I’m not talking about genuine victims, people who’ve been hurt or abused by cruel people. Or people who’ve had an accident, in a car for instance or in ill in hospital. There’s a validity in that, these people genuinely suffered.
What I’m talking about is those who are constantly complaining about how unfair life is, how X has it better than they do. And more than that wasting my time and energy with their complaints. What can I do ? and actually what do I care ?
Poor Pathetic Little Me
I’m getting very bored of hearing these pathetic arguments from people. I had a lot of unfair things happen to me in my life, I see a lot of things now that I could compare myself with others and say they have it better than me. But I choose not to, I don’t really care. Why ? It doesn’t make me happy. I’m actually causing myself to suffer by feeling beneath other people or feeling unfairly treated by them, self-pity and so on. It’s a bit negative-narcissistic isn’t it ?
For instance I could say :
- It’s not fair that some people have more money than me.
- It’s not fair that some people are taller than me.
- It’s not fair that some people are better looking than me.
- It’s not fair that some people have better jobs or better prospects than me.
- It’s not fair that some people A, B, C, D … X, Y, X than me.
F*** it, I really don’t care about the above. It doesn’t make me happy to care, either, so I choose not to. PERSPECTIVE AND PERCEPTION.
I am really really am sick and tired of hearing people complaining and moaning about this or that that isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair, that’s just how it is, for almost every human being on the planet.
There are plenty of people who are worse off than me too. Is it fair I see a man begging in the street here with NO ARMS AND NO LEGS. Of course it’s not fair. That’s life, sad for the poor man agreed, but still that’s life. Harsh reality to coin a fellow blogger’s catch phrase.
The problem exists in the mind – is in the comparison, and secondly in the self-pity that’s involved in thinking I’m lower (or worse off) than someone else because I don’t have the advantages they do. I’m literally giving my own power away, handing it to someone else and suffering in the process. How insane is that ? AND It’s also often manipulative.
You’re Not A Victim
A feminist friend of mine once said to me – “You’re not a victim Don”. That changed my whole perspective – I’m not a victim, or at least I have the choice not to perceive myself as one. The solution in my perception of myself, to choose not to see myself as a victim.
Another friend here on WordPress said to me “I’ve stopped EXPECTING people to behave virtuously”. Took me a while to comprehend and take in what she mean’t. It’s another way I stop myself falling into the trap of perceiving myself as a victim. If I don’t expect people to behave well, then they can’t disappoint me, essentially. Again it’s taking power back to myself, and taking responsibility for my own feelings – ie not blaming other people because I’ve decided to feel bad. Insane again …
So, grow a pair, really … Get over yourself … Take responsibility for your own feelings, I’m not your nursemaid or the person who puts your toys back in your cot for you …
“BUT IT’S SO UNFAIR DON, SARAH GOT A PONY FOR HER BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN’T” … GET OVER YOURSELF, ARE YOU A MAN (OR A WOMAN) OR A CHILD ?
Over to you guys 🙂
PS (Max Clifford is my celeb name for this post … for fun you may think up a tenuous connection if you like, please keep it clean and respectful, otherwise I may not be able to post)
Resources & Sources
Questions Marks – all-free-download.com
Notes for commenters:
Comments are invited. BUT you are reminded that this is a public blog and you are also reminded to think before you press the “post comment” button.
Good manners are a mark of a charismatic person – so please keep comments civil, non-argumentative, constructive and related, or they will be moderated. If you feel you can’t comply, press the “unfollow” button and/or refrain from commenting.
I read ALL comments but can’t always reply. I will comment if I think there’s something that I can add to what you’ve said. I do delete without notice comments that don’t follow rules above. For persistent offenders I will ignore you permanently and/or report you.
Most decent people already know how to behave respectfully. Thank you for your co-operation on the above.
Warm regards, Don Charisma