Being Ignored – The SEO Angle

My professional integrity says that I keep my personal life largely to myself in my work. I find when more problematic/troublesome situations come up, I prefer to work on my art/photography/visual side of things or if I’ve got myself extremely busy then cease blogging all together. I do this because words cannot be taken back once written, and sometimes I just don’t want to write what I’m thinking or even be writing about something else whilst I’m thinking it (include feeling in that).

We’re all learning all of the time and this is about what’s on mind my mind, without talking about what’s on my mind, if that makes sense ๐Ÿ™‚

AOpinionatedMan.com Daughters
AOpinionatedMan.com Daughters

This blog is my combined personal / professional site, so I do sometimes share what’s personally relevant to what I’m doing professionally … also what this post is about.

My friend Opinionated Man recently gave me the heads up on a powerblogging series that he was writing onย http://shatteredsmoke.com/about/ย (do a search for “Powerblogging” on Shattered Smoke and you’ll find them). Opininionated Man is an inspiration to me. Why ? Many reasons, his pioneering spirit for one. ย In this instance because I fit his powerblogger definition and there aren’t actually that many of us. We’ve become friends and he helps me out from time to time, as do I with mentions such as this one.

DonCharisma.org-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-peopleSo why OM and “being ignored”? He mentioned in passing in his powerblogging series, some of his earlier experiences blogging. One of which was leaving a comment on a much larger blogger’s blog and being ignored. He knew he’d left the message, but days went by, other content went up on the other blogger’s blog and OM had been ignored. I’m with OM entirely on this, that’s just plain rude really. I reply to every comment on my blog even if it’s only a smiley face to acknowledge that I’ve read it. ย It doesn’t take a genius to work of that politeness is a social nicety that most people expect. Dale Carnegie 101.

With the caveat of course that people who lack respect for whatever reason, I don’t think about them too much and ignore them (see my disclaimer at the end of this post).

Why reply to every comment ? Well there’s psychology (and empathy) behind it. My belief is that we all want (and perhaps need) to be heard. It takes effort and investment to say something, more-so to say something meaningful, and more-so again to say something that’s TO and FOR the other person and not just to ourselves. What I’ve generally found is that probably 90% of my commenters just want to be heard, a conversation is optional, yes if the opportunity presents, great have a chat. Also most my commenters expect to be acknowledged, smiley face, thank you or yes that’s very pertinent. A lot of them don’t reply to my replies to their comments. This doesn’t cause me an issue, as I said already conversation is optional, shouldn’t be forced.

DonCharisma.org-See-Hear-Speak-No-Evil

One of the things that I truely love about blogging and being a blogger is that I do get listened to. It’s truely something I’m grateful for, and I am entirely thankfull for every person that reads my blog. Surely I’m the same as any other blogger, we started blogging because we had something to say that we’d like to be listened to (or viewed or watched, for visual, video blogs)

One of the reasons I stopped going to bars, clubs etc so much and stopped drinking so much, is that I found that a lot of conversations I was having with people they don’t even bother to listen. They’ll have strategies for appearing to be listening, but actually all they are interested in is reeling out the same old shit. They’ve trained their brain to pick out the keyword and they just respond to that as opposed to engaging. Or they just start talking at the same time as me, leaving me to either not say what I wanted or raise my voice to be heard. One guy I know (or don’t now I’ve lost touch), continually goes on about how angry he is. I try steer the conversation in a different direction, and I’ll get ignored and he’ll steer it back to how X did this and Y did that and how he wants to rip their heads off. I try to be a calming influence and a friend, but in the face of CONTINUAL being ignored I eventually dropped him. I don’t need friends like that – why should I accept a one-way friendship ?

In a world of ideals authentic, two way, listened to conversations would take place all the time. But I’m not naive enough to believe that the world is rose-tinted and everyone has good intentions towards me. Bottom line is that a lot of people don’t have good intentions, quite the opposite. There are some really f***ed up people out there. So whilst I try to be as virtuous as possible in regard to not ignoring people, sometimes, I’m the one doing the ignoring.

DonCharisma.org-Aretha-Franklin

It would be easy for this to cause internal conflict without guiding principles. “How I can ignore other people when I don’t enjoy other people ignoring me – hypocritical ?”. My guiding principle is this respect isย RESPECT. If people treat me with respect, they get it back. If they don’t treat me with respect they don’t get it back. Within my respect comes authenticity, friendship, virtue and in some cases love.

So what about people who have some “power” over me ? I’ve come across people who think they have some kind of power of me, could be because of status, wealth or that they carry a firearm, for instance – Haven’t we all ? Do I respect these people because of they are running a company, rich parents, have a lot of money or they are the chief of police, NO, NO. Without their respect I do not. I will however play the game with them were I have to. And I believe that every person should train themselves how to play this game. It’s called “f*** you back”. It’s not a childish rebellion game, it’s a game of SELF-RESPECT and of good interpersonal boundaries … how can you expect other people to respect you if you don’t even respect yourself ? RESPECT YOURSELF nah, nah, nah, yeah !

DonCharisma.org-Staple-Singers

Having power over me purely by force or circumstance I WILL NEVER HAVE GENUINE RESPECT for the other. They’ve forced me into inauthenticity by their own lack of respect. All other people are my peers bar none. Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir, whatever you want sir … but no you’ll never see that look of respect in my eyes, if you continue to delude yourself that you’re superior to me.

DonCharisma.org-Harrison-FordI like how Harrison Ford handles this in one of the “Indiana Jones” movies. He plays “dominated” in the face of insurmountable “authority”, but soon as he has his opportunity, he takes the power back again. I don’t remember which movie, maybe one of my readers has a better memory than me ๐Ÿ™‚

So I guess that’s another angle, being ignored can be a covert or overt dominance strategy. Try to dominate an already dominant force will always cause friction and conflict. F*** you back, covertly or overtly,ย as far as I’m concerned, as I said that already.

Respect and humility are linked. Depends on the context and severity, but as already mentioned I don’t take kindly to being ignored. For instance if I say “no you can’t have my wallet and the money in it” and that person then takes it, I’m doubly annoyed. Firstly they stole and secondly they ignored my wish, my feeling, what I want.

Sure there’s a need for compromise and compassion, and for good humour and fun. People are forgetful and sometimes don’t reply to comments for any number of reasons that aren’t “being ignored” on purpose. Maybe they are sick. Maybe they are busy. Maybe they just missed it because they had a mountain of work to do. Maybe they don’t monitor that social network so much. There are a million authentic reasons that are not disrespectful as to why someone might not reply (or listen). My point is that not all “being ignored” is a lack of respect, sometimes it’s lettable-offable. Usually if it’s lettable-offable the other person will just say “sorry” or least say why they weren’t able to respond. What I don’t find lettable-offable is where the other person is defensive or argumentative about it or try to justify their rudeness adding to it with arrogance.

So where’s the SEO ? SEO is one of those buzz-words that way overused. Generally people seem to mean marketing or promoting. My promotional point is that acknowledging and responding to people builds good will. It sub-communicates values of respect, humility and a “not-trying-to-dominate” attitude of a peer relationship. ย Good will builds mentions on other people’s blogs/websites and therefore links and Google presence. It also in my opinion builds trust, trust is also a valuable commodity in promoting, or sales for that matter. I have a friend who works at one the main Swiss banks, I think he’s a “Trust Director” or some BS job title like that.

DonCharisma.org-The-End

In summary, being ignored is something that almost all people don’t enjoy, and may become annoyed about. There can be a lack of respect or a lack of humility present, which is generally why people get upset about it. It can be a “trying-to-dominate” strategy. Alongside this, not all being ignored is malicious or with a bad intention. It can be that the person doing the ignoring has entirely good intentions.

From an SEO/promoting perspective, responding to genuine readers of your site, as their peer (or with as much humility as much as possible) is important and will help your site be successful (or not). As OM likes to call them “Powerbloggers” know this, although it’s not exactly rocket science.

And lastly from a professional perspective I believe one can include life’s difficulties in what one is creatively doing, with a positive outcome for both reader and writer (or artist and viewer). That’s writing alchemy, or creative alchemy. Charismatic creativity. Or maybe Creative Charisma. I don’t know, I’m not a writer, pick what you like best.

Cheers

Don Charisma


Resources & Sources

OM’s Daughters – aopinionatedman.com
See, Hear, Speak No Evil Photo – morgueFile
Harrison Ford, Aretha Franklin & The Staple Singers – wikipedia creative commons
Dale Carnegie Book Cover – wikipedia/stephendriscoll.wordpress.com


Notes for commenters:

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is aย public blogย and you are also reminded toย thinkย before you press the โ€œpost commentโ€ button.ย 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person โ€“ so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you canโ€™t comply, press the โ€œunfollowโ€ button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but canโ€™t always reply. Iย will comment if I think thereโ€™s something that I can add to what youโ€™ve said.ย I do delete without notice comments that donโ€™t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully.ย Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards,ย Don Charisma



120 thoughts on “Being Ignored – The SEO Angle

  1. Very well done. Like so many, I agree with idea we all want to be heard. We do live in a society of key words and cliff notes. Maybe, I’m a little crazy but I would hope if someone takes the time to read and then comment, than I have succeeded in my blog. If more than one, all the better. I’m finishing my first year. The idea of thirty people seemed huge, at over 350 on WordPress and Twitter is fantastic. But the best part is gaining from the perspective of others is what it’s all about. Thanks for the post and OM for sharing it!

  2. Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
    Revisiting an old friend and found this old post of his. Makes me miss the powerblogging days. I appreciate the shoutout Don as always! Yours is a blog definitely worth following! -OM
    Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

  3. I am not a ‘power blogger’ and not even sure that I would want to be…I have a MASSIVE following of 5 people and have so far had errrrm let me think now…4 comments (two of them my answers lol) on my little garden blog! I am unphased by this as it is really a sort of personal diary.
    I see what you are saying here about answering comments and about the commenters psychology in leaving comments and agree with you, a little politeness goes a LONG way. Whilst it is good to be acknowledged, if you take the time to comment on someones work, I can tell by the huge backlog on my site that it can be difficult to keep up..all ‘power’ to you Don, the more I read here the more I like your style…

    1. Well, that’s not quite correct, I just followed you so 6 … put a little intro of yourself on my “share yourself” page, I reckon we might push it up to 60 at least ๐Ÿ™‚ Follow me back and you have a guaranteed follower as long as I’m blogging ๐Ÿ™‚

      Politeness costs nothing they say …

      Cheers

      Don

  4. I wonder what is really being aroused within ourselves, what insecurities, that we are negatively impacted by the behaviour of others? There’s a famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Perhaps applying it to reality is a lifetime’s work!

    1. I think we often have to rely on other people so we do often take their criticism to heart … I’ve heard the same quote, it’s lovely in principle harder to apply in practice … We’re all insecure and vulnerable, accepting it as it is I think helps ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Great post! I agree we all want to be listened to–we wouldn’t publicly post all the things we do if we didn’t want anyone to read it and respond to it, or am I dead wrong on that? having said that, I will often click on the like on a post but if I don’t feel I have something relevant to add to the conversation I often don’t make a comment, especially on a large blog with lots of followers and comments–that’s a lot of work for the author to have to respond to every time someone just says great post or just smiles so I am not offended if I dont get a comment back. As for my blog–its small, I dont have a lot of followers and comments so I welcome every comment I get! lol even if it is just a smile. Did any of that make any sense whatsoever? lol

    1. All of it made sense ๐Ÿ™‚

      I take time to reply to every comment, occasionally I miss them due to volume of comments and the systems not being perfect (nor am I!) …

      I don’t know, some people like to talk to themselves a lot, and I’ve seen this on facebook, not so much on wordpress … So I think usually bloggers do look to be heard, and it’s nice to even just get a “good post” or “good blog” …

      You’ll get to know who the bloggers are who do and don’t respond, up to you which blogs you continue to comment on !

      cHEERS

      dc

      1. Thank you for your comments. Given what you have said I will perhaps be more responsive to blogs I read rather than just click like. ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. Hey Elain, you’re welcome … it’s entirely up to you, do as you feel you want to … comments do give you free backlinks which helps with SEO, so that’s one reason for leaving comments. Also other bloggers may see your comments and visit your blog as a consequence … so there are numerous things in it for you as well as the blogger you’re leaving comments for ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Reblogged this on An Upturned Soul and commented:
    I LOVE (yes, I’m using CAPS ergo I’m shouting) THIS POST!

    Don Charisma’s blog is a great one to follow and not just because he’s a great guy and blogger and photographer and thinker and human… but because you can learn a lot about blogging from him too!

    I completely agree about OM. I have learned a lot about blogging from him and his blog Harsh Reality (I haven’t followed Shattered Smoke yet, my bad and it may be a continued bad on my part because life and stuff). Especially about comments and blogging etiquette.

    His blog was one of the first to follow mine. Something he does. And it was one of the first I commented on… and almost fell over in surprise when he replied.

    I was flapping around like the crazed shy person that I am when I received my first comments on WP. I didn’t know what to do or how to do whatever it was I should do and other stuff like that, and OM showed me the way. He set an example which I thought was wise to follow.

    Took me a while to activate what he taught, but now I always reply to a comment on my blog… sometimes I reply too much. I’m still learning and you do have to be true to yourself if your blog is you, which mine is. Sort of… teasing, or am I!?

    I never expect the bloggers on whose posts I comment to reply to me. So I sometimes miss their replies (again, my bad). I do however check to see if they are the strong silent type or the replying interactive type. I tend to feel warmer towards those who reply because then I know they are human (it’s a quirk of mine to check if people are, too long to explain).

    Thanks Don Charisma, Brilliant post as ever!

  7. Every word in this post is so true. Especially, the part on social connectivity. With social networking and social media, everyone speaks but no one listens, whereas it is actually the listening part that makes all the difference.

  8. Yes, yes and yes.
    And in replying to comments, we build relationships with the other person.
    That is worth so much more. Those who do not reply to comments (and there are many) are missing out on so much.

  9. Thank you very much for sharing this beautiful post Don! I’m convinced that respect is one of the most important things in life. Sometimes it can be very painful when I give respect and don’t get it back. I never ask or expect to get it back, but when I encounter the opposite of respect I realize how hard it is to recover the positive feeling that has been damaged. I’m very thankful to know a lot of nice people in the blogging world who treat me with respect. And just for you to know, if once you’re not able to reply to my comments. Don’t worry.. I know you would if you could, so no obligations.;)
    Have a beautiful and blessed Sunday Don!

    1. You are welcome Nadyness, and I do reply to 99% of all positive and polite comments, occasionally I miss them as the systems aren’t ideal … Very much agree, and I will think about not expecting respect from other people it may be a useful edge to smooth off ๐Ÿ™‚

      Warmest regards

      DC

      1. It sure might be a useful edge to smooth off Don. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Your post really touched me ’cause lately I’ve been dealing a lot with this topic and writing a lot about it in my diary so reading your post inspired me even more. ๐Ÿ™‚ The topic of my post coming up therefore includes expectations. It’s always just a small piece of what I really write, but I try to make it like we say here in The Netherlands ” Short but powerful”. Have nice evening and wish you for tomorrow a wonderful and blessed Tuesday!

      2. You are welcome nadyness, always surprises me that other people thinking about the same things as me !

        And yes horay for short and powerful, it’s a constant paraphrasing and then some more paraphrasing … I also find my commenters often do it for me, so something I get from not being ignored !

        Good to chat ๐Ÿ™‚

        DC

  10. Great post Don and very true words.Blogging to me is an interactive and personable process – and without those cherished comments a blog will not be what is it was designed to be – an interactive conversation and that’s the fun part for me – the response and conversation after the writing…(I blogged for so long with no responses and it really was lonely…)

    So charismatic and so wise….

    1. Hey Mich, agree very much … only caveat is that the original purpose of a blog is web-log, which is more like a diary, in the beginning probably comments weren’t needed … but I feel the involvement of commenters is an improvement, enables a blog to be more than just a diary ! Interactive diary perhaps ?

      1. True, but for me it was much more like a space to share and read and have conversations, so being ignored for me was not so great – I like the interactive diary concept – it’s almost like your on line Jiminy Cricket?

      2. LOL, don’t forget I’m from UK, so don’t always know US culture that well, I’ve heard Jiminy Cricket, but don’t know the significance ๐Ÿ™‚

        And yes I see how blog has evolved. Female input into IT/web has pushed in new directions I feel, and I’m enjoying the directions on WordPress, haven’t yet developed a taste for FB or twitter, but never say never …

        Cheers

        DC

  11. You are a gracious blogger and realize that there is a balance to things. In this day and age of online communications, people have sometimes forgotten how to be respectful and kind. Most communications via other online mediums like Facebook, promote “me me me me”, “look at me!”, “look what I did!”. Here in wordpress we have the opportunity to have a more real way of connecting and yes, to be authentic. I will end with: ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. Thanks hun very kind words, and I can say same to you ๐Ÿ™‚ … these are some of the reasons I spend little time on FB, I use it because it’s part of my plan, but I don’t enjoy … I’ll end with ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    1. HEy thanks that very kind indeed. I see it mostly having fun and progressing in my personal and professional life, community building around me is a bonus ๐Ÿ™‚ warm regards DC

  12. I found this a valuable post….thank you.
    The power/respect relationship is so important – as is the ability to see it for what it is.

    I like the – perhaps apocryphal – words addressed by a very fed up barrister to a very thick and difficult judge who could not or would not grasp a point being made:

    ‘If your lordship would be pleased to turn it over in what your lordship is pleased to call your lordship’s mind….’

    I reply to all comments apart from spam – and very much enjoy the comment section of my blog – so many interesting people turn up there!
    I do find it difficult to know when to leave a conversation on the comments sometimes, especially when it involves someone new to the blog; I don’t want to be discourteous but sometimes it seems best to let them have the last word.

    1. Thanks Helen, and it’s high praise as I know you’re a wordsmith ๐Ÿ™‚

      I looked up apocryphal, and yes a very suitable word indeed. Only difficulty is that it’s not in very common usage, so thick people might not know what I’m talking about … sometimes this can be an advantage, but sometimes the unknown scares people and makes them defensive and aggressive !

      And yes the relationship side of blogging very satisfying ๐Ÿ™‚

      I think generally I let a conversation run it’s natural course. Often I get the last word, I feel it’s a bit like someone being in my home really. But I don’t need to have the last word, it’s very much conversation specific …

      Warm regards

      DC

  13. As a journalist, this whole post rings incredibly true to me. I always reply to comments on my articles (yes, even nasty ones – I wait til I’m cool-headed and just say “thank you for your opinion\comment”) ๐Ÿ™‚
    Very well written post!

    1. Thanks and good to have it confirmed by journalist like yourself. The troublesome comments take more effort to deal with, and sometimes it’s a case of waiting, sometimes they just go bye-bye … Depends really, with respect then I’ll listen to just about anything, without it then I’m not that interested ๐Ÿ™‚

      Warm regards

      DC

      1. I think you’ll get it anywhere there’s a public forum, to be honest, as most are widely unmoderated. The site I work for has, as most have now, a comments section below each article. It was nice to see you say, as well, that you reply to every comment, even just to acknowledge you’ve read it. I do the same, because I feel like otherwise it’s a bit like someone’s spoken to you and you’ve ignored it. And yes, there’s always a respectful way to put your opinion across, even if you disagree. Thankfully, once I’ve replied with a ‘thanks for your comment’ the bad ones don’t bother writing back. It’s tempting to snipe back, but I think now acknowledging them and letting them see it’s gotten to you is the best way to go about it =)

      2. Forums, not for me, especially public unmoderated …

        I’d say “almost” ever opinion, some it’s collectively agreed aren’t in anybody’s best interests, certainly for cruel and evil opinions. But yes, most opinions even if conflictory can be expressed civilly and politely, sometime I’m even influenced by them !

        Bottom line is forming good relationships, with respect, humility and the necessary interpersonal boundaries when required.

        Those who lack respect I don’t want on my blog, I don’t want to give them SEO juice for their links and I don’t want to have a relationship with them.

        The morons usually get defensive when they can’t do exactly as they please. The good people seem to resolve it one way or another, and has actually deepened my relationship with them, not ended it.

  14. I see it from a slightly different perspective though I generally agree. As a new blogger, or as one who is trying to build a following and a community, probably one of the worst feelings is to pour your heart and soul into a post, and get nary a hit, let alone a like or, the dream of all dreams, a comment! Lol.

    I think for those bloggers who have now built a following and have those regular commentators, the ones who stop bothering to reply to comments they receive forget what it was like when they felt their little hearts break when each post went unnoticed, when their comments on the big guns were glossed over because they weren’t “important” or influential enough, and when they couldn’t get a mention or guest post spot to save their lives.

    Whether it’s another blogger who had taken the time to comment on a post, or a random passerby, I think as you said, they deserve the simple respect of acknowledgement. Not only is it ignorant to ignore anyone, face to face or behind a computer screen, but it shows you don’t appreciate our recognize why you’ve gotten to where you are in blogging popularity, I.e. the fans, and that you take them for granted.

    Don’t assume they’ll just stick around because you’re so super special and you have great content: cause you know what happens when you assume…. Lol

    Great post! Thanks for the add, wasn’t sure what I was going to encounter on your blog but I must say I really enjoyed your post! Here’s to sticking around for many more!

    1. Wasn’t able to see the different perspective you talked about, assume you mean that you’re a new blogger and I am not … I was once a new blogger too, so there isn’t any difference, apart from my having had more experience … experience teaches efficiency and skill … these are the only differences ๐Ÿ™‚

      You are welcome and lovely to have you on board, happy to see a friendly face as and when you have time ๐Ÿ™‚

      Warm regards

      DC

      1. I guess perhaps I wasn’t clear in that, the different perspective I was referring to was my perspective on why it is that some bloggers don’t end up responding that isn’t intentional disrespect, isn’t a play of dominance, isn’t even ignoring, but yet should still not be considered a forgiveable offense.

        Basically the point I was trying to make is that sometimes when you get big you literally forget what is was like to be on the other side, how valuable a response to your comment was when you were a nobody in the blogging community, and how hurtful it was when your own posts would go ignored. But forgetting where you came from when the going gets easy is Not OK. We need to be forever mindful of everyone’s feelings and position

        And thanks for the warm welcome!

      2. You are welcome, and yes I think you’re talking about arrogance brought on by power … I do my best not to let it go to my head, and why I still answer all comments personally, and generally humbly ๐Ÿ™‚

        I have 15000 followers now so almost impossible to keep abreast of everyone’s posts … the understanding ones usually drop me a heads up of something relevant … aopionatedman recently let me know about his powerblogging posts, for instance … I do the same for him as it’s even more challenging for him to keep track of the 30000 on one blog and 5000 on the other.

        I try not to act with arrogance, but the challenges of a busy blog might make me appear that way. I’m sorry if that’s what comes across, not my intention …

        And lastly my first blog post only has 8 likes I think (where I have some posts with nearly 300 likes), could you even tell me what it is ?

        I’ll save you the effort it was a quote from Kill Bill Vol 2, I liked the quote from Pai Mei, about persistence and not giving up … it’s been ever since a “secret” moto, well not that secret actually !

        Warm regards

        DC

  15. Great points. Likes and comments are nice. I try to assume more people are enjoying reading and just don’t feel comfortable coming out and commenting or even clicking like when I post. Some people are just very private. By the way, thanks for liking my “Dying Online” blog. If I knew how to do a smiley face I would post one here:

    1. Thanks. And yes there’s all kind of readers and followers, some are daily/hourly commenters, others I’ve had messages once in a blue moon to say they really enjoy reading but never comment … a basic smiley face is colon “:” followed by a close bracket “)”, without the quotes … If I put them together all you’ll see is the smiley face … : and D is wide smile AND 8 and – and ) is sunglasses … there are many more, look on wikipedia …

  16. I couldn’t agree more, Don. It’s insulting to the commenter not to get even an acknowledgment to his/her (reasonable) comment. In fact, when my friends click a ‘like’ against my blog posts on Facebook, I make it a point to say thanks to them. After all, if they said “nice post” to me when they met me face to face, wouldn’t I say thanks? Just because this is the online world and we don’t necessarily meet, there is no justification for being frugal with our courtesies.

      1. I wish WP had a feature to click ‘acknowledge’ or ‘like’ against comments or replies — I don’t mean to prolong the comment thread, but I have no polite way to terminate it with a thanks/ like/ acknowledge! We’ll leave the thread at this ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. Aha, it turns out there is a reasonable way to do this! I didn’t contact Support; I just tinkered with the settings. In your dashboard, go to Settings -> Sharing. Scroll down all the way to the bottom, to “Comment likes are”, and check that box. This enables all WP members (who are logged in) to click a ‘like’ against anyone’s comment.
        For non-WP members, you can use the rating (thumbs up/ down) system. Go to Settings -> Rating.

      3. Yes I’ve seen that on some other’s blogs, and see on yours … for me I like to keep it simple, the ratings on the post, the comments and likes are enough … I only have the ratings because I thought it would help with SEO, which so far it hasn’t …

  17. Excellent post, Don!

    I absolutely agree that a blogger should take the time to reply to any and all comments left on their site (unless vulgar, offensive, spam etc.). People have taken the time to read what a blogger has posted and it seems only fair to respond with an acknowledgement of some kind. Some blogs are massive and have thousands of followers and comments, the best of those blogs are the ones when all interactions are acknowledged.

    My blog may only be small but I always take the time to respond to comments left, although due to work and real life having a habit of getting in the way it may sometimes take me a day or so to respond.

    It is true that no one likes to be ignored and even a smiley face left in reply to another blogger’s comment can make their day.

    The world could certainly do with more Don Charisma’s ๐Ÿ™‚

    Heather xxx

  18. This is a great post! An important reminder about being respectful on many levels. Responding to people and actually listening to people. I hope more people follow your lead and remember to stay away from such a public medium when they are caught up in life’s frustrations and drama. It is much easier to be heard when all parties are speaking respectfully. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I also agree with a few other people who mention what I originally wanted to say, which is: I beg to differ with you: you are an awesome writer, even if it isn’t your passion of choice.

    1. Thanks Deborah, that’s very kind and high praise indeed. I just do my best excel, at least enjoy what I’m doing … largely it’s about forming relationship and trying to maintain them given the dynamic nature of it all … with the caveat that we need respect and self-respect in our relationships ๐Ÿ™‚

      And yes definitely either stay away from airing when stressed or learn to channel it creatively …

      Warm regards

      DC

  19. For a person who doesn’t want to write much on his blog, this is an outstanding and well thought out post. You are right about the respect and humility connection. The Internet is a quirky thing because we can reach much of the world but we can ignore much of it as well. Don’t compromise your ethics because someone else is lazy, or whatever is the weak quality they possess – or that possesses them – to be rude. It’s not your style.
    Be well. (And you do seem to be feeling better. – Good!)

  20. Definitely agreed on all points. I love reading OM’s stuff, too. And his powerblogging series is interesting, although I am no where near a powerblogger status.

    Responding to comments is common courtesy. It isn’t easy, because of how busy a lot of bloggers can be. But it is doable, and the bloggers with 30+ comments on one post prove that when they answer each and every comment.

    Before I started to blog (for a second time), one of my pet peeves with social media sites, was the lack of personal touch from site owners. Seriously, how much effort does it take to make a simple acknowledgement. A ‘I see/hear you’ nod. It is really important.

    It’s no different then walking into a small local business and being ignored. If that happens to me, I turn around and walk out. If they can’t be bothered to greet me, then I’ll take my person elsewhere.

    1. For sure, and powerblogger just takes time and effort. I’m getting 100-400 a day at the moment, so have to keep them short as I can. But always want to let people know I’ve read what they’ve written provided they have respect !

      Cheers

      DC

  21. I agree with everything you’ve said. For me, responding to people is basic politeness, and if someone has taken the time and effort to read what I’ve written and to make a comment, I couldn’t even consider not thanking them for their time and input. As I tell my son, as long as he is a polite, kind, considerate person life, that’s all that matters x

  22. Wow. Before I finished the post I popped over to my blog to reply to the one comment I recall I had seen & not replied to… Convicting. Or – at least – convicting to me. I don’t think everyone “gets” that, like you explained. I read a lot. Write some. I don’t print much for reference. I printed a good portion of this. And, I follow Opinionated Man and think he rocks. I am so tired of the “fluffy” and “happy-go-lucky” b.s. people pump for accolades, likes or follows. Whatever. I am real. Life is real. I want to feel/hear other people be real. Sure, I am happy, sarcastic, dorky, intelligent and stupid. That is life.

    I have found my existence to be subjected to a “power” per se as you mentioned. I have ZERO respect for it. I have complete comprehension of its existence, strength and backing. I realized, very early on, that I can’t defeat it based upon my own means or resources. I conceded. I too was “forced into inauthenticity by their own lack of respect.” They may have the present “illusion” of superiority (which I don’t deny), yet if they were to ever face me (God help them), they will “NEVER see that look of respect in my eyes.” Those of us who choose to remain authentic and give to others of ourselves – our hearts, talents, creations, art – are open to these f***ed up people out there – as you say. It is true.

    I began to change in the midst of confusion. Then I realized the outcome of such. I’ll simply say this – THEIR “power” is short-lived in the bigger picture. Regardless of outcome. The creative and mindful don’t have the blessings of plentiful bank accounts and plush lives. Our “hustle” can morph in so many creative variations that it may be an illusion to them, when nothing to us has changed. Except how it will resolve. There lies the creative application and ultimate End. ๐Ÿ™‚ I give you “EFFFFF*** YES!!!” for this blog post. Being “ignored” can be the biggest blessing. Especially when you’re on my side of the fence… The genuine side which doesn’t require accolades and TRASH to feel legit. The side that refuses to bend over and take it up the a$$ for the means of doing so or compliance.

    Just like you said, pick what you “like” from my remarks. Or not. Either way. There you go. My opinion – take it or leave it. No skin off my back. Just like I respect yours and everyone else who replied and took time… Props! This post SHOULD GO VIRAL!!! But what do I know?!? Popular opinion and sheep prevail I suppose… Maybe it will shift – as it should – someday. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Thanks very intense and thoughtful and I almost felt like I was reading my own writing for a while … I reckon your comment should go viral …

      I studied a little what makes content viral, the ones I looked at were “the Pixar theory” and the “It’s not for you”. One ties together the pixar movies and is actually quite a nice read. Gives people completion. The other is kind of playing with what people dream the world is like, then saying it is actually like they dream it is. It’s very well written and touching, and a great play on words with the double meaning of the title. Anyway, I reckon I’ll be lucky to go viral or preshly freshed, so I just do what amuses me and what makes sense …

      As for the roughness of reality, I often smooth the edges, I do need to make a living as well as enjoy my creative pursuits. My loved one’s can’t live on fresh air and high principles, and neither sadly can I ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thanks again, very thoughtful and expressive comment …

      Warm regards

      DC

      1. If I take the time, it’s preshly flessed… Straight up. We’re (me as single mom and two teenaged boys) living on blessed air at the moment. I don’t take it for granted at all. Viral is like anything in life. A blessing and curse. Once attained you have a benchmark to exceed with each subsequent post, comment. etc.. I DETEST the “spotlight” regardless of why given significant LIGHT. And I am good with YOUR post going viral. I’ll back you 100%. But if my reply were to go viral, I would thank God and you for it. That’s how I roll. Appreciate your feedback. Especially since I don’t have an advanced degree or any income relating to my writing. It’s ALL new to me. I love blogs though. ADHD thrives on shorter, meaningful posts. You’ve got a purpose, position and place. Keep at it. ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. Thanks very kind, and blessed air, the same for me hun … I think with the viral thing yes it’d be an ego boost then there would be a bubble burst … that’s just the way of things, perhaps knowing how it is helps, I don’t know !

        You’re a good writer, able to get a lot in a very short space, you should do far …

        As for AHDH or whatever, I often suffer from it, but don’t use it as an excuse … if that makes sense ๐Ÿ™‚

        LAter

        DC

      3. Wow, thank you! Sorry for delayed gratitude… Getting used to navigating WordPress and learning a lot. ADHD is never an excuse – I totally get what you’re saying. It can be beneficial or problematic to anyone in any given situation. Owning it and taking power over assumptions relating to it by others is/was essential for me. Thanks again! Much respect and have a wonderful weekend. ๐Ÿ™‚

  23. I can totally relate to the point you made about not writing when you have many things in your mind. When I’m not in a good mood I try not to reply the comments as well. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Very sensible, and good general policy … I am trying to push myself and this writing came out of a bad mood, so I wanted to say that good writing can come in negative times too ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Yes, it can and sometimes it may end up reflecting your current thoughts which you probably won’t want to share when you are in negative mood. ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. So yes if you don’t want to share the negative thoughts then don’t blog ! If you think you can transform into a positive that would help others then do blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. I am responding so you will have to make a reply comment Ha Ha Ha. Actually I like to comment because when I read posts I have some kind of thoughts on the content that I enjoy airing. Hope all is good in the Charisma world ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. I am basically an introvert, and do not talk much with other people and when I do not know them I will be very quiet. Blogging is a learning process for me, because there are many comments from people I do not know, and in the end I start learning to reply. But the challenge is greater when it is in English, not the language used iny country.

    Thank you for the post Don.

    1. You are welcome. In my experience if what you want is to become more extrovert, then blogging is helpful. But do it at your own pace, and take your time ๐Ÿ™‚

      You are very welcome, and lovely to hear from you. You are always welcome to post a comment, I always respond positively to positive comments ๐Ÿ™‚

      Warm regards

      DC

    1. I feel it’s the least I can do if someone has taken the time to contribute/read/like etc, my readers make my blog, so treat them with respect ๐Ÿ™‚ And yes daily it’s 100-400 comments, so I have to do it as quickly as I can, otherwise I’d be 24/7 replying to comments LOL

      1. Yes, I can imagine you’d have to put limits on it! I spend hours on WordPress each day ATM, and that’s without the hundreds of comments to reply to ๐Ÿ™‚
        Love your writing, love your pics, please keep them all coming!

      2. Thanks, much appreciated … I’ve had to start replying to comments in batches, once a day or otherwise I’d never get anything done … so if you feel ignored, then it’s because I haven’t found time to do my daily comment replying ๐Ÿ™‚

        Warm regards

        DC

  26. Respect says everything Don and by practice these ourselves, it should be possible to spread it out in our blogposts and comments, it should help all to understand it.

    The law about attraction is function here too, but there are some trolls out there, as we just need to learn to ignore and delete. If we don’t have the inner power to fight with them, I feel it best to ignore and delete them. They demand a lot of abundance, which I prefer to use at more positive souls instead.

    No one like to be ignored and some of us also have expericences with that from our childhood, as we might need to work out.
    To be polite and treat other, like we prefer to be treated ourselves and show our respect to other souls, will give us a much better world and a great place for blogging.
    Thanks for sharing Don.
    Irene

  27. You nailed it when you said, “People just want to be heard” – I find it interesting in today’s atmosphere of “communication at light-speed” so few people actually feel heard –

    I follow you and OM because you never fail to ‘hear’ me –

    That’s what I appreciate the most about this community – even in face of differing opinions – I feel heard and I hope that I provide the same for others – this community is just too important to go the way of snarkiness and dis-respect which seemed to be the theme of many of the blogs I follow here a few weeks ago – Happily, that seems to have passed, and so I surmise the general community has voiced it’s choice –

    “We are serious about sharing and listening to others – if you’re looking for fast stats via troll activities – best look somewhere other than WordPress”

    Course, I’m not big enough to attract trolls – -but I do feel that the community here has a better than average chance of throttling them – ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Totally, I HEAR YOU !

      I think with spam queue and moderation that’s built into wordpress trolls here are more moronic than elsewhere … all I need to do is bang them in the spam queue and another few bloggers do them same, the trolls comments never show up again …

      Thanks for the continued following it’s appreciated. And I will continue to operate a zero tolerance policy to those who have no respect. OM has communicated same to me.

      Warm regards

      DC

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