Reigniting Passion

Don Charisma gone into writing romance novels ? … NO, no, no … Probably that’ll never happen.

So there’s no sex, romance or intimacy here, sorry about that …

Passion – Passion is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.


Passion comes and goes it’s an emotion. Like a candle, a strong gust of wind and it’s blown out …

Others will go on about “writers-block” or being bored. Same thing. It’s a bit more worrying when they describe themselves as a “cynic” in order to try to cover up their barren and passionless existence, but hey let’s keep this positive.

For me life is all about passion. Being passionate about what I’m doing, is way preferable than not. A boring robotic life with only routine and nothing to be excited about, nothing that “turns me on”. Dead already. Been there, tried it, got the “T” shirt, never-ever again.

Passion is what separates the men from the boys and then women from the girls. Same thing in blogging, passionate bloggers will be successful, blog readers can “smell” it. It’s what the “wannabes” can’t quite fathom about where they are going wrong. Passion, that’s it, simple, not complicated, be passionate or do something else that you are passionate about.

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

Benjamin Franklin

Now there’s a dude who knew about passion !

Blown Out

So what to do when the flame get’s blown out ? First look at the reasons why passion might have gone/evoporated/been blown out:

  • Working too hard for too long – burn out.
  • A factor beyond one’s control – illness, divorce, lost job, bankruptcy, accident, etc
  • Childhood abuse or just being told “you’ll never be able to play the piano” by an “authority”
  • External “influence” – negative people, pretty much covers all scenarios
  • Boredom – yes, we do get bored of doing the same things day in day out, it’s normal

Not sure that covers everything, but it’s what I can think of right now.

First one needs to deal with the reason, then one can look at the reignition of passion.

Often there’s a short term remedy and a longer term cure. For instance for some who’s burnt them-self out :

  • Remedy – Take some rest, a break away. Rest and relaxation. Come back to it later
  • Long term cure – Take regular breaks, work shorter hours, take better care of yourself. Learn to control the passion rather than it controlling you.

Dealing With The Reason

The reasons as mentioned vary, it’s outside the scope of this writing to deal with each case in detail. Other than to say that friends and family may be able to help with support or advice. For more complex issues, that aren’t resolvable on one’s own or with help of friends and family, then professional help may be needed.

It’s usually very much up to the individual whether they want to deal with the issue or not, ultimately they need to decide what’s the best way to deal with it. Or not.

Starting Over

Shit happens, that’s life I’m afraid. One can try to dress it up a different way, make it look pretty, but that’s the reality. Change also happens, which is a good thing, otherwise we wouldn’t get the opportunity to start over, or do anything new.

The reason for identifying the reason, the cause, is so that we can deal with whatever the reason is. Then put it behind us and move on.

Many people have walked out of divorce or bankruptcy court (for instance), their lives in tatters, completely crushed and destroyed. Few months or years later, they are happier than ever, wealthier than ever and have a better girlfriend/boyfriend. Sure they might have a had a rough patch dealing with it, but they found their passion again. That’s all that counts.

Those who didn’t put it behind them, couldn’t accept change or cling onto their past problems, become negative and cynical, they lose their “life”. It’s what I’d call denial in the dark side. Not recommended.

Life goes on after some of the most devastating difficulties and challenges. People recover from some of the most horrific and heinous events in their lives.

Shit happens, deal with it, and move on. My friend Suz, likes it like this – “It Goes On” (Life that is)

Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning” was written after and as a consequence of his experiences in a Nazi camp. I can only imagine some of the terrible things he witnessed and experienced there. AND the guy still comes out and writes a book to help other people. Beggars cynical belief.

My whole point – you gotta get back on that horse again, and try again. That’s the bottom line.

Resparking The Flame

It’s hard to say what makes a person passionate. Some people like to go fishing or play golf. Other people play music or are DJs. Other people like reading or writing. It’s possible I reckon to be passionate about almost anything.

The common factors are a feeling of wellbeing and a tendency to be more “in the moment” when you’re doing something you’re passionate about. Hours go by, seems like minutes. People tend to miss doing what their passionate about when their not doing it. Perhaps it’s a person’s “life’s purpose” ?

If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, there’s only one cure – try stuff out. Go diving, take a dance class, play golf, take an improvisation class. You’ll never know until you try. If you don’t like it then fine try something else. At least you’re starting to know what you’re not passionate about !

Some people don’t even know where to start. Well try what your friends do, what you see on TV, movies, in books or magazines. Just pick something, anything, try it. As long as it’s legal, and healthy.

It’s a little easier for those who’ve already eaten some of the passion cake. You already know what you’re passionate about. Sometimes it’s been blown out. Shit it’s happened I’ll bet to every person that’s ever been passionate about something.

My advice – take what you learn’t from whatever the reason was that your passion got blown out. AND …

START AGAIN, try, do a little bit, ease yourself back into your passion gently. Nothing wrong with a little foreplay. (sorry couldn’t resist)


The flame of passion goes out from time to time, that’s life, no big deal, shit happens. Find out what the reason is, and deal with it. Put it behind you. And then start again.

The alternative is a life of life without passion. What kind of a life is that ? … Groundhog day without the interesting bits !


Don Charisma

Resources & Sources

Man & Flame – morgueFile

Notes for commenters:

Don Charisma Warning Improvised Writing

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma

51 thoughts on “Reigniting Passion

  1. This is a brilliant piece, Don.

    Your strategies for reigniting passion are spot-on, especially regarding burn out. The most important thing to remember when the world unloads on you and you feel buried and beaten down is that your passion is still there.

    You can draw strength from that…fan the flame…rebuild the bonfire of creativity.

    I know…I’m going through it now.

    There’s are two quotes that I use to keep my perspective when things get tough or I feel overwhelmed and beaten.

    The first is from the TV show “The Honeymooners” and was recited by the great Art Carney in his role as Ed Norton.

    “When the tides of the river upset you and the current overturns your boat. Don’t think of things that might have been. Just lie on your back and float.”

    I’m not sure of the origin of the second quote. I heard it in high school and it stuck with me.

    “When times get tough. Take my advice. Just pull down your pants and slide on the ice.”

    Don’t let yourself be defeated. Roll with the punches. Always put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Most important…NEVER GIVE UP!!!

    Very Best Regards,

  2. Reblogged this on Traces of the Soul and commented:
    What a great post! I was reading this on my smart phone on the long bus ride (due to traffic, hockey fans coming from bars…now that we no longer are in the playoffs); Last week on Traces Prompt #4 Stop Raining on Parade brought up some thoughts, and posts on negativity. Karuna at LivingLearningand LettingGo wrote a great post, A Complaint Free World
    Don has down to earth sound advice…read on , Oliana

      1. You’re welcome and thanks for sharing these great ideas…we don’t always realize we have everything we need around us but sometimes we’re just too close…

  3. I can’t imagine not being passionate, but it’s so true not being able to devote the time I would like to what I love to do most is frustrating & I miss it. Full time job takes up too much of my time right now. :-I

  4. Love the Benjamin Franklin quote, (paraphrasing here), To something worth writing about and write something worth reading. It takes time and dedication and it won’t happen the first day you roll up and decide you want to be something. Passion is the gas. Probably second best point was the part on getting over humps in life. Makes me think of a line from the Garth Brooks song, “She’s over that mountain, but he’s at the foot of that hill.”

  5. Brilliant as usual. I’m so blessed to be pursing a passion that ignited in my soul nearly 40 years ago (yes, I just admitted – almost – my age). I’ve written almost four novels in the past 8 months and gotten one of them to the stage where I can market it. A new story idea descended a few weeks ago and I’m off again to do the fun stuff – making things up and writing them down.
    I’m not as thrilled with the rewriting and editing phases, but I am passionate about perfection. My novel is an entirely different creature after three months of rewrite, revise, get critique, revise and edit. Perfect? Probably not, but ready for public consumption (when my proofreader gets done with it).
    My advice: don’t bury your passion to live the life expected of you. I can only blame myself for not persevering with writing the other two times I seriously attempted to write, polish and market stories I’d written.

  6. No romance or intimacy here? Bummer 🙂 Actually I think we should all strive to be madly and passionately in love with our lives at all times. Except for nap time. Being in love is exhausting, so nap time is kind of important.

  7. We have to re-discover positive thinking, that is very much true. Even if that sometimes seems to be insurmountable at first view. But unless positive thinking becomes a bigger part of our daily life routines, it would mean that this fear emanating would-be-society has won. Thus, many a thanks for your wonderful elaborations. 🙂

  8. Couldn’t agree more. We all, just in being alive, have our challenges, but somehow we need to keep that flame inside burning, since that is really the life force, and the desire, the hope, and belief in a better tomorrow. “Never, never give up!” to quote Winston Churchill.


  9. Spot on. It took me years to realise that you really do get out what you put in (didn’t realise that at school…) so just make sure you’re doing something you love. I think your gut instincts are always a pretty good barometer of what that is.

  10. Well written my friend 🙂 And so very true. It is not what happens to us in our lives, it is how we choose to deal with it that defines our future. 🙂

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