doncharisma, Don Charisma's Girlfriend

Finding Mrs Right (or Mr Right) – Valentine’s Day Epilogue


I’ve had a flu the past few days. I’ve been feeling rotten and just getting on with stuff as best I can. It’s not ideal, but that’s life and what analgesics are for.

Frogs And Princesses

So what about someone special in our lives ?

I’m lucky at the moment, have a lovely lady and I’m happy. But it hasn’t always been like that. I was married once and now I am not. A mistake that I’m unlikely to repeat. Why ? Because I don’t see the point in it. Well not at least in a marriage shorter than a lifetime, marry then divorce, what’s the point in that ?

I’m happy enough to be with a woman I love, and would stay with her until either of us dies. I don’t need a piece of paper, a legal status and a ceremony witnessed by my peers to prove it. If she doesn’t believe me then she shouldn’t be with me. And it has f*** all to do with commitment or being frightened of tying the knot. I’ve done it once before, but why put myself through a divorce again. The money and emotional energy wasted, incalculable. An extremely poor investment indeed. Didn’t Einstein say the definition of insanity was doing the same things expecting different results … Getting married more than once, insanity … But never say never, maybe I’ll change my mind, has been known …

So why bring up the ex ? Well not everyone is as fortunate as me on this just passed Valentine’s day. I’ve been there too, plenty I can assure you. Not everyone has a special someone. There are many reasons why not. Some people are happy on their own and don’t care. But then there are others who do care and would like to share their moments with a special someone.

I like to share my life and my time and my moments with someone who loves me and I love her back. And certainly I do miss that when I’m not in a relationship. There are some big things, but it’s a lot of little things really.

DonCharisma.org-Angel-Silverlake-1P

Finding Your Princess (or Prince)

So, look, I really sincerely wish for those who are looking and don’t have someone, that you will find who you’re looking for soon. For me, looking back it’s been a choice, a decision that I didn’t want to be alone anymore. Or more accurately deciding that I wanted to be with someone awesome. And then go out and find Mrs Right. Whatever it takes AND however long it takes. Period. No excuses, no deviation from the road, the road is to find her, all other roads lead to somewhere I’m not going.

There is a lot of frog kissing along the way, but take your time and find someone who is right for you. Having high standards actually means you’ll “lose” a lot of the time, but eventually you’ll meet someone who’s actually more right for you.

One day you’ll meet a bunch of morons, and the next you’ll meet a bunch of lovely people. Or it might be months of meeting morons and then a day of meeting good people. Let the idiots quietly disappear into the road behind and keep looking for the keepers.

A change of geography may be a required catalyst. If you can’t find who you want where you are then move town, county/state or country if that’s what it takes. If you don’t want to move try changing community or social circle.

ONE DAY, you’ll be going about your business, thinking you’ve utterly failed at finding your sweetheart and there she’ll be smiling at you like you’d never been apart. It’s my experience that there won’t be any effort or game playing, it’ll be easy because it’s right and meant to be. If there’s a need for game playing then there is something wrong anyway, let the gamers shoot up their crack or otherwise feed their addictions elsewhere, you don’t need ’em.

Bottom line – don’t be so selfish keeping yourself to yourself, there’s a Mrs or Mr RIGHT who’s waiting for you, don’t keep them waiting too long … and don’t keep yourself waiting too long either, you are worth more than that.

Warm regards

Don Charisma


Notes for commenters:

Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button. 

Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.

I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.

Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.

Warm regards, Don Charisma



49 thoughts on “Finding Mrs Right (or Mr Right) – Valentine’s Day Epilogue

  1. Albert Einstein also said:” It is harder to break a prejudice than an atom”. 🙂
    I also agree that it is silly to base your love on one paper, but I also believe that if you love somebody deeply (and that person loves you back)…you should make sure that the whole world should know that you belong to each other (and sometimes, that requires your signature). So, DON’T GIVE UP! 😀
    As for your story ‘Finding your Princess (or Prince)’-I totally agree! One good man once told me:
    -”Life is like Deck of Cards. Imagine that Deck turned upside down (so you can’t see what card comes next, because life is just that-unpredictable)-and the cards represent people. As your life goes on, you meet other people (you turn cards), some are good, some are bad; Some are just passing by, and some will stick around… The most important thing is that you never stop flipping cards! Because, you’ll never know which card is The One, if you didn’t go through them all first”. 😀

    Best wishes! -Ivana-

  2. I really hope so. I have been alone for quite some time now. divorced 5 years ago and all i can think of is taking care of my kids and getting my career back on track. I hope what you say is true cause it scares me to death that i will be forever on my own :). Happy valentine’s day. I hope you and your love enjoyed it.

    1. Thanks hun … I’ve had long periods alone too … main thing is make that decision that you’re gonna find your mr right and stick to it … he’ll turn up soon enough 🙂

      Career and kids are important, if you’re happy doing what you’re doing this will help I’m sure …

      Warm regards

      DC

  3. Terrific post, Don. Thanks for sharing.
    My wife and I thought long and hard about the question of marriage – it is the second for both of us, and we didn’t want to put what we have at risk for the sake of convention. As alluded to above by Helen, there are financial things that happen automatically as a married couple, but that have to be worked at otherwise – that was the situation when we married in the early 90s, anyway.
    Love, trust, respect, commitment – none of these things needed a piece of paper. Automatic financial security was the clincher. I didn’t want to risk the woman I love having to jump hurdles if anything happened to me.

    1. You are welcome Keith … and yes I can see there may be legal reasons as indicated by a couple of people FOR marriage … but I reckon people should make it a one time deal, throw away marriages just give marriage a bad name and not what it’s intended for …

      Warm regards

      DC

  4. Beautiful post, Don. I think I really needed to read this as I have been struggling to find a Mr Right….hell, any kind of Mr would be preferable at the moment!

    You’re right, there is someone out there for everyone, it’s just a case of going out and finding them.

    Don, you are truly a prince among men 🙂

    Heather xxx

    1. Hey Heather, I’ve been there myself and it’s not easy. But just keep focused in yourself on finding a special someone and he’ll arrive probably when you’re least expecting it … read Crazy Crone’s story in my comments …

      I do my best hun, nobody’s perfect, like to see other people happy too 😉

      Cheers

      DC

      1. It’s not easy, especially when you have a momentary wobble with your self-confidence, but I keep on hoping that my Mr Right is out there somewhere – he’s obviously hiding very well at the moment!

        Crazy Crone’s lovely story gives me hope that it is never too late to find the ‘one’.

        Heather xxx

      2. Hey Heather, I’ll re-iterate the crazy crone … it’s never too late 🙂

        Self-confidences do wobble from time to time, just concentrate and steadying it and all will be fine …

        Hoping Mr Right is around one of the next corners for you, hopefully not to far ahead …

        Cheers

        DC

  5. Lovely words, Don, and a great post. Hope you recover soon from the ‘flu which is really dreary and glad you found a lovely lady to love and to love you back. I bumped into my husband by sheer happenstance two weeks before he was to return to the UK for good. He had been married twice and I had never married. He moved in with me that night and we are still together 37 years in April. Neither of us was looking for anyone and, in fact, I later found a photo which showed us both together when we were in stable relationships and nothing fired up between us. We did finally get married, 27 years later, mainly because we were in the UK which doesn’t recognise de facto relationships and if something had happened to me, like ending up in hospital, Bryan would have no say in my care. His daughter, granddaughters and great-grandkids were delighted, the granddaughters created the wedding cake, my step-daughter provided me with a bouquet (which I hadn’t bothered with), we had friends and family and a truly wonderful day. I wrote the words of the ceremony with quotes from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, we had everyone back to our home afterwards, and each guest ordered a Chinese takeaway meal for dinner. We were broke and this fitted the budget. If we’d still been in Australia, I don’t think we would have bothered. Later, after we’d notified British Social Security, we got a note back to confirm our marriage with a big CONGRATULATIONS on the note. I guess they thought that if an old geezer of 69 and a golden oldie of 58 could get hitched, there was hope for everyone! My own experience is that love happens when you least expect it, but it’s hard work and well worthwhile. My husband brought me in a bougainvillea flower the other day and dropped its nectar in my hand – worth more than Valentine’s Day cards as he showers me with love year round. Good luck with your relationship, the only thing that really counts for me is love, not a piece of paper.

    1. Hun, you may be crazy, but I think you’re pretty darn sensible (a good thing !)

      And yes a good reason to marry, and I reckon with todays stats people should be “courting” for at least 10 years prior to marriage (avoid the 7 year itch !) …

      I’m almost a convert, see the power of being sensible 🙂

      Warm regards

      DC

  6. That was a lovely, positive post.
    The only point i would make re marriage is that, thinking of the future, it pays to check out inheritance laws.
    Not very romantic…..but I’ve seen much loved partners stripped of every last momento by rapacious families.

    1. LOL Helen … so you’re trying to move me from not keen on marriage to completely anti !

      The whole thing is a farse in my opinion, the only thing that would restore my faith is people taking their marriages seriously and properly committing to them – lifetime lovers not fair-weather friends. The stats say otherwise, for my logical mind, it screams “bad investment” … but hey maybe I’m just unlucky or a dumbass 🙂

      Cheers

      DC

  7. Reblogged this on Forget the Viagra, Pass Me a Carrot and commented:
    The last of the Saturday Re-blogs for a couple of weeks and ending on a high note. A lovely post by Mr. Charisma himself. We have all been both lucky and unlucky in love – there is the lovely line about the guy waiting for the perfect woman, meets her and finds she is waiting for the perfect man! I believe there is someone for everyone – it may not be what you expect but that is okay – go with the flow. Thank you Don charisma and I hope you are feeling better soon.

  8. What a lovely story, Don, and how courageous to share so much. I especially like your last paragraph – you have to be vulnerable enough to share yourself and get that special someone in return.
    I’ve been married for a very long time, and through some very difficult moments in the relationship. But I’m so glad we struck it out, My prince is a true prince. He is kind and funny and gentle to everyone, fair and loving, smart, talented, and well respected in his profession. He is my anchor, by my side with so much patience through what is a very difficult and long term family issue.
    Get well soon so you can really enjoy the woman you love.

    1. Hey Sharon, thanks for interpreting my last paragraph, I had kind of realised that that’s what I’d written, but yes that’s essentially it there’s some vulnerability and risk … I like my way of saying better though LOL

      You’ve been one of the lucky ones with marriage, it’s worked out for you. I reckon there’s a lot of hard work goes into a marriage, so it’s much more than luck (to clarify !) …

      I’m happy with mine at the moment, I hope it will continue as I do love her 🙂

      Warm regards

      DC

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