Fashion Addict VS Enjoying The Here And Now

Why is it that we chase new experiences ? To boldly go where no man (or woman) has gone before ? Pioneers, explorers and fashionistas, it’s all the same thing, really. The glory of being first, or, well, at least the glory of having a new experience, and perhaps being one of the first to experience … who could deny that this feels good ?

Could be a killer pair of shoes, a dress, or for boys a new gadget, widescreen TV, new designer clothes, or whatever “floats your boat”. It’s that Christmas eve feeling of anticipation, then the peak of experience in the achieving, getting, having or doing, opening presents Christmas morning.

Is it healthy all this chasing the NEW, the unexplored, the uncharted, the desirable or, and I hesitate to say this, the forbidden ?

Why do we go to a party with the most gorgeous girlfriend/wife or handsome boyfriend/husband, and still find ourselves looking around at the “talent” ?

SOME might say, oh, you’re addicted to shopping, addicted to fashion, addicted to porn/sex, addicted to X, Y or Z – HUSTON YOU HAVE A PROBLEM … YOU’RE AN ADDICT … NOT I, I don’t say this, why tie myself up in knots with guilt or shame ?

I look for the why before pointing a finger. WHY then do we chase new experiences, why aren’t the old/current ones good enough ?

I reckon it’s partly the child in us, children love to explore and try out new things. Their minds are like sponges, they need and want to be stimulated, to grow and learn. Healthy use of imagination, and of fantasy goes into it. What will I feel like when I’m wearing those killer shoes and dress. And boys probably won’t admit to it, but imagining all those movies or sports in a vivid clear experience on an 80″ flat screen TV, well, it’s a boy’s wet dream, not to put too fine a point on it.

If there is a problem, which I don’t think there really is, then it’s when we start to lose sight of the HERE and NOW, of what we already have in favour of the NEW. Obsessed and focused on the future, so much that we lose track of what we already have and the people that are already around us. Too much “doing” and not enough “being” is also a factor.

Not something to feel bad about, or guilty or ashamed. I won’t preach those things. The only thing I’d suggest is awareness. When we’re aware, we can be like “Ah, hmmm, maybe I’m spending a bit too much time obsessing over dresses or widescreen-TVs, time to take a reality check and enjoy the dresses I already have and the TV that I watch every day”. Don’t forget to enjoy the things we’re passionate about, without passion what are we ? Stoic automatons ?

The bottom line for me is that enjoying what we already have (and are, and can do) is a key to happiness.

And for my next trick … “Stuck in the past” …

For bottom feeders (summary readers)

Becoming addicted to the NEW is a potential pitfall that most, if not all us can become trapped by. New experiences are great, necessary, fun and important. But do keep one eye looking at what’s right in front of you, for what’s in the “right here, right now” … If you want to know the rest then read the whole thing.


Don Charisma

Resources & Sources

All photos from morgueFile – thanks morgueFile

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Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma

117 thoughts on “Fashion Addict VS Enjoying The Here And Now

  1. Yes of course!

    “Fear not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea; I will help thee; yea I will up hold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10).

    Antonio Sherman

  2. Great post Don.

    Balance… It’s easy to say but hard to do. Most things have been done before or said before or bought before but the “new to us” keeps us learning and striving and dreaming. Keeping the new in proportion can help us to move forward in our lives. But you are right – it is very important not to make life just about new stuff (materialistic goods) – that is the way to the dark side…

  3. Don, I think people pursue the ‘new’ in order to be special. Everyone likes to be special. And then there are those who want to superior. As far as those who only want new experiences, it’s the same as with everything, too much of anything is not good.

  4. As a young man I often wondered what God looked like. The commonly held view being a huge looking fellow with long flowing white beard and a booming voice. There didn’t seem to be many other descriptions, then I read that He or perhaps She, could be referred to as the All; the Alpha and the Omega, the Seen and the Unseen, all that Is and all that Isn’t. Everything; even the Good and the Bad.

    It occurred to me then that the Divine Presence could well be regarded as the Non-Presence; a duality of all experiences, which somewhat varied from most other religious views. So I decided to develop my own, one-man religion: the Smorgasboard of Life, realizing that in this world, good can’t exist without bad. Our feeble brains can’t determine where we are in the scheme of things without comparison, without a reference point, somewhere between good and bad, dumb or smart, or rich opposed to poor. This is the only reason that a human being could subject themselves to programs that highlight the lives of the rich and famous.

    Ah ha … It seemed to me that life’s duality created the real purpose in our lives. For instance, some of us have, or seek certain virtues that determine our pathway through life.

    Mr. X wants to be courageous, because of all the beatings he received as young Mr. X, so he chooses courage. The question is, what’s courage worth, if you have no adversary? Hence, ladies and gentlemen, the need for The Smorgasboard. It contains every experience we have ever sought. After all, once we determine a want, we can’t become it until we’ve experienced it. Thought is just a vapor, unless we bring it to life and realize it by doing.

    We get to choose from and partake of, The Smorgasboard, whenever we like. Not only that it’s free, although I am considering a small club, oh, I mean religious membership charge. I’ll make a fortune, because it’s impossible to not be a part of the feast. Without an opposite reference point, we would literally ‘chase our tail’. After all, what carrot or potato could live without peas?

    Now here’s the big question. How, if we choose the smarts, can we ever see humanity in the same way again? In the Smorgasbord, we’re all connected and needed for each other’s journey; your enemy being as precious, or perhaps even more valuable than your best friend … and if God is indeed the all, then there’s no difference between the carrot and the pea … and His name may well be Ken.

    Now, all that’s left is to consider my fee. Any ideas?

    1. Very thoughtful writing Ken, I enjoyed, it’s right up my street … I’d perhaps consider the catholic church’s model, they are after all the richest and most powerful charity on the planet … I think they work on a donation only basis, no set fee ?

  5. Great post; asking the right questions (Does it really make us happy to chase after material belongings?) but not judgmental at all! After all, the wish to get better and discover new areas is what led to important inventions…
    I enjoyed the reading.

  6. Very good blog Don! I really like it and good insight. I was feeling it all the way though and I am happy that you made the comment of “I’m happy with what I wear…and not trying to impress…klean and presentable” Just love that great Charisma….

  7. I think we all have the tendency to do that. It took me a lot of years but I have realised that I have an obsessive tendency within my personality. I have learned to take a step back and analyse things before the latest obsession sends us broke. (although is fabric an obsession?)

    1. I don’t know is fabric an obsession, perhaps addiction I don’t know hun …

      And yes, putting some balance in doesn’t hurt, and can stop us getting burnt out or losing things that matter to us 🙂

      1. Addiction…. obsession… it’s all the same to the GG who keeps telling me he is going to have a garage sale and clean out my stash! lol

      2. Don’t think that’s work Suz, you need to write Gazillions of posts singing my praises … we could dominate google together … what a thought !

      3. Not chaining you to the keyboard or anything lol I’m just killing time until my friend gets here and then we’re going to a quilt show. 🙂

      4. Never saw the movie so I don’t know. But no, we all co-exist together so when one is happy the others are. If something I was doing upset them then I would look at readjusting that.

      5. That’s open to conjecture but I thank you for your kind words anyway.
        And now my friend is late, so I’d better get off the computer and find out what’s happening.
        Time for you to sleep now. lol

  8. Well, we chase after new experiences because that is what life is – trying out new experiences! Isn’t it wonderful that we have so many choices?!! How dull would it be to be stuck in a time warp of old experience. Love your web site–it is innovative, refreshing and inspirational! I will enjoy following your “experiences”! Thanks for hooking up with my art blog – it’s still very much in the development stage (but then aren’t we all? LOL)

  9. Yes, Don… the recipe of real happiness is that: “enjoying what we already have and are”.. I agree, anyway there’s always space for improvements 😛 (( which I don’t success to )) 😛 😛

  10. Must… have… new… Barbie 🙂
    This is very true.There’s such a thrill in getting something new, even though the stuff I already have is perfectly adequate most of the time.

  11. Interesting piece…I think that curiosity and interest in new things and experiences can be healthy, but only if you are truly living in the moment and appreciating everything you are and have right now; those new things should be a lovely added extra and not a necessity; what defines you is who you are right now, not what you just bought or are wearing. I feel quite strongly about this one..if someone is constantly chasing the new, there would seem to be something missing to me…x

  12. Yes agreed… so true! Also we need to express ourselves in all kinds of ways too. On the darker side… our desires can be a bottomless pit. When i was in my early twenties i would get stoned and ask myself what’s “it” is all about. I was living in NYC at the time and before me was a sea of fashion, lifestyles and choices of all kinds. One thing i realized then is there is no end to desires which can run us astray and keep us lost in the sea of materialism if not kept in check… but later in my forties I forgot this and i got lost into materialism and desires for a few years until i was given a rude awakening from the universe… thank goodness! which is why you are saying we need reality checks. Questioning Self is good. ^_^ thanks Don.

    1. LOL, if you think you’re crazy then chances are you don’t need one … my experience is the people who reckon they are sane are the ones that usually need the shrink 😉

  13. You are right, it is important to remember and be grateful for, what we already have or are. Then the law about attraction also get the time to work for next step.
    If we forget to be curious like kids, we are more like living dead without the joy and happiness.

  14. Fabulous post Don! I can relate on so many levels but now I live in the moment and love the person I’ve become. Cheers!

  15. Fabulous post Don! I can relate on so many levels but now I live in the moment and love the person I’ve become. Cheers!

  16. I am an odd shape – I am not being self deprecating but modern fashions are a waste of time for me, but I still sit in the hairdresser, reading the latest Vogue! However, I also get great satisfaction when I get last summer’s clothes out of the wardrobe and they still fit. Great post Mr. Charisma – love the pooch – no low self esteem there.

    1. LOL, odd shape you and me both ! … I’m happy with what I wear, usually not trying to impress, like to keep clean and presentable … pooch made me laugh, so I guess some others will too …

      Warm regards


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