman, really, I have bad hair days worse than most. I don’t have lot of money, I’d love to make fortunes from internet, but maybe I will maybe I wont, I just do this because I enjoy it, love when I get in a groove and start creating something new:)

        So please keep in touch dude, as my friend Monty says “don’t let the bastards grind you down”

        TC

        DC

      3. We’re all good then:) Keep on following my blog, I keep giving away how to do this blogging shit, not a template, but a good starting place.

        Please do drop a comment on about page if you want a chat or anything…

        TC

        DC

      1. I’m going great. Busy. This blogging sneaks up on one. I start off the day with a cup of coffee while I “catch up with everyone”, then turn around and find half the day has gone. My posting has increased, too, from twice a week to five or six times, and I’m supposed to be writing the third book in a sci-fi series.

        I do love the community in here. When I first thought of blogging, I wasn’t thinking of the feedback or the interconnectedness. I never thought that it might actually have a society. Now I love it for just those things.

        While I’ve seen plenty of trolls in action on certain informative clashing-with-the-consensus science sites, I’ve been fortunate not to encounter them personally. The attacks you encountered must have come as a heck of a shock, and I never realized they could go to that sort of level.

        It sounds like you handled it all well and sensibly, and you’ve given some great advice – particularly the record-keeping.

        I am also encouraged that there have been so few trolls in the large number of visits you’ve had, so it seems that most people are pretty decent and considerate with each other.

        Cheers to you. Have a great day/evening. 🙂

      2. Tell me about it some days it’s been the whole day replying to comments!

        The “small” trolls just hurt my feelings a bit, but only a minor nuisance. Deformation and untrue allegations of criminal stuff, need to be dealt swiftly and forcefully.

        Same, WordPress is relatively troll free on our blogs, because they just get moderated out and can’t get any momentum. The Axe Murderer posted about me elsewhere on public forum as you know.

        Lovely to hear from you, do keep in touch as I’m utterly rubbish at it LOL

        Cheers

        DC

      3. 😀 No problem, Don, I shall do my best (you’ve probably noticed, I’m not much good at it either).

        Just keep being you, you can’t go wrong then. Those who know you will value you. Those who don’t and refuse to even try, well, that’s their issue. Letting them go is all you can do. Some people just love to complain. The more serious types, of course, do have to be dealt with, I agree.

        Cheers to you,

        Allyson

      4. Hey Allyson,

        No worries, just worry about upsetting people by being useless at keeping in touch, maybe that’s why I keep writing “keep in touch” !

        Might post a thing about Charisma by Richard Branson, that was essential what he said charisma is, being yourself.

        Warm regards

        DC

      5. Don, now there’s a lever those trolls will use! If you worry about upsetting people, they will prance around in front of you, claiming YOU upset them.

        Anyone here worth his or her salt will fully understand just how busy it can get just blogging, never mind adding it to an already busy life. If someone chooses to make that an issue, hand it back to them as THEIR issue and they’ll start to leave you alone.

        May I contact you privately to take this conversation further? If that’s okay, either point me to where you have an address, or pop in a “just saying hi” to any thread in my blog and that will give me an email address. I promise not to bog you down in lengthy or pointless debate, I’m just aware that this thread is highly public.

      1. For sure my friend, I got my head around what I’m doing much better now, so can make a worthwhile contribution. Appreciate your help yesteday and today, let me know if you ever need anything.

        Cheers

        DC

    1. Cheers, more like push ’em off a bridge sometimes, but yeah, under the bridge for sure. Thanks for the follow, I follow all my followers as best I can so back at you:) Cheers DC

  21. Hey, I havent had any trouble in the couple of months I have been blogging but I have seen this type of disgraceful behaviour on other social network sites. You are right, they are the weak ones who get pleasure from others suffering..and jealous of what others are doing. It is awful in this day and age. where is the love ? Great post DC

    1. Hey, it’s been relatively good here on WordPress for lack of Trolls and other idiots, not personally a great fan of FB, a dude thing maybe. Twitter was useful when I was trading the markets, not really got the hang of 160 character communications, or who sees what and how, yet. I seem to prefer 3000 word posts on WordPress LOL … I love Thai too, my GF from near where you worked 🙂

      Didn’t someone say/sing “love is all around”, got a feeling it was wet,wet,wet ?

      I just try do my best to be a loving person for my loved ones and friends, best any of us can do.

      Cheers

      DC

  22. Thanks for this post. I found your blog when you followed me, so thanks for that, because I have really been enjoying what you write. It is a shame when a few bizarre individuals spoil things for everyone else, but it certainly leaves a nasty taste. Looks like you have dealt with them all admirably though!

    1. Hey Liz, thanks for your kind words and you are more than welcome. Yes, it’s a shame when there are so many opportunities and great things to be doing, or just being (I love that too), but I guess some people are suffering too much to see it, and we all suffer from time to time. I try my best to keep it positive, creative and charismatic, makes me happy when I’ve inspired others:)

      Keep in touch

      DC

      1. Finding empathy for this sort of behaviour is such a great thing, and probably is, in the end, the absolute best way to deal with it. Indeed, we all suffer from time to time, and whilst some have been able to find positive ways to deal with it, not everyone has worked out how to, and that suffering manifests itself in destructive ways.

      2. Agree Liz, but we just have to do the best we can. Resolving our own problems, and being responsible for own happiness comes first, gives us capacity to help others. Destruction isn’t always a bad thing, a forest fire might seem a bad thing, but can allow new plants to grow that would have been shaded out by the mature trees. Perspective helps, I do my best to look at things positively, but sometimes that’s challenging !

        TC

        DC

  23. Fab post, great tips. I’m sorry you’ve had the problems but as you say something good has come out of it. Thanks and keep on blogging.

    1. Hey Carol, lovely to hear from you, and thank you. Would be great if what I’ve learn’t and shared will benefit others. It really saddened me to hear of Hannah, and when I was researching I found out there are others. Hopefully solutions will present themselves, but in the meantime it’s up to the strong ones to show zero tolerance for this kind of thing.

      I’ll keep blogging I enjoy it, brings out my creativity. WordPress have got a great community here, I’m blessed with many positive and inspiring friends, we help each other. Couldn’t be happier:)

      Sincerely

      DC

  24. I understand what you are saying, but, one has to be careful not to stick their head in the sand to deeply because sometimes reality will come along and spank you.—I do like your work, good job.

    1. My pleasure, thank you:) Reality regularly spanks one, a time for you to learn, make course corrections and get on with it, that’s life…Burying one’s head in the sand is presumably subjective ?

      Cheers

      DC

  25. Oh look.. Some familiar bloggers, well would you look at that!? I don’t think I can’t wait to come across my first troll. I’ll take them on. Patent trolls however, now that’s another thing.

  26. What you are describing, seems to be more cruel cyber bullying then trolling. I admit, I have dabbled in trolling in facebook groups back in the day. Theistic admins that pushed their weight around against atheists irked me, so I fought back.

    But I did go though a period of cyber bullying in high school, so I know how it can feel. I discovered a forum where the people from the 3 high schools were anonymosly bashing their fellow classmates, so I joined and started throwing insults the other way. And rather then being an anonymos coward like the rest, I used my real name.

    Though it did give my integrity in my own mind, if I had sympathizers, they remained silent. Being the lone wolf, I quickly seen the whole of them turn on me, and things quickly got out of hand. Between the insults and other stuff coming in there, and my other situation (call it relationship by extortion), I felt like ending it all, a lot back then.

    But both situations died down after a year or so. And I am still here to tell the tale.

    Though with some of the lingering affects even haunting me to this day, I sometimes find myself wondering if I should have taken the early exit. Though I would not know who and what I know, I also would not have to deal with the lack of friendships, fear of relationships, and a few other affects.

    But needless to say, I would never want this to happen to anyone else.

    Trolling is annoying. But cyber bullying is a whole new ball game. And anyone that forces another into drastic action because of it, should be prosecuted.

    1. Hey, thanks for your message. I’ve had first hand experience of forum trolls/bullies/idiots so understand entirely, and there are plenty of bullies out there in real life too, men and women. It’s up to those that have the strength not to put up with it and zero tolerance when the bullied are those who are young, old, vulnerable etc.

      There’s a movie I watched called “Green Street”, where Elijah Wood’s character goes through a period bulling at University. He takes the rap for his bullying friend, get’s kicked out. Ends up in London with football hooligans and learns to stand up for himself. At the end of the movie he bumps into the bully again, and shows him that he’s not a pushover anymore. A while since I watched the film, so a bit sketchy, and I’m not an advocate of violence. But what you wrote reminded me of it, going through a learning process to stick up for yourself, then being a lot stronger as a result.

      Very enlightening and candid, thank you:)

      Sincerely

      DC

      1. Don’t worry, I understood what you mean’t…more I was worried when I was writing the post that it might help trolls, so I’ve left certain explanations out…bit of a paradox, I want to help people be better equipped to deal with trolls, but I don’t want to help the trolls…makes sense ? Cheers DC

      1. Absolutely… I completely agree! I always try to make light of something in my posts since the subject of my blog is so serious 🙂

  27. The anonymity of the Internet allows people to hide their identity while exposing the worst parts of themselves to the public. They wouldn’t dare be so brazen or mean if they had to stand in front of real people. My guess is that they are jealous of your skills and talent. Write ‘em off.

    1. Hey Sharon, you’re a good friend:) I got a few friends around me, so storm in teacup really, but felt worth sharing. And yeah these empty people are probably envious, well at least that’s the least sinister of explanations. I reckon it’s about time that the strong ones stood up to these idiots, and let them no there’s no tolerance, rather than sitting on the fence. Cardboard gangsters LOL

      Cheers

      DC

    1. Thanks man, much appreciated…A fellow blogger showed me what he blogged about his run-ins with a couple of trolls … cardboard gangsters he called them, which is about right:)

    1. Hey Conrad, good to hear from you… they are lurking be assured of that! And same for me, wasn’t really into social networks myself until I joined WordPress, it’s my kind of social networking:)

      Keep in touch, I’ve followed you back, I do do my best to follow everyone that follows me, provided their Gravatar info is up-to-date.

      Sincerely

      Don Charisma

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