Don Charisma gone into writing romance novels ? … NO, no, no … Probably that’ll never happen.
So there’s no sex, romance or intimacy here, sorry about that …
Passion – Passion is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.
Passion comes and goes it’s an emotion. Like a candle, a strong gust of wind and it’s blown out …
Others will go on about “writers-block” or being bored. Same thing. It’s a bit more worrying when they describe themselves as a “cynic” in order to try to cover up their barren and passionless existence, but hey let’s keep this positive.
For me life is all about passion. Being passionate about what I’m doing, is way preferable than not. A boring robotic life with only routine and nothing to be excited about, nothing that “turns me on”. Dead already. Been there, tried it, got the “T” shirt, never-ever again.
Passion is what separates the men from the boys and then women from the girls. Same thing in blogging, passionate bloggers will be successful, blog readers can “smell” it. It’s what the “wannabes” can’t quite fathom about where they are going wrong. Passion, that’s it, simple, not complicated, be passionate or do something else that you are passionate about.
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
Now there’s a dude who knew about passion !
So what to do when the flame get’s blown out ? First look at the reasons why passion might have gone/evoporated/been blown out:
- Working too hard for too long – burn out.
- A factor beyond one’s control – illness, divorce, lost job, bankruptcy, accident, etc
- Childhood abuse or just being told “you’ll never be able to play the piano” by an “authority”
- External “influence” – negative people, pretty much covers all scenarios
- Boredom – yes, we do get bored of doing the same things day in day out, it’s normal
Not sure that covers everything, but it’s what I can think of right now.
First one needs to deal with the reason, then one can look at the reignition of passion.
Often there’s a short term remedy and a longer term cure. For instance for some who’s burnt them-self out :
- Remedy – Take some rest, a break away. Rest and relaxation. Come back to it later
- Long term cure – Take regular breaks, work shorter hours, take better care of yourself. Learn to control the passion rather than it controlling you.
Dealing With The Reason
The reasons as mentioned vary, it’s outside the scope of this writing to deal with each case in detail. Other than to say that friends and family may be able to help with support or advice. For more complex issues, that aren’t resolvable on one’s own or with help of friends and family, then professional help may be needed.
It’s usually very much up to the individual whether they want to deal with the issue or not, ultimately they need to decide what’s the best way to deal with it. Or not.
Shit happens, that’s life I’m afraid. One can try to dress it up a different way, make it look pretty, but that’s the reality. Change also happens, which is a good thing, otherwise we wouldn’t get the opportunity to start over, or do anything new.
The reason for identifying the reason, the cause, is so that we can deal with whatever the reason is. Then put it behind us and move on.
Many people have walked out of divorce or bankruptcy court (for instance), their lives in tatters, completely crushed and destroyed. Few months or years later, they are happier than ever, wealthier than ever and have a better girlfriend/boyfriend. Sure they might have a had a rough patch dealing with it, but they found their passion again. That’s all that counts.
Those who didn’t put it behind them, couldn’t accept change or cling onto their past problems, become negative and cynical, they lose their “life”. It’s what I’d call denial in the dark side. Not recommended.
Life goes on after some of the most devastating difficulties and challenges. People recover from some of the most horrific and heinous events in their lives.
Shit happens, deal with it, and move on. My friend Suz, likes it like this – “It Goes On” (Life that is)
Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” was written after and as a consequence of his experiences in a Nazi camp. I can only imagine some of the terrible things he witnessed and experienced there. AND the guy still comes out and writes a book to help other people. Beggars cynical belief.
My whole point – you gotta get back on that horse again, and try again. That’s the bottom line.
Resparking The Flame
It’s hard to say what makes a person passionate. Some people like to go fishing or play golf. Other people play music or are DJs. Other people like reading or writing. It’s possible I reckon to be passionate about almost anything.
The common factors are a feeling of wellbeing and a tendency to be more “in the moment” when you’re doing something you’re passionate about. Hours go by, seems like minutes. People tend to miss doing what their passionate about when their not doing it. Perhaps it’s a person’s “life’s purpose” ?
If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, there’s only one cure – try stuff out. Go diving, take a dance class, play golf, take an improvisation class. You’ll never know until you try. If you don’t like it then fine try something else. At least you’re starting to know what you’re not passionate about !
Some people don’t even know where to start. Well try what your friends do, what you see on TV, movies, in books or magazines. Just pick something, anything, try it. As long as it’s legal, and healthy.
It’s a little easier for those who’ve already eaten some of the passion cake. You already know what you’re passionate about. Sometimes it’s been blown out. Shit it’s happened I’ll bet to every person that’s ever been passionate about something.
My advice – take what you learn’t from whatever the reason was that your passion got blown out. AND …
START AGAIN, try, do a little bit, ease yourself back into your passion gently. Nothing wrong with a little foreplay. (sorry couldn’t resist)
The flame of passion goes out from time to time, that’s life, no big deal, shit happens. Find out what the reason is, and deal with it. Put it behind you. And then start again.
The alternative is a life of life without passion. What kind of a life is that ? … Groundhog day without the interesting bits !
Resources & Sources
Man & Flame – morgueFile
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Warm regards, Don Charisma