Work, Money, Opinion and Politics

Why Does My Husband Look At Women On The Internet ?

I’m gonna take a wild stab in the dark here. It’s a real toughy, but I reckon it’s most probably because he enjoys it.

Call me old fashioned or traditional, but men have been attracted to women since the dawn of time ?

Without this attraction surely none of us would be here ?

So one might argue that’s it’s just slightly important to the survival of the human race that men find women attractive ?

DonCharisma.org-Why-Does-My-Husband-Look-At-Women-On-The-Internet

It’s only with the advent of TV and later computers and internet, that we didn’t actually have to leave the house to look at women …

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Andy Williams wrote a song called “Music To Watch Girls By”. I have two CD compilations of songs to “Watch Girls By” – “Music To Watch Girls By” and “More Music To Watch Girls By” … I think Andy’s song was from the 60’s, so was it normal for men to look at women then, but it isn’t now ?

My point – it’s entirely normal for men to look at women, we’ve been doing it and will continue to do so, for ever. If we stop doing it, no more babies and eventually no more human race … Not terribly complicated stuff really …

Any other takers ?

… Like I need to ask 🙂

(This was one of today’s search engine hits on my blog)

Notes for commenters:

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma

70 thoughts on “Why Does My Husband Look At Women On The Internet ?”

  1. I wish I cud add few FREE opinions here but it will vitiate my married life….. grrrrrr! I wish I cud jump into this discussion…
    good 1

  2. Ha ha. The GG reckons that Meagan Gale has been calling him since she split with Orlando. I told him that Orlando had been texting me lol
    I think as long as it is harmless stuff then why worry?

    1. I regularly skype with Megan Fox, she’s dumped her A-list boyfriend and is coming over to Thailand to be with me … I haven’t told anyone else as yet …

      I think the harm is mostly in the brains of those that are anti … but call my a cynic …

      5. That’s hard to answer. I just find it difficult to get to them all mate. Then I do a huge post like the one I did the other day.
        Speaking of awards, got another one of them today – a new one too. 🙂
        If you don’t mind me hanging on to them and then doing a post acknowledging but not passing on then all is good.

      6. Suz, you must do what’s best for you hun … congrats on another award !

        I’ve stopped coaching people on what to do with awards since a rather moronic conversation I had with someone a while back.

        So I’ll leave you on the pingback list for now, but just let me know if you want taking off.

    1. LOL I also have “The Best And Friends Album” vol 1, 2, and 3 which has music from the same era … they are great songs that are easy to listen to from a different era 🙂

  6. Men look at women and women look at men; this has been the way of the world since man (or woman) first walked the Earth and we’d have died out long ago if that were not the case. I’m a firm believer in the ‘look but don’t touch’ argument. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a guy looking at a girl who isn’t his ‘girlfriend’ and vice versa. It’s normal for your other half to feel slightly jealous when you look at another but it also keeps you on your toes and stops you from becoming complacent in your relationship.

    Heather xxx

  8. Lets call this a “cautionary tale” maybe “buyer beware” is more appropriate. Either way – men, women, people from any walk of life – be honest with yourself and spare future heartache. If your partner goes ballistic over healthy sexual diversions, run for the nearest exit! Bracing for feminist backlash, this 54 year old woman drops her jaw when friends get their panties in a knot over their partner going to strip clubs with buddies or late night internet strokes. Listen up ladies – it isn’t “cheating” doesn’t lesson your charms, threaten your attributes, or make a lick of difference.Toss out “extreme” behaviour and we’re talking 95% of men in the world.(I’m going to take flack for this next statement) Could it be your suspicion and insecurity, crowned with generous dollops of prudish behaviour force the cheating hand? Your turn men – if you see your partner in shades of my previous remarks, find yourself hiding, sneaking or telling lies about the establishment you and your buddies had a few beer, haven’t cheated or been an ass about it – get out while you can.Yikes – this isn’t rocket science. FYI – I’ve been married 32 years. My husband can do what men do without seeds of nonsense clouding a perfect relationship.

    Men and women are wired in different ways – I find the whole thing ridiculous.

    1. Hey sorry for the late reply, some days I get a lot of comments … and yes I think if ladies were more accepting the way it actually is, then there wouldn’t be such problems … men are men and complaining doesn’t make a lick of difference, except for making the complainant unhappy …

      Very well put

      Warm regards

      DC

  9. I think that couples should be well matched in this respect. I am a very sensitive individual and don’t look at men on the internet so I expect my partner to be fully capable of doing the same (I don’t believe men and women have super different sexualities). If a couple is comfortable with each other looking at other people I think this is cool too. Different strokes for different folks! Thank you for following my blog 🙂

  10. This is weirdly deep. Like, in the end, everything anyone does is for enjoyment in some form.

    (It’s like one of those math problems that’re so simple that you’re positive you’re screwing something up . . . )

    1. LOL, yup, can see that … I’ve been full circle thinking about this, and yes it’s like the math problem that isn’t a problem … men enjoy looking at women, that’s that … nothing to figure out !

  11. There’s a lot taken for granted in the subject of “Internet gazing”. Women ARE too often objectified, which leads to a poor cultural image about us, in terms of what men should want from a woman, our place in life, and how they need to treat us to get what media is telling them they should have. While I don’t consider myself a hardcore feminist, I am a woman, and I’m all for respect of both sexes and all genders. Unfortunately, society has been teaching our men to see us more as sexual objects than human beings, which is why when a guy goes online, accesses a porn site, and “does his thing”, he’s not thinking that these women are only acting, that it’s unreal. They take the acting to heart, and this leaves them unsatisfied with their ladies, makes them return to the computer screen over and over again for “what he can’t get at home” when, in fact, if they put half as much effort into pleasing their own women, they’d have nothing to look for on the internet. Basically, internet gazing has become a collective illness. I invite you to rent out Thanks For Sharing, and Don Jon, if you haven’t already seen them. These movies take a gander at what porn has done to society’s psyche, and how both men and women are hurt in the process.

    1. Thanks for that, and after reading and re-reading, I’ll accept your comment. I see the negative objectification and it happens to men too, and not just in a visual sense. And I do see your arguments which are well put and explained. I do feel that objectification can have positive reasons for being something we do. It’s used in business a lot for instance where people are talked about as “resources” or I’ve seen in movies “assets”.

      From a man’s perspective, we actually want to look at women. And it is something normal and that we enjoy. Women commenters have to me they also do the same. It’s ordinary normal thing.

      Equally well women are led to believe a man is supposed to be X or supposed to be Y, read magazines and watch TV which says same. Then they are disappointed with the real thing. This doesn’t lead to healthy relationships as far as men are concerned. So the pot in this case can equally well call the kettle black.

      So my answer to what you’ve said is not that there’s a problem with looking. The problem is in the thinking that goes behind it. Just because man + picture of woman on the internet doesn’t equal relationship problems. Women I feel should be integrating what men want into relationship, and not this always anti approach. Men are generally visually oriented, and probably best get used to it and accept it because that’s not about to change in a hurry !

      So I think there are extremes that are a problem, but fantasy and enjoying the opposite sex are normal, good, natural human behaviours, a majority perspective 🙂

      As for extrapolating this thread beyond into the world’s sexual problems, I’d consider that beyond the scope of the topic. Men and WOMEN participate in these industries, so it’s a joint responsibility. Compassionate solutions may yield positive change, but being anti and critical are more likely to perpetuate and amplify existing conditions. Women taking the path of no responsibility must change, it’s not right nor fair nor mature not helping to solve any problems. It adds to the problems.

      Bottom line solutions exist in people taking responsibility for themselves and “know thyself”, knowing what “the truth” is for themselves.

      If I get a chance I will watch the movies you suggest. I love to watch movies and I always learn something 🙂

      Warm regards

      DC

  12. In Ireland they used to have a “free pass” once a year where they got to explore others outside the marriage. This was a long time ago though. It was in the fifth century or so.

    Sex is a very intimate experience. I think sometimes, too intimate. Sometimes we want to be close to someone, and not at the same time. I remember after my father died four years ago I was a wreck. I wanted to be comforted without actually opening up emotionally. Our society in general frowns upon men opening up. We have created patterns of hiding emotions. Sex is the one place where it makes it difficult to do that. In return, we seek to have a brick wall between us and the other person. I don’t think it is as much as “what” we look at, but “why.” I think the answer is that we don’t want to be attached emotionally.

    I could be wrong. But that is my two cents 🙂

    1. Right or wrong very well put, and the true be known I don’t know … is sounds plausible and mature enough for me to accept as a possibility 🙂 thanks for adding to what I wrote … warm regards DC

  13. If I was a feminist, I would be livid at this post. Of course, it would be all fabricated and sanctimonious, but that’s nothing new.

    I’d say this one was like shooting fish in a barrel for you, DC. You didn’t miss. }:-)>

    1. LOL, perhaps the distorted feminists are all following your blog and I’ve weeded them out ?

      Or perhaps it’s my disclaimer … or the fear of the dreaded spam queue …

      I just reckon it’s normal to be normal, and taking responsibility for someone else’s insecurity isn’t normal … if that makes sense …

      As for feminists there is positive and negative … the positive ones are my friends, the negative ones are just morons or imbeciles … but there’s me saying the obvious again … there are dudes that are stupid too …

      As Forest Gump’s mother says – stupid is, as stupid does.

      Cheers

      DC

  14. We’re wired to notice beautiful things from great works of art to a cleavage. Let’s face it, women are just plain beautiful.
    However, I stood upon God’s altar and took a solemn vow. I don’t think I could ever commit adultery and look my wife in the face.
    Time to go give her some kisses:-)

  15. I say, look at you what want, boys to girls, girls to boys, who every you are and whatever floats your boat. Honor your commitments and be honest with each other, and enjoy. My only sticky point is if the person being watched, online, etc, has given consent. Otherwise, everyone, go have fun. That’s why we’re watching each other, right?

  16. if I may…it’s ok for a man or a woman to do this as long as he/she doesn’t neglect his/her significant other in the process…respect….just sayin’

  19. I was actually discussing something along these lines with a friend a couple of months ago. Personally, I think as long as I’m not being cheated on, then it’s fine if my s/o looks at pictures of other women on the internet. Just because a guy might be attracted to someone, it doesn’t mean he’s interested in pursuing something with that person.There are plenty of men that I find physically attractive, but the attraction stops there.

    1. Bit like kids asking “why” .. you give answer … they say “why” and so on …

      And yes pretty naive, but suspect it’s more about insecurity or some other distortion than the actual written question. …

  21. It’s definitely true. The lyrics of the song hold up… Girls watch the boys and the boys watch the girls.. etc. It does make the world and time go by.

    As long as it’s harmless and the partnership or marriage isn’t broken up by checking people out, it should be “OKed.” However, there are the extremely jealous types who won’t let you get away with anything, not even a simple hello for the sake of being friendly, polite. My ex was one of those extreme jealous types. I’m a dedicated person, and there is not a cheating intention in my mind or body.

    However, to each their own.

    1. Very well put Christopher … and doesn’t the jealousy actually say more about the jealous person that the one who’s supposed doing wrong ?

      I enjoy beauty and nobody will stop me in that, it’s a normal part of being male …

      Cheers

      DC

  22. My hubby says the reason men look at women on the Internet is, most if not all have a perverse side to their nature. And for some, it’s simply turns them on which they need and enjoy.

    1. LOL … I read “My Secret Garden” so the perverse side is a two way street !

      And yes it’s normal natural to enjoy looking at women, we enjoy it and probably need it …

      1. I will also add that women enjoy looking at men too. I don’t look online as I would rather see them in person or in a movie…LOL

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