On Being A Leader And A Powerblogger – Charisma’s Not All Plain Sailing

I’m friends with two of the largest “powerbloggers” on WordPress. Both these guys are smashing, awesome people and I constantly learn from them. I don’t see these guys as competition – they are my mentors and friends. They are largely about friendship and community, whilst sharing their talents.

DonCharisma.org-Baseball-Coach-morgueFile

I don’t have a problem with being in the shadow of these dragons, they have always treated me with the utmost respect and friendship. I reckon they feel the same way about me, as that is how I try to treat others. Respect 101.

Thing is, I’m often confused about what they are doing, generally I take a step back, think about it for a while and learn something. Sometimes they even explain to me what they are doing, which I’m always very grateful for. So I’m very privileged to know these guys, and very thankful to know them as my friends.

What I’ve seen from time-to-time is new bloggers that just don’t seem to get what we’re about. And that’s fair enough, neither did I when I first started blogging.

WHAT IS A POWERBLOG AND A POWERBLOGGER ?

Leaders in blogging progress from simple blogs, into communities, which is what powerblogs are really. Our blogs start to take on a life of their own and we start to act more like conduits for what’s going on around us rather than just “a blog”. Sure we put in our own ideas, and try to inspire and motivate, and encourage people to be creative, but it starts to move from a simple blog to a community which we’re having to act as ROLE MODELS and LEADERS for.

SO – A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF MY TIME IS SPENT DOING STUFF FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

We also find that we have less or no time to visit other blogs, especially with the numbers involved, one blogger has 36000 followers and another over 50000 followers. If we spent 5 minutes visiting each of those blogs that’s 180000 minutes and 250000 minutes respectively. Or put another way 125 days and 173 days working 24/7, nearly 6 months, basically without rest, sleep, eating, doing anything aside visiting other blogs. It’s impossible basically.

What’s my point ? Leaders in blogging act and behave differently partly because of the scale of what’s going on for us. We do our best to give individual attention, but it’s virtually impossible to run a busy blog and give the individual attention we’d like to every other blogger we know. It’s sometimes challenging enough just to keep up with comments on our own blogs, and give individual attention here on our own blogs. I’ve blogged about this already.

I like the one-to-one interaction with most people, so I continue to do my best to reply to comments personally, visit other blogs when I have time (although heads up on relevant articles is appreciated) and comment and like when I get time.

I’ve received various criticisms from people, and I’m sure my fellow powerbloggers are the same, having received the same kind of crap. And as I said earlier I can empathise with this to a certain extent coming from nothing myself and building a large blog, I’ve seen it all, or almost all. Politely, experienced bloggers and powerbloggers term this – “new bloggers” – newbies, greenhorns or virgins essentially.

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A recent critic/newbie who I can’t figure out whether they spin because they are stupid or because they have a political motivation, comes to the end of their piece, after having been extremely critical and says exactly the same thing I’d been saying all along. They had the good sense not to name my blog, but there aren’t that many large blogs such as mine so someone reading between the lines could figure it out. For now I’m putting it down to a lack of understanding, should it escalate then I may choose to defend myself. Perhaps the axe-murderer wants some company on my public blacklist ?

I recently blogged about people doing petty stuff, leaving petty comments. It’s childish stuff, really I don’t have time for it, and find it boring. I’m sarcastic about it and write posts about it for humour, let off a little steam and share my experiences with my readers – I think it’s in everyone’s interests to be aware of the pettiness going on. Also gives me a chance to exercise my creative writing muscles, so I’m usually winning either way. Alongside with that I’ve also blogged about lonely people, and that may be a reason behind it, the pettiness that is. If people are lonely and fed up, I don’t mind them coming to visit me – I do my best to have a chat on my blog with them, as long as they are not making their problems my fault. Being petty and rude, I can’t abide by. Petty or manipulative politicians I can’t abide by either.

BEING A LEADER

Being a powerblogger is a leader. Leaders have to act as GOOD ROLE MODELS and to take the lead. That means making decisions, giving direction and to a certain extent providing stability. These are not easy things to achieve day in and day out. We do make mistakes, and learn to lead better along the way. I already blogged about “I’m not perfect” – most decent normal people get this, they take it into account when I make dumbass decisions. I do make them, not going to lie about it, and make out I’m perfect, I’m not, simple as that.

We as leaders and powerbloggers do get morons sniffing around looking for chinks in our armour. Yawn, come on, have you got nothing better to do with your time ? Ever thought about trying to make friends as opposed to looking how you can fight your way through life ?

The attack strategy that’s employed is tried and tested and very familiar to me – there’s nothing clever or well thought out about it. Largely it says some very bad things about the moron who’s trying it, and little or NOTHING in the way of anything bad about me. T-shirt philosophers I call them, take everything at face value and spin everything so it suits their purpose, obviously leave out any positive things the person did. Spin, misinterpret, misrepresent, lie, leave out, half truths, want me to go on ?

I believe the same as most martial artists do, which is I don’t engage in a fight unless I have to. Self-defence and self-preservation 101, all fights have the risk of injury on both sides – it doesn’t take a super-brain to see this. I have never seen the sense in picking random fights with people, that’s not as far as I can see the trait of a leader. Doing it publicly really only makes the person look like an attention seeker. It seems largely prison/jailhouse mentality, and basically once someone’s picked a fight with me, I never fully trust them again. Or put another way they’ll never be able to feel safe and trust me again. Obviously within reasonable limits, sincere apologies go a long way in building bridges and extending olive branches. No-one’s perfect I already said that, and forgiveness is a charismatic trait.

Not meaning to be sexist, but women I’ve found on WordPress largely seem to get all the above. Occasionally I’ve had disagreements, and bit later on it’s all resolved and forgotten about. Compromise and common sense almost always prevail. Dudes on the other had seem to want duels at dawn, “pistols or sabres”, it’s a win or lose, fight to the death scenario, with compromises and relationship not possible. Bit pitiful really because there’s little chance of any ongoing relationship. So for this reason I’d say my generally experience is that women are usually more socially intelligent than men.

I’m not saying that women are more intelligent than men, per se, I just don’t think men have generally thought it through or spent enough time learning to be socially intelligent. Drinking beer, playing sports and masturbating (with or without other men) aren’t conducive to learning social skills. Social intelligence comes from practice and a willingness to learn, and having experienced the occasional complete and utter faux pas’ done at one’s own hands. It’s all good learning in the end, although often it didn’t feel like it at the time !

CONCLUSION

Is there a silver lining – YES, indeed there is. Every time I have morons pick a fight with me, I learn something new, and become better able to ignore or defend myself. So in a kind of round about way I ought to be thanking stupid people for teaching me to be smart and updating/upgrading my armour. “Rhino skin” a friend said to me yesterday. So thanks MR and MRS Moron, you are my teachers, however as already indicated are never likely to be my friends. You could have chosen the friendship route to start off with and we could have been friends – my blog doesn’t say anything apart from “I’m a friend”, nor do I generally. Your choice, up to you.

I do believe anyone can learn to be a powerblogger or leader, but it takes Charisma. And I also do believe that anyone can learn to be Charismatic. So this writing is potentially for everyone, not just for powerbloggers or leaders.

Being a person who looks beyond the smoke and mirrors, beyond the T-shirt philosophy, beyond the surface, is Charismatic material.

OR Put it another way, look for the positives and you will find them, look for the negatives and you will find them – Charisma is simply taking the positive road.

The positive road is what goes into a successful blog. The negatives are what goes into a soon to be abandoned blog with no followers or visitors.

It’s not such a hard choice and bottom line – you are the one who makes it.

Warm regards

Don Charisma


Resources & Sources

Photos – morgueFile.com


Notes for commenters:

Don Charisma Warning Improvised Writing

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma



75 thoughts on “On Being A Leader And A Powerblogger – Charisma’s Not All Plain Sailing

  1. I want to be in Florida? Wth OM? haha
    Yet another great article, Don. Success comes not without hardships. ..and reaped rewards vary. I dont think I need to be a powerblogger, personally, but you’re Bella good at it 😉

    1. Thanks Hun, and I’ll stick here in Thailand, it’s hot and the girls are friendlier than florida 🙂 oh and I have a girl here already, and would miss her in florida !

  2. The positive road for me!
    Hey Don.
    Read this recently;
    Boys grow up playing next to one another. (hunting, fishing, PS3 and it goes on)
    While girls grow up facing one another. (tea parties, dolls etc.)
    I know it’s quite general but the author recons that this is the reason why women always win arguments with guys. They just communicate better, loads more training than us 🙂

  3. Very interesting to read about this different approach to blogging…I’m not looking to be a “powerblogger” myself, but it’s interesting to look at other perspectives on what can be done with a blog.
    I won’t rehash everything I’ve read about the differences in social conditioning of men and women, but that part along with the martial arts bit made me wonder— have you encountered the same “duel to the death” sort of mentality in men who have seriously studied martial arts as a discipline, or do you think it creates a shift in that kind of perspective?
    (would love to get back into studying martial arts, but it can be so expensive here!)

    1. I’d suggest watching Karate Kid, there’s a paradox/duality in that with two different trainers, obviously the Jedi/Light side learns for self-defence the bad side learns for attack for personal gain … and I don’t think it’s necessary to have had martial arts training to realise that most fighting is stupid and puts both parties at risk … and why would any right minded human being want to put themselves in unnecessary risk ?

      Every human being is vulnerable, without exception …

  4. Oneupsmanship is manifested to inflate ones idea of being full of themselves. Not sure about charisma though? As one who loves to paint, I find other peoples art inspiring.

  5. This reminds me of the business world and line employees.

    “Where is my Manager?”

    “Why is my Supervisor not here with me all day?”

    “What is Billy Joe doing?”

    Well, they are working and doing tasks that you are not doing like going to the HR meeting or explaining the line budget to the capital team.

    No one ever gets a promotion from monitoring others while a task should be in the process of completing. Works the same way in other aspects of our life.

    Focus on solutions and growing.

  6. Well said Don. The most successful people know how to pick their battles, and they know who’s worth fighting with. Your blog’s success is inspirational. Thank you

  7. You explained this well – and I really hope folk see your words here for what they are. Because YES…a great community is exactly what springs forth unto us all from such people who can handle the pressure you guys deal with (and the scrutiny)
    ‘With great power comes…’ YIP – SPiderman.

    1. Thanks hun … open man seemed to like it, he offered me a beer … in florida … bit too far to go for a beer …

      Joking apart yes we do have to handle this kind of pressure day-in da-out, and I reckon most decent bloggers realise that …

      Spiderman, yay !

      1. I saw this – chatting with the man on the other line.
        Love that – so cool! 😉 We could all be sitting around with a brew in hand yeah!

      2. Sounds like a plan. No sunset here today – grey.
        BUT we had a nice fair weekend! 😀 (got some beautiful photos with the teen too!)

      3. I found a nice sunrise for a change … have an idea for a prompt, but not sure if I can pull it off … I’ll start it and see how I feel about it …

      4. No – YOU are awesome 😛
        No arguments ‘k.
        (but yeah – I am a little awesome sometimes too)

        Oh – oops –
        It’s a pleasure 😀

      5. I just lost track there. SUPER multitasking between kitchen and here right now – do you mean for the sunset prompt?
        Hang on – YES! THAT WAS it!
        Coming back to check later – DO not let me down now see. I have a LOVELY photo (either the daughter or the me – we share the camera. I TRY not to steal it from her …but sometimes it is VERY terribly hard you see….)
        Laters Don – off to do tea/dinner – still do not get that ‘tea’ business….

      1. Ah, well do have a lovely time my friend, and I hope you’ll be rested and refreshed … we’ll all still be here when you get back … have a beer or two for me 🙂 warm regards to you and your family … Don

      1. Yup, I’ve heard people advise me “Don’t trust anyone”, and whilst it’s a bit cynical, it’s often good advice … true friends are special, but they know that already 🙂

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