My Friend Has A Malignant Melanoma

There’s a few friends and mentors behind the Don Charisma blog, that I don’t mention too much. These guys and gals aren’t looking for validation through being thanked publicly, it’s thanks enough that they see me doing well.

One of my friends who’s been a big input in making my blog the success it is, sent me an email a couple of days ago. His doctors have told him he has a malignant melanoma. Melanoma is the correct term for “skin cancer”, and it can be “malignant” which means spreading, or “benign” which means not spreading.

Malignant is the worrying kind, the kind that can kill. So it’s grave and serious for my friend.

He lives in another country, so I spoke to him today on skype. I could tell he’s feeling run down from his voice, a little low and not his usual powerful boom. We chatted a while, he was making dinner ready for his family. He still has time to do for others even though he’s feeling pretty ill. Amazingly, he’s still is working incredibly hard in his job – The guy is a one man superhero.

I did try to crack a couple of jokes, but generally they are best avoided in situations like this. He smiled and ran with it, but not good taste on my part. Main thing is just to be friend to my friend, same as he has for me. We look after our own.

He’s being fast-tracked up the waiting list to see specialists. He’s likely to have to have urgent surgery to remove a large amount of skin from the top of his head. By the sounds of things they’ve caught it in time, 6 months later and his doctors think it would have been too late.

My friend doesn’t want publicity, I just wanted to share what’s going on for me (and him), as this is partly my personal blog. I tend to blog about what’s happening right now, and this is what’s happening for me right now.

I’m hoping for a speedy recovery for my friend. First because he’s a cool guy, and second because I hope that he’ll continue to be my mentor. My personal experience having been on both sides of the equation is that Mentor-Protégé relationships benefit both sides 😀

One positive to have come out of this as a renewed closeness with my friend. As for the cowardly-cynics around me – I can’t even explain how irrelevant you are right now …

Warm regards

Don Charisma

Resources & Sources

Crab – MorgueFile

Notes for commenters:

Don Charisma Warning Improvised Writing

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma

121 thoughts on “My Friend Has A Malignant Melanoma

  1. Great post. That was a great act of kindness Don. Its sad how someone that is a great person suddenly has a battle. I’ll keep him in my thoughts

  2. That story hit home a bit there, Don. I just went to the dermatologist last week to have a couple of spots checked. The doc found one on my back that I did not even come to him about. He cut ’em both out right there and then, and told me that if I had any vacation plans I’d have to cancel them. Not sure what that is all about, but I’m waiting for my results in another couple of weeks. It’s probably nothing, but the story of your mate still strikes me deep.


    1. Thanks for sharing … hopefully yours will be nothing to worry about. I’ve had a small lump removed before at the GPs and they sent for tests, no problem. So could be something insignificant, fingers crossed 😀

      Warm regards


  3. I have my fingers crossed and sending out healing vibes to you to forward to your friend. Hope he feels better soon.
    Sometimes keeping things normal and still be supporting are the best we can do to help our friends. Keeps us from becoming consumed with worry, which makes it hard to just deal with everything in general.
    Being positive is the hardest and best thing you can do.

    1. Thanks, very kind 😀 … I guess we’d all prefer that it didn’t exist, but we have to accept that it does. Talking about it raises awareness, and starts to break down stigma. So I’m putting what positive energy I can into it too …

  4. Dear Don, having personal, ongoing and close contact with someone going though a similar experience, I wish you and you friend all the best. As a family, support of friends has had such a great impact on us, that it is difficult to articulate. Dona

  5. Hi Don, firstly, thanks for following my world cup tour blog, more coming soon with this year’s tournament. On the skin cancer, R (my wife) went through this a few years ago, all recovered now and survival rates are very good (95% I think but you’d have to look that up) Saying that though if you gave me a 20 sided die and said ‘roll this and a 1 means death’ I wouldn’t want to take the chance so it’s obviously still worrying. But, for your friend, and everyone (especially those in hot sunny places like Thailand for instance :o) ) Cover up, Sunscreen, Hats, Avoid sun in the hottest part of the day, we all know the drill but don’t always do it. Cheers.


    1. Hey Dave, thanks for sharing, and agreed, no one wants their life like the roll of a dice. I was fairly sure there is a connection between melanoma and skin cancer, personally I’ve given up trying to “get a tan”, my skin often gets burnt and the tan will fade in a few days out of the sun … so not really worth it …

      Take care


  6. Hope all goes well since they caught it early enough. It’s important to keep an eye on it even after it’s gone though because sometimes they come back. Will keep him in my prayers.

  7. I know of nothing more beautiful, or precious, than a friend who stands by their friend in their darkest hour. Some of us find it difficult to find the words or courage to be present during troubling times; it takes putting aside our fears and simply accepting being uncomfortable for the sake of helping those that stand in the face of fear. I have no doubt you are a blessing of immeasurable value to your dear friend.

  8. I am sorry your friend is currently suffering. You are indeed a good friend to stand beside him. I hope he recovers quickly and is soon his old self again. Try to be hopeful, it is the best way. margaret

  9. Being in several mentor mentee relationships, I agree with you, they go both ways. Love when someone I am investing in shows me a new perspective! Praying for you and you friend, Don.

  10. Don, I am glad you were able to reconnect with your friend. I’m sure he greatly appreciated it.

    No matter the type of cancer, it is never easy.

    I lost a dear friend of mine (she was like another mother) to metastatic breast cancer last year. She was a fighter right until she passed on. So inspirational to people. It was through her fight, that I was able to move through the feelinds of my own chronic illness.

    It will be a difficult time for your friend. With a positive prognosis, and a lot of support, he’ll come through even stronger than before.

    1. Thanks Carrie-Anne for sharing, and again appologies, I’m often behind on my comments (sorry !) …

      I’m sorry for your loss.

      My friend is a fighter too, and smart guy, so fingers crossed and hopefully in a few months, we’ll be having some beers together 😀

      Sounds like you’re a fighter too Carrie-Anne, and in my experience – you’re a keeper !



  11. Prayers for your friend and his family and blessings to you for being a kind friend. One never knows about the future except that it will come. I pray for more miracles of opening his eyes to see the sun and his family in his future. and days for you to Skype and be the best friend you can.

  12. It is a good thing that you take time to acknowledge this for yourself and your friend. There have been tremendous advances in the treatment of cancer, and the ability to extend life, and the quality of life has also improved. My Mom has stage 4 cancer and the doctors have extended her life a year passed what initially was thought. Keep the hope alive and Best wishes for you and your friend.

  13. Tough moment for your friend (and for you), but the up side is that it’s been diagnosed in time, so.. some tissue removal, other in-depth check-ups which surely will decree if he needs some chemotherapy or not, we could even search blood for protein PD-L1… Timing is fundamental in this matter and according to what I’ve read from your post, your friend alerted his doctors in time.
    Fingers crossed, positive mindset and love of family and friends.
    Be positive and sustain your friend (which I know you’re already doing).

      1. Here it’s 00:42, just got home after the usual Saturday’s pizza time with friends. The dough was a little bit too salty, so I’m drinking water as I were in sheer desert. 🙂

      2. Uh… Dear Don, you know.. in some bad restaurant they add salt in order to make patrons thirsty, so they spend more money on drinks!

      3. Thank you again. You’ve catapulted me in the Emoj New World… . . oh my… that little sip of limoncello (40 grades) I’ve just drunk, does me extremely wrong … forgive me, maaaaaan..

      4. Right now.. 12,35 pm, refreshed and powerful.. ready to wear my sneakers and go jogging 😛

      5. ..noo.. what I have written? 😀 grade !! I meant ‘degrees’… seen.. I’m utterly drunk.. not make for alcohol.. have to stop 😛

      6. I knew.. :-).. .. and then you offer us such beautiful landscape… Great Don 😉

      7. I’ll be there, my friend :-).. I’m going to sleep right now… have goooooooood shoooooots 😛

  14. I hope he is eating to support his immune system whilst going through this. One of the reasons why I do green smoothies with powdered kelp. I read it’s like an internal type of sun screen. Your friend will be in my daily prayers. Friends are the best part of this world path and they make this life worth living ❤

    1. LOL, thanks and yes he was preparing dinner, curry and rice I think … he likes his food … whether I’ll persuade him for powdered kelp and smoothies, well I can try !

      And yes friends are important, without them we could be on our own 😀

  15. Well, Don, we’re ‘running’ into one another again. There is hope for your friend. My sister has had two bouts with Melanoma. Small ones….but they caught both early. She’s been cancer free for ten years. Doing everything ‘right’ ever since that very first day. Praying for your friend, Don.

  16. I am sorry to hear this. Melanomas are a big killer in Australia because of the constant sun exposure. I truly hope that this has been caught in time and your friend comes through.

      1. I don’t know what it is but it is the biggest cause of cancer here. I know I regularly have my body checked and encourage the GG to do the same.

  17. I know what you are going through as I too am going through that with a friend with malignant melanoma except his wasn’t caught in time. The good thing is that even at the end stages the breakthrough with treatment has been more than remarkable and with each day that passes comes a day closer to another even better treatment being found. As your friends has been caught early he will hopefully do very well. It does bring you closer and puts life in a lot of perspective. Thinking of you both.

      1. Thanks. I meant to say also – I have found that just being yourself and saying whatever you want to say whether it be jokes or diving right in and saying things you feel you shouldn’t is much more appreciated by the person than all the pussyfooting that goes on around these things. Your friend is lucky too. XD

      2. Thanks Irene, my joke was a little crass, kind of kicked myself after I said it, happens sometimes ! … it seemed funny to me, I reckon he got the funny side too, he’s pretty tough guy and he knew I wasn’t being intentionally hurtful … I do often just be myself and say what I want, but try to temper it with a little bit of thinking about how it’ll be received, some people’s egos are more fragile than others … my words seem to reach quite far and wide these days … thanks again for the award, I did see the comments … well handled … Cheers Don

  18. Sorry to hear about your friend, Don. Not a good diagnosis. They do seem to be making progress in this area. Keep safe.

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