Do All Husbands Fart So Much ?

Another of those conundrums the Google-fairies must lose sleep trying to provide an answer too. In my opinion, no, not all husbands fart so much !

There are several aspects obviously to farting. There’s the quantity of gas expelled, there’s the frequency with which farts are emitted and there is the degree of rottenness of the smell.

Quantity, frequency and quality for short 😀

DonCharisma.org-Fart-Pants

Having been around more than a few women in my time, I can tell you that women do fart just as much as men, and often their farts do smell far worse. They seem to be more prudish about farting, the collective message seems to be that ladies are so clean and pure … Reminds me of that nursery rhyme, “little girls are made of sugar and spice, and all things nice” … what a crock ! … Sorry ladies, I’m giving your secrets away …

So the question at hand – I think it depends on what you feed your husband that will determine whether you have a stinky farty life or pleasant relatively odour free life. Prevention and cures :

Regular/frequent farts – generally caused by consuming foods that contain fibre such as baked beans. Fibre is good for keeping the poo-system regular, but not so great for gas problems. Solution, bit less high-fiber foods. Also been told that eating with your mouth closed helps, but not convinced by this one.

Quality/stinky farts – generally this is caused by rich, high protein foods, things like eggs. As a semi-vegetarian my farts hardly ever smell bad, but I have noticed that my more carnivores counterparts, especially the ones who eat lots of eggs, drop the most disgusting smelling farts. These are the leave the house kind of disasters. There’s not much quantity, but the quality, well it’s verging on biological warfare grade stink. Solution cut down on rich foods like eggs and reduce animal protein intake.

DonCharisma.org-Fart-One-More-Time

There is a caveat here. If your husband tends to belch a lot, then he’ll probably fart less. So perhaps give some approval when he does a belch, like “yay, I love the way you said ‘bottom’ as you were belching” and the usual disapproval when he farts … the gas does have to escape one way or another …

If all else fails, upgrade to a less stink prone model who takes better care of himself …

Just a few tips … serious? me? sometimes !

So there you go ladies, a short guide on how to make your husband as fart free as you seem to be 🙂

Cheers

Don Charisma

PS This turned up “Search Engine Terms” in my dashboard today.


Resources & Sources

Fart Pants Photo – www.electricearl.com
Fart One More Time Photo – strikemedays.blogspot.com


Notes for commenters:

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma



89 thoughts on “Do All Husbands Fart So Much ?

    1. Funny that so do I, was around about the time I discovered Santa is actually my parents that I also discovered that little girls aren’t made of sugar and spice and all things nice LOL

  1. People who eat complex carbs (e.g., beans, whole grains, fiber), fart the most. Those with lactose intolerance come close. I’ve never lived close enough to those with inflammatory bowel or irritable bowel syndrome to know how farty they are.

    1. Having not know Hitler personally be hard for me to agree or disagree with you on that … And in my experience it is true, I hardly ever fart … does that mean I’m “made of sugar and spice and all things nice” ? 🙂 cheers DC

  2. all living beings DO fart 😛
    nothing to feel ashamed of… it’s just that we add fun to life by teasing farters 😛

  3. lol hilarious post don!
    my husband’s farts are magic lol, not the good kind of magic. I won’t hear him fart or belch all day then as soon as I get into bed at night and cozy up with my book, it’s like a bomb goes off in his stomach and he literally won’t stop farting until he goes to sleep. it’s revolting. hahahahaha. every. single. night.

    1. Thanks Tara, I like to mix it up make sure people are still awake, offend a few trolls etc, keeps me from getting bored …

      Sounds like your laughing about the husband farting situation, so I’m pleased about that 🙂

      Cheers

      DC

      1. I understand completely! sometimes its nice to shake things up 🙂
        you should be please, I told my husband that you wrote this post then I told him my reply and he basically just laughed and said that he agrees haha

      2. lol yes, definitely. I had a discussion about this today with a group of friends (both girls and guys) they all concluded that men are just pigs who can’t be bothered controlling it hahahaha

  4. This is what I like about you. Don, you go from deep, insightful posts straight into one about flatulence!

    It has always been a major bugbear of mine that breaking wind is seen as more socially acceptable when done by a man than a woman. My argument always has been and always will be that both men and women have the same digestive system and that we have all the same ‘rear-end’ parts (except for a prostate – obviously), so why is ok for a man to fart and not a woman?

    This is the type of male-female debate that will ultimately bring about the destruction of the human race, mark my words!

    Heather xxx

    1. LOL, it’s a stigmatisation I think … “Sugar and spice” … not sure about destruction of human race, but certainly lot’s of people putting negative energy into being annoyed how things like this “aren’t fair” … that’s life !

      Cheers

      DC

      1. Perhaps I was being overly dramatic about the ‘end of the world’ thing but it is a source of constant irritation for many women that they are expected to hold their flatulence around their male counterparts. Seriously, where do you expect all that gas to go? And then you guys have the temerity to complain when we bitch and moan at you lot – where else is all that hot air that we’ve been holding in supposed to go?!

        Alas, you know that I am teasing, but I do enjoy a good battle of the sexes every now and then! 😆

        Heather xxx

      2. Men have equally a tough time keeping up with the high standards that women set for them, so six of one and half a dozen of the other really … I thought women were constantly generating hot air because they enjoyed expressing it … call me old fashioned like that LOL

        Cheers

        DC

  5. Not that I would ever read The Enquirer, but it once had an article about a women who shot her husband dead. He only ate gaseous foods and stunk his surroundings up so bad that their friends all dropped them. He also insisted on a ‘certain type of sexual pleasure’. Long story short, he farted in her face one time too many. The end.
    I still have a photocopy of the article, about fifteen years old, that I mailed to all my friends.
    I bet you never read anything as bad as that about a women!?

    1. LOL … does sound hard to top, but I’ve read/heard about a female serial killer in UK so probably could top that …

      But not the point, not competing … the story does sounds rather revolting. But does beg the question, why shoot him, why not just leave him ?

  6. My ex was shocking for this but the GG is wonderful. Could probably count on one hand the number of times he has let one rip around us in the past 17 years. Me on the other hand…… 😉

    1. You think you’re competition for my wife? Bring it on…ooops I mean let her rip!
      It’s time for a Miss / Mrs. / Ms. Methane Pageant. Although I’m quite sure my wife will receive a scepter and a crown:-)

  7. This is so funny! I have just read it out to my husband and son as they ate baked beans AND eggs!!! I’m afraid, there’s a few things I have disagree with…my husband and son burp a lot AND fart a lot, one does not lessen the other!!! And being fully vegetarian, they are both being very vocal right now about the fact that my farts smell just as bad as theirs! (They’d like to say I smell more than them but it’s all a matter of opinion!)
    Either way, you have given us much debate across the dinner table and they are both now ganging up on me and proclaiming that I smell the worst! Never…….😉

  8. Hilarious! – totally unexpected, but enjoyed. However, I’m fully vego, and I can’t make the claim you did; so I dunno what the explanation is, there.

  9. It’s time for women to take their rightful place among the ether of mass methane. We can start by celebrating some of the great gaseous ones from history. We readily recognize figures like Napoleon Blownapharte, Julius Cheeser, and Farticus. Now we can also educate young women and make them feel proud their explosive heritage with stories and holidays for famous female farters like, Florence Fartingale, Amelia Aerphart, and Marie Fartoinette.

  10. Professional weigh in here. If there’s belching or farting going on, consider getting a professional evaluation as to the cause. It could be a lack of gut flora, low stomach acid, impaired liver, celiac disease, etc. Knowing the cause leads to a happier hubby and wife.

      1. Sadly I’m too familiar with people self diagnosing. Years later when they can’t take it anymore they come to me after things have compounded. I love helping them get back on track, but it would have been easier and a lot less trouble for them if they came to me earlier on.

        Don’t beat yourself or them up. That’s as painful as bad gas. I’m only trying to add awareness that farts and burps can be signs of something serious.

      2. LOL, the post was mostly mean’t in a humorous way, so no beating myself up going on.

        It’s good that you’ve added that gas could indicate a serious problem, it’s clearly an angle I hadn’t considered.

        As for self-diagnosis, I can see your viewpoint on this, it makes sense. However I personally live by “know thyself”. Self-diagnosis is often essential considering some of the morons that I’ve met in health care. Within that I work hard to choose people to care for my health that I trust, when self-diagnosis isn’t possible.

      3. I knew it was mainly a humor post. 🙂 Good on you for self-knowing. It makes a difference when you are working with a health practitioner that you trust.

        Btw, if someone farts in my home, I’ll hand them a glass of lemon water. They know what that means. My honey doesn’t have to deal with a stinky butt woman or guests. 🙂

      4. I recently spent months on anti-biotics because health practitioner kept on giving them and the problem didn’t resolve. I finally took a friend’s advice and went to hospital instead of GP (would have saved me a lot of hassle and money). The problem is now resolved I think, the doctor at the hospital was more suitable bottom line.

        So know who to trust is also part of the self-knowing 🙂

        Mainly I like to keep what I’m posting different and changing, it keeps me interested and hopefully blog readers the same … so don’t take me too seriously !

      5. I hear you. I apologize if I was heavy handed. It was a funny search that you came across.

        If you want to pick my nutrition brain, you can do so in a facebook message at https://www.facebook.com/gina.briganti.

        Provided that your self-trust and self-knowing think it’s a good idea.

        Months on antibiotics? That’s cre-zazy. I hope it’s resolved.

      6. Don’t worry about it, it’s no problem for me 🙂

        Nutrition wise I don’t have any questions at the moment, but it’s possible soon, I will let you know if anything comes to mind …

        There’s a medical thing were the doctor doesn’t want to give one the hospital grade antibiotics because of worries about bugs become immune. Whilst the theory makes sense, and cheaper/older anti-biotics can kill some infections, it does mean that one may have to take several courses, which could mean months (in my case it did). The antibiotics I was given relieved the symptoms, only to flare up again once I finished the course. I don’t know what would have happened had I been given hospital grade anti biotics in the first instance, but it’s possible it would have been a one shot deal. The hospital also have access to intravenous anti-biotics, which was suggested by someone I know. In the end I had a minor surgery, which seems to have resolved.

        Lesson learnt, here in Thailand for anything that’s not relatively minor, go straight to the hospital …

      7. I’ll keep that in mind if I find myself visiting beautiful Thailand.

        Nutrition is amazing! I have so much fun with my clients. Especially the ones that combine Reiki with nutrition, which is most all of them. I’ll post about Reiki this week to fill in the blanks of what Reiki is and what it’s used for. It is also amazing.

        🙂

      8. 🙂

        I know a little about both, and know several people in London who are Reiki practitioners. But my knowledge can always be enhanced and broadened …

        Warm regards

        DC

  11. A funny post you come up with today Don.

    By my experience I found out, that if we eat slowly and chew our food, before it goes down, there will be not so much gas.

    When we look at the vegetables, there are many of them, as help to produce gas, but also this depend of, how we serve them.

    And not all women are bad to fart either Don.

    Thanks for sharing.
    Irene

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