Another of those conundrums the Google-fairies must lose sleep trying to provide an answer too. In my opinion, no, not all husbands fart so much !
There are several aspects obviously to farting. There’s the quantity of gas expelled, there’s the frequency with which farts are emitted and there is the degree of rottenness of the smell.
Quantity, frequency and quality for short 😀
Having been around more than a few women in my time, I can tell you that women do fart just as much as men, and often their farts do smell far worse. They seem to be more prudish about farting, the collective message seems to be that ladies are so clean and pure … Reminds me of that nursery rhyme, “little girls are made of sugar and spice, and all things nice” … what a crock ! … Sorry ladies, I’m giving your secrets away …
So the question at hand – I think it depends on what you feed your husband that will determine whether you have a stinky farty life or pleasant relatively odour free life. Prevention and cures :
Regular/frequent farts – generally caused by consuming foods that contain fibre such as baked beans. Fibre is good for keeping the poo-system regular, but not so great for gas problems. Solution, bit less high-fiber foods. Also been told that eating with your mouth closed helps, but not convinced by this one.
Quality/stinky farts – generally this is caused by rich, high protein foods, things like eggs. As a semi-vegetarian my farts hardly ever smell bad, but I have noticed that my more carnivores counterparts, especially the ones who eat lots of eggs, drop the most disgusting smelling farts. These are the leave the house kind of disasters. There’s not much quantity, but the quality, well it’s verging on biological warfare grade stink. Solution cut down on rich foods like eggs and reduce animal protein intake.
There is a caveat here. If your husband tends to belch a lot, then he’ll probably fart less. So perhaps give some approval when he does a belch, like “yay, I love the way you said ‘bottom’ as you were belching” and the usual disapproval when he farts … the gas does have to escape one way or another …
If all else fails, upgrade to a less stink prone model who takes better care of himself …
Just a few tips … serious? me? sometimes !
So there you go ladies, a short guide on how to make your husband as fart free as you seem to be 🙂
PS This turned up “Search Engine Terms” in my dashboard today.
Resources & Sources
Fart Pants Photo – www.electricearl.com
Fart One More Time Photo – strikemedays.blogspot.com
Notes for commenters:
Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button.
Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.
I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.
Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.
Warm regards, Don Charisma