I don’t know what’s happened, I hope the dude it OK, he’s a friend. His blog set to private today, so not publicly accessible.
He mentioned some haters yesterday, in my experience of him, those people ought to be ashamed of themselves. It’s one thing making constructive criticism, but the stuff he was getting sounded abusive, which isn’t constructive or positive, and possibly it’s illegal. Name, quote and shame them I reckon.
He’s a family man, and I’ve always seen him treat others with respect, including myself.
This is to show my support, best wishes to my friend OM, hope it gets sorted soon. He’s a benefit and a source of inspiration in WordPress.com as far as I’m concerned, and assume the same for 29000 others that follow him. If he needs my help, he only has to ask. A friend in need, is a friend in deed, they say.
Warm regards
Don Charisma
Don Charisma 
Don , The initial article OM wrote was about me and as Tara said earlier was completely unresearched and incorrect. I dont have a clue why he decided to take a shot at me and i never did anything to him to deserve the abuse i got off him and the 10’s of people that came from his blog and commented not only hatred on that blog post which i worked extreamely hard for and was meant to be a celebration. But they also started to post it on my other posts aswell . I dont mind people having an opinion but when its founded on pure ignorance and incorrect/made up knowledge it really annoys me. He doesnt know how hard i work on my blog and how i advertise it and make it a massive part of my life. I really didnt deserve the abuse i reveived via email either from his “followers”. However after all of this i never replied to him or started any direct posts back to him …. WHY? because i want to make friends on here not enemies. I got massively upset after reading his post because mainly i work hard for where i am and its frustrating having someone who doesnt know me or how i work critisize me or call me a liar. So id like it to be known that i didnt do anything to warrent his “article” or the abuse before and after it .
However … He is/was a blogger which many respected. While i dont appreciate the pain he put me through i do hope that mentally he is ok and his life isnt affected by the comments that others sent him. But i wont say a nice word about his writing mainly because of the way he treated me and my blog for no reason .
I love your blog Don and hope this doesnt change anything between our blogging relationship and would really like to do a guest blog with you soon . if intersted email me at sfoxwriting@hotmail.co.uk
steven
Hey Steven,
I know a little about you and came across your blog via a reader of mine in an article he’d posted on his blog, I seem to remember a writing prompt or challenge that you’d posted. I like you and your blog, this doesn’t change that. So need to worry on that account. I’ve old enough to have seen that “shit happens”, and still young enough to have a relatively open mind.
I’m also glad that you’ve partially cleared this up for me, and brave enough to share your side of the story, from it seems a largely objective viewpoint. That’s admirable, shows charisma, and as you know that’s partly what I’m about.
However please do understand my position on this. I came here to make friends also. I’m now potentially stuck in the middle between two people who are friends. I won’t take “sides”. Not because I don’t care about the issues involved, but partly through my own ignorance as already stated and partly through liking you both.
Also, I posted this as I felt OM was in need of my help, not as a thread to be changed direction, for other purposes. So I’m closing comments on this post.
Certainly I’m always interested in guest submissions from someone as highly regarded as yourself, and time allowing always happy to do guest submission for your blog. As I already said to others, personal touch is key for me, I don’t tend to do prompts or challenges, ask me personally, I will quite likely say yes, provided it’s relevant and of interest. Working together in alliances and friendships is THE ONLY way forward.
I will contact you privately by email, as I’d like to stay in touch, make friends here. Let’s make some good come out of this.
Warm regards
DC
I don’t really know what to say… I just really hope OM comes back soon, I hope he’s ok and returns soon. Thank you for letting me know, I couldn’t find his website and thought my computer was playing up. If I was religious I would pray for OM right now but I’m not so instead he’ll be continually on my mind and I hope he pops up on my Reader some time soon! 🙂
Sure he’ll be back before long 🙂
hoping as well OM returns soon.
SAme 🙂
I have never checked out his blog and can’t now obviously… Well, one thing I have learned in my years and years and a few more years of management is to not take things personally and to keep things in perspective. Sure, it sucks having people give you hell but you also control the button to the settings and the “Approve” post.
But going in a different direction!
Somewhere in this great adventure of society, interaction has gone askew. Unlike a book or the news paper, now everything has a comment section and is “interactive”. The problem is that people do not know how to debate or have a civil disagreement online and it normally just starts off with one person personally attacking the other instead of citing some facts and leaving it at that.
Maybe one day in the far off future, the Cyber-Police will seek out people who post “Your children are ugly!” in the comment section of a family trip video on Youtube. A mild corrective shock will come through the keyboard and people will learn to be civil again. Just kidding! A future like that sounds terrible…Sort of.
I blame the reality TV shows, back in the day the TV and Newspapers used to tell you what reality is, and like it or lump it. Now ordinary people who aren’t TV producers or journalists get to create reality, scary stuff ! However could be a change for the better ?
As for taking it personally, it’s good stock advice, I largely agree. However human beings aren’t entirely based on logic, are they ? All our realities are subjective, based on experiences, beliefs and the past. There’s also a question of degree. Ok so if someone calls me “a pompous ass” I might just laugh, however escalate that and it does start to matter, with degrees of cruelty and untruth, and how serious the intent is.
I mean tell a man who’s wife just died, ah dude, don’t take it personally … not really gonna help … same for a guy that just got made bankrupt … or any other kind of major loss …
For me the truth is that people do take things personally, that’s just how it is. It’s a myth those who never lose their temper, never feel hurt by something said to them, never break under tremendous pressure. None of us are invulnerable, immortal or have endless compassion. That’s the harsh reality.
I like what Margaret Thatcher said about personal attacks – “I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.”
Warm regards
DC
I second your sentiments with vigour and enthusiasm.
Thanks dude, hopefully it’s just a passing thing and he’ll be back sooner than we think 🙂
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
Hope for sun, prepare for rain 🙂
I love his blog! 😦 I commented on that post too about the haters. Geez…there should really be a way of blocking people from our own blogs IMHO. I find his posts thought provoking and he always responds in such a positive way when I comment. And I don’t always agree. 🙂 Hope he comes back soon.
I’m sure he’ll be back soon, hopefully it’s just OMs day off … cheers DC
This is the second time this week that he has made his blog private but this time he has withdrawn all other presence including his email.
I saw a post come through my email about “You’ve gone too far when you bring my kids into it” but when I tried to read the whole post I couldn’t.
Whilst I never agreed 100% with everything he wrote, he helped me out many times and for that I thank him.
Same for me Suz … hopefully a bit of time away and it will pass 🙂
Thank you for the information. I look forward to OM’s posts.
You’re welcome, and as I said ealier up on the comments, we don’t actually know the exact cause … my post was simply in support of someone who’s supported me … warm regards DC
I really hope it would be just temporary he is also out of twitter… I just don’t understand why people would need to bash others I mean if they don’t like what a blogger wrote then don’t read or unfollow the person besides every blogger has the right to post any topic they wish to discuss on their own blog right?
Same, hope that he’ll be back soon 🙂
Pretty much agree, but obviously there are limits on freedom of speech, certain topics are taboo and certain fights perhaps don’t need to be fought … like I said higher up, freedom of speech is a privilege not a right, up to the individual to use his privilege wisely or not. Within that yes it’s the bloggers blog and he can put whatever the hell he wants on it. And disgruntled followers, just unfollow quietly.
Warm regards
DC
he truly is an inspiration to a lot (including me). I hope all gets better soon. I haven’t visited his blog recently so I was shocked when I saw your post. I really enjoyed his posts plus he was the first blogger I spoke to (although via comments) when I first started here at WP… he really takes time to reply and reach out to his audience…
Really praying all is well!!!
We don’t know exactly what’s happening, maybe he’s just taking a day off, I don’t know …
He’s helped me out quite a few times, and I’m grateful for that.
I’m sure he’ll be back soon enough in fine spirits 🙂 And certainly he does have a way with the audience !
Warm regards
DC
I think the bigger you get, the more people will want to take a shot at you. That goes for both OM and SFW here on WordPress. They are giants of WordPress, and it’s OK for them to take different paths to their blogs. OM has been going back and forth lately, a lot, on whether to continue HR or not. People like to hear you out OM, as I commented on your section. Thanks for sticking your blog out for a friend, Don, and good for you to support your friend with your comment, UMQ. Civil exchanges. Very good.
He stuck his neck out for me a couple of times, and gave me the opportunity to guest blog, so only fair to do the same. My blog was down recently, so was reassuring to get emails from friends.
Totally agree with you on the civil exchanges, tact and diplomacy are pages out of my “How to win friends and influence people” book that my father gave me.
I see you in liking my posts, much appreciated … I don’t get out to like as much as I’d like, I’ve blogged about this before, but feel free to draw anything you think relevant to my attention. I don’t make any promises, but do my best:)
Warm regards
DC
He copped a lot of hate for not just the lib debate, but a post where he named & shamed a good friend of mine who received a million views in 7months, the abuse my friend got because of that was horrific and not once did OM get his facts straight, everything he wrote in that post was a lie, how do I know this? because I talk to that friend every single damn day, OM then went on to defend himself saying that it’s not okay for people to name and shame him, which I thought was ironic considering he’d done it just mere hours earlier. the abuse he copped for everything was really harsh & uncalled for. he is a family man and I did enjoy his blog etc. all things considering though anyone who wants to create 50 blogs for the money – doesn’t sit well with me and that’s what he admitted to doing. no one deserves abuse obviously but he’s no saint in this either and that’s what people need to understand. I’m not saying anything for here on out and people can think want they want but all this drama over our passion (writing) really isn’t worth it.
Hey Tara, I didn’t know about any of this, so I can’t comment as I have no context or knowledge, no excuse, that’s the truth. Any response would be in complete ignorance. Obviously I’m sorry to hear of your friend’s situation. I’m here to make friends and allies not enemies.
I will let your comment run because I believe you’re an honest person, we’ve spoken before several times. I will however close commenting on this post if this becomes an argument. The post wasn’t opened for that purpose, it speaks for itself.
For me I like OM’s ambition and try attitude, it’s a bit how I am. And I’ve always found him polite and personable. And yes he’s ambitious, which again is a quality I admire.
Personally I save the naming and shaming for the most serious cases. I’ve written a couple of posts about bad behaviour I’ve experienced, and not actually named anyone. But abusive messages/comments are serious, possibly illegal, and offending parties ought to be dealt with firmly.
Freedom of speech is a privilege NOT A right, so people should use their privilege wisely. I do, and surprises me that others don’t.
Warm regards
DC
I agree 100% with everything you just wrote! you know me better than you think 🙂 I would never start an argument anyway, it’s not worth it to me (plus I hate arguing haha).
it surprises me also that people don’t use that privilege wisely, it’s a shame especially since as bloggers we all have a voice and having it be shut down then trampled on is the worst feeling in the world.
For me this place is such an awesome opportunity, I really don’t see why people don’t just seize it and get on with it. It’s good to have a voice, and I do my best to play by the rules so I get to keep it. That way I have the power to enhance my own life and hopefully enhance other’s lives too. Without a voice we’re just talking to ourselves, really.
I’m a fairly good judge of character and been around a lot of bad behaviour, so I wouldn’t authorise a comment from any old unknown, not in that context.
Good to hear from you again anyway, I have a good friend called Tara, haven’t spoken long time, you remind me of a little bit 🙂
Warm regards
DC
I read that post too, OM was upset that the blogger was crediting his writing skill as being the reason he had received the million views in such a short time. I thought OM was a little harsh but it was his personal opinion, though I’m not sure if he should have named the blogger. It might have caused some of OM’s followers to go to that guy’s site and leave rude comments, but I would hope that OM’s readers wouldn’t do a thing like that. I checked out the guys site, he seemed like an OK guy to me.
Thanks for additional info.
*PsiFiGal – This is a general message to people reading these comments, and not personal message to you*
I don’t have context on this, I don’t know the other party, and frankly want to stay out of this. I can’t access OM’s site to read what was written and I don’t know the other party to look on their blog. Also, basically, I simply don’t care about an argument between two parties that I don’t know anything about. She said, he said and so on. If I want to and in my own time I will research this and come to my own independent conclusion, which I will probably keep to myself. You can discuss or post about this issue on your own blogs.
This thread was opened for someone who helped me, and been a friend, helpful to me and that reason only. I know the guy is no saint, neither are any of us, OM says this as his blog slogan I think. So please keep it relevant to the purpose, which is friend of mine who may be having a hard time at the moment.
If not I will close the comments, as said above.
Warm regards
DC
I totally understand, sorry. I like OM, he helped me back when I was first starting out, he was very patient and understanding. I hope he gets his blog back up and running, I have enjoyed his writing and that of his guest bloggers too.
It’s no problem, and it’s not personal to anyone, really it’s not.
I will endeavour to find out the facts, but at this moment I can’t be moderating a discussion I don’t understand, through my own ignorance, which is entirely my responsibility (not yours).
Warm regards
DC
I’m with you also
I hope it’s temporary and he’s alright. Dealing with any sort of abuse is always difficult, but that amount of vitriole would get to anyone.
It’s amazing how much hate people will put into their beliefs, and I’ve been on the receiving end myself in the past, so have some empathy as to what it’s like. Let’s hope that he’ll be back on form soon, good guy 🙂
I got a post yesterday saying that he was not responding much to comments as he was totally fed up with some of the comments directed at him. I must say I was quite surprised to the response he got about how crazy women are. I’ve been into women’s lib all my life but I thought his rant was really funny and spot on, my husband read and agreed completely and so did I, especially how women know what we are talking about while it sounds quite mad to men. But some of the responses were really hostile and, to me, showed a complete lack of a sense of humour. I can understand why he got pissed off and put up the barricades. I think he’s okay, just had it with the nay-sayers, and really so many people these days are so incredibly angry and rude. I always stay polite because hopefully people will respond in kind. Although I do have to admit that I did go bonkers once on a game hunting site in the US which posted photos of so-called “heroes” who’d shot lions, tigers, cheetahs, etc. I suggested these wannabe heroes go there without weapons and fight mano-a-mano with the wild cats but didn’t get a response. Still not sorry about that one, but sorry that HarsH ReaLiTY closed down just as I came across him.
I mean’t to post but got too busy, wish I had now. Personally I stay out of the women’s lib/feminism debate, I have my own opinions, but like to keep the hornets nest a few timezones away, as I really don’t care enough for the hassle involved. I said this to a woman who runs a men’s rights activist blog, people I care are about are myself, my loved ones, and friends, people that like and respect me, the rest aren’t that important.
Problem is that is one of his signature posts. It attracts attention, but often for the wrong reasons.
Within that, we live in democratic freedom of speech, people are entitled to say what they want within reasonable social limits. And I respect OM for saying what he wanted on it. The haters need naming and shaming, a lobotomy or banning from WordPress.
I’m virtually a vegetarian, so be inclined to agree with you about game hunting, however don’t feel strongly enough to get that annoyed about it.
Let’s hope our friend back on form soon.
Warm regards
DC
You are right, I think, that we are many, who only wish to support him best possible. He just need to ask…
Irene
Yes, Hope he sees this … I should have chipped in yesterday, but was busy writing, was going to today … hopefully he’ll take a break and come back refreshed 🙂 warm regards dc